Going Under
by tessinciucy
Summary: A new case is going to tear the team apart, turning their lives upside down. Will they be able to survive? Or will they be changed forever? Rated T for now, but will change in future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone, I'm back! New month, new week, new story.

I have to confess that I am a bit anxious posting this story since it's going to be a tough, rough, complex, controversial and complicated ride, but maybe someone might say... when it's not with me? Anyway here you are the first chapter.

As always a big thanks to Xwing12 because of hard work she has to do with me, with my crappy English and with my sick mind! I truly don't know how she can make it ;)

* * *

Going Under - Chapter 1

It was a cold night. The pale light of the moon engulfed everything and the stars were shining in the sky. There was a fresh breeze that made the air crisp.

A lonely figure was walking with unsteady pace along the deserted alleys. He was wearing a pair of dirty jeans, a black hoodie and a pair of sneakers. Once in a while, the man checked behind him as he was afraid of being followed.

He walked into a narrow street where trash bins were scattered around and the smell of decomposed food filled the air. Rats were having a little party, but the hooded figure didn't care at all. He was here for a reason, the rest didn't matter.

Suddenly, after giving another furtive glance behind his shoulders, he stopped right when another man appeared almost out of nowhere and stood in front of him.

The newcomer was much shorter and sturdier and carried himself with great self-confidence, certain of who he was and what he was. "I told you not to call me before Friday!" he said with a deep voice, filled with anger and annoyance.

The taller man, the one in the hoodie, shook his head, trembling like a leaf. "I know, but I need something… I can't wait 'till Friday. Please Rollie, I have the money. I… I need a shot…" he begged with a shaky voice, moving closer.

Rollie spat on the ground, stopping the other man from getting any closer. "You bloody junkie!" He gave a light slap on the taller man's face. "Look at you. You're shaking, you're sweating… how much do you have?" he asked as he was doing the man a big favor.

"60 dollars… it's all I have. Please Rollie, just one shot…"

With a rapid movement Rollie grabbed the man's hair under the hoodie, yanking his head backwards, violently. "You know I don't like when someone calls me in the middle of the night, especially a little piece of shit like you." He took the money from the man's hand. "But I'll be good this time." He punched the man in the stomach, with great strength, very hard.

The man in the hoodie fell on his knees, coughing and panting, holding his midsection, unable to talk after the air had been sucked away from his lungs because of the heavy blow.

Rollie threw a little packet to the ground. "Get out of my way and don't call me again!" he shouted venomously, before kicking the man a couple of times.

"Aarrgghh," the other man cried out in pain but he picked up the packet and got up on his feet. "Thank you…" he murmured before walking away, using the wall as a support.

Rollie put the money in his pocket, straightened up his jacket and with a disgusted smile, turned on his heels. "What a piece of trash…" he murmured before walking away, very satisfied.

* * *

The fresh air of the night had left and was replaced by a beautiful sunny day, warmer than the previous ones. It was February, spring was still too far away, but a warm, sunny day put a smile on everyone's face. Even to NCIS agents' faces.

Sam and Callen walked into the bullpen; it was almost 9 o'clock in the morning, but they were already arguing, as usual, about their different ways to see things. The ex-Seal was complaining, once again, about the alimentary habits of his partner who, on the other hand, was sure that his friend was taking everything too seriously and was missing the opportunity to have some fun.

"Sam, you should learn to be a little less serious, to relax once in a while. Life is too short to be lived with so many rules…" Callen stated, smirking cunningly. "Take it easy and try to get a taste of everything you do, even the pleasure of cooking."

"Eating tacos for breakfast is not my idea of enjoying my life, G! Actually, that shortens it at least five years!" protested the ex-Seal, pouring herself a cup of tea.

"Yes, five years shorter, but so worthwhile! At least every moment you live is fully enjoyed, not spent worrying!" Callen sat on his desk noticing that Kensi was already there but she hadn't said a single word. She usually intervened in all the conversations. He raised his eyebrows dubiously, exchanging a puzzled gaze with his partner who shook his head to tell him that he had no idea what was going on with her.

"Kensi, is everything all right? Don't tell me that your shaggy partner forgot to get your donuts and Twinkies and went surfing instead…" Sam asked playfully. He didn't get a joke back from his young teammate and that worried him, a lot. Kensi was always ready to insult her partner or defend him, if that was the case, but silence was something new.

"Speaking of Deeks," intervened Callen, noticing the absence of the blond Detective. "Where is he? He should know that Hetty is going to cut his salary if he doesn't show up on time!"

Without answering her friends' questions, Kensi asked instead, "Guys, have you noticed anything different in Deeks lately? I mean, I know he's working pretty hard because when he gets out of here he's helping LAPD to sort out some papers from some of his old cases, but I don't know, he… he's… he looks exhausted, irritable…"

"Am I wrong or are you worried about him?" wondered Callen. He was used to Kensi and Deeks bantering non-stop all day, but thinking about it, he hadn't heard them do it as often as usual and not for the lack of trying on her part. Even if she would never admit it, Kensi enjoyed their little exchanges, as much as her partner did.

The cop had been unnaturally quiet in the last period and this was a bit strange. Well, mostly scary…

"You said it yourself, maybe he's just tired. You know better than me how he is when he has to work late hours without the chance to surf in the morning to release some tension," Sam told Kensi smiling gently, hoping she would stop worrying.

"Yeah, maybe…" she replied, sighing heavily, not entirely convinced.

It was right at that moment that the subject of the conversation decided to show up. "Morning," Deeks greeted the three agents tiredly, without adding any of his jokes.

"Hey, Deeks, where have you been? I tried to call you, but…" Kensi asked, almost jumping out of her chair.

"You're late again, Deeks…" Callen gave him a brotherly scold.

"Too much surfing?" the ex-Seal teased him, playfully.

None of them expected the answer they got. "What's this? Third degree interrogation? What I do out of this place, in my spare time, is not your business!" the cop remarked angrily, raising his voice.

"Come on, Deeks, we were just…" Sam was attempting to reply, but Deeks froze him with a cold glare.

"I don't care what you do outside of here, Sam, so I would like you to do exactly the same and mind your own damn business!" With that, he walked away towards the coffee dispenser.

Callen moved to go after him, but Kensi stopped him. "No, I… I've got him."

She approached her partner as he was pouring himself a cup of coffee, shocked to see his hands shake badly. He almost spilled a good part of the liquid in his cup on the floor because of that.

"Hey, would you like to tell me what's going on?" she asked while her eyes studied him intently.

Deeks' hair was a mess, a real mess, shaggier than usual. There were dark circles under his eyes and his clothes were wrinkled. Kensi was sure they were the same clothes he was wearing yesterday.

He looked like someone who hadn't slept in ages and who was ready to fall to pieces.

"Deeks, talk to me, you know you can tell me anything. I'm your partner…"

His blue eyes sent her a killing glance. "Are you afraid I'm not able to have your back? Is this why you're so worried?" he asked ironically, with a voice full of venom, so different from the usual tone he used with her.

"No! I'm worried about you, Deeks! Damn it… is it so hard to believe that I might be worried for you because you're my friend and I care for you?" she almost yelled, mad at him because of his reaction. "Man, what the hell is wrong with you, Deeks? Tell me, because you're starting to scare me…"

He hesitated, biting his lips nervously, then breaking the eye contact with her and bowing his head, he finally spoke, "I'm fine, Kensi. No need to be worried…"

For a moment she heard something different in his voice, something that put her on the edge. "Tell it to me looking at me straight in the eye… Look at me and tell me you're fine."

He was startled, to say the least. "What…"

"I said, repeat what you said looking straight at me, not at your feet!" she insisted firmly.

Deeks closed his eyes, defeated. He then locked his blue orbs on her. "I'm good."

Kensi knew him too well not to notice that he was hiding something. She was even sure that she had seen a hint of fear in those blue eyes she easily lost herself into and this simply terrified her.

He was good at hiding his true emotions, even to her when they were on a case, but this time, it was like his defenses were down and he was exposed.

"Deeks, I…"

Right when she thought that she was going to let him open up, a familiar whistle resounded in the air.

"Guys, we have a case…" Eric's voice found them staring at each other, unable to break eye contact.

"We better go," he said without attempting to move.

"Yeah, Hetty would complain if we didn't show up," echoed Kensi, standing still.

"Kensi, Deeks, are you coming?" Sam called to them.

"Yeah, we're on our way," Deeks answered, finally bowing his head and breaking the awkward moment. "After you, Fern." He gestured to let her pass.

"This is not over Deeks. I need to know what's going on with you… and I will find out sooner or later," she stated, locking her gaze on him, nodding gravely.

He pondered what to do or to say to her, before deciding to flash one of his smiles, a very sad one, though. "I know…" he sighed and then turned on his heel, before adding, "Thanks…" and then he walked away.

Kensi passed a hand through her hair, taking a deep breath. She was determined to find out what was bothering him, but she couldn't deny the fact that she was a bit afraid of doing it. A tight knot formed in her stomach remembering his sad smile, the hint of panic she read in his eyes, his trembling hands. "What the hell is wrong with you, Deeks?" she murmured.

Shaking herself, taking her mind away from those thoughts and from Deeks, she started walking after her partner. They had a case now and she had to focus on it.

* * *

"Mr. Beale, please," Hetty nodded to the tech, exhorting him to start explaining the new case.

"Ok," Eric stood up and moved to the center of the room, playing with his tablet. Immediately the screen took life and images appeared on it. "Meet Petty Officer Dave Randall. He has been found dead a few hours ago in a warehouse close to the Santa Monica Pier. Cause of death: two shots at the back of his head."

"Execution style," Sam stated seriously, crossing his arms on his chest.

"So it seems," Nell added, nodding.

"What do we know about him?" wondered Callen, narrowing his eyes and studying the pictures on the screen, trying to find anything that would catch his attention.

"Randall arrived just a few days ago with the USS Constellation after an eight month mission in the Gulf. We're trying to collect all information available about the said mission and about his job on the ship, but from what we have found out so far, he didn't have any specific or strategic assignment. He was working in the supplies' department." Eric explicated as his fingers moved on his pad "These are Petty Officers Derek Mason and Roy Cortez. They were Randall's friends and the ones who reported his disappearance."

Kensi cast a look at her partner, surprised that he hadn't said a single word or cracked a joke. Something was definitely off with Deeks, but what? She was determined to find out, because this was not her partner, the man she loved spending time with. This was a stranger. "Do we have LAPD's report about the crime scene? Anything that could help us with our investigation?"

"Well, actually…" It was Nell who spoke, "LAPD found a little quantity of heroin in Randall's pocket."

"Heroin? Do they think his death might be related to a drug issue?" Sam shook his head. He truly didn't like this. He was fiercely against the use of any kind of drugs. It was against his principles, but he hated even more the fact that a military, someone who was supposed to do something important for his country, might use drugs during a mission, compromising it and endangering his comrades and their safety.

"Actually, we don't know yet. But it's something worth checking out. I'm running a search on the camera feeds around the warehouse trying to find something useful for our case," Eric said, turning to face the agents.

"We checked Randall's record, military and not, but they came out clear. Nothing was out of place. We couldn't find anything that might lead to his killing," Nell added, working frantically on her keyboard. "He was a model sailor."

"Mr. Hanna, Mr. Callen, you go to the USS Constellation and talk to Petty Officers Mason and Cortez. Find out everything they know about their friend and his habits, contacts, family… everything," Hetty instructed, receiving a nod from her agents. "And Miss Blye, Mr. Deeks, you take the crime scene. Find anything LAPD didn't find or didn't think was important. Every detail could be vital. Go now, we all have some work to do."

One after another, the three agents and the detective left Ops with a job to do.

"Mr. Beale, you and Miss Jones continue with checking the cameras, please. Run Randall's background, too. We need to find something out of place. I have the distinct feeling that this is just the tip of the iceberg," the Operations Manager said, before walking out of the room as well.

Once they were alone, Nell cast a wary glance to her partner in crime, frowning, clearly worried about something. "Did you notice anything strange?" she asked curiously, hoping to find some confirmation to her doubts.

"Strange? What do you mean?" replied Eric, even more puzzled.

"I don't know, but something was off… and well, Deeks didn't crack a single joke today. Actually he looked like he was not even listening. It's not like him to behave like that. He was miles away. And to be honest, it concerns me," continued the analyst, sitting at her desk.

"Maybe he just had a rough night…" the tech stated, replaying the whole scene in front of his eyes. He couldn't agree more with his partner. Something didn't seem right with Deeks. His silence was absolutely weird and so was his behavior, but he didn't want to start worrying. Not yet. "We all have some days in which we're not on top!"

"Yeah…" muttered Nell unconvinced. "But have you ever seen him like that? Even when he has a bad day, there's always a smile, a joke, a comforting word coming from him, but today…" Nell stopped, taking a deep breath. "Gah, maybe I'm just over-analyzing stuff, giving them too much importance and relevance. Maybe you're right…"

Eric nodded silently, following her lead and going back to work. But it was hard to ignore the warning bell ringing in his head, the clear sensation that a storm was coming. And a very bad one…

* * *

Driving to the crime scene never looked so long to Kensi. The silence in the car was oppressive and the atmosphere between the two partners was so heavy, so thick, that it could be cut with a knife.

With her hands clenched on the steering wheel, once in a while she cast a scrutinizing glance at Deeks who was resting his head on the car window with his eyes closed.

It was a very warm day and Kensi was thinking about turning the air conditioner on, but stopped when she noticed her partner bracing himself in his jacket, shaken by violent shivers.

"Deeks, are you sure you're ok? You're shaking badly but it's hot in here," she asked puzzled, but mostly concerned.

"I'm good, keep driving," he replied, a little bit too harshly for her taste.

"Hey! There's no need to be rude!" She protested furrowing her brows as her worry grew exponentially. Deeks might be annoying and all, but he was never rude, especially not towards her.

"Kensi, please, just drive. Ok?" His voice had a pleading note that didn't do anything other than put her even more on edge.

Kensi stared at him, almost shocked. What's wrong Deeks? she silently asked herself. "Just tell me if you need anything," she only managed to say, before moving her attention to the road.

Fifteen minutes later, they finally arrived at the crime scene and before Kensi even realized it, Deeks jumped out of the car and rushed behind a trash bin, just in time to start retching dry heaves.

"Deeks!" she ran to his side, trying to help him to sit down. "Damn it! Why you didn't tell me you were sick? Hell Deeks! I would have taken you home if I knew!"

"I'm good," he murmured, wiping away the saliva from his mouth with the sleeve of his jacket.

"Don't lie to me. It's clear that you…"

"I said I am fine!" he yelled angrily, wriggling away from her touch and attempting to get up with the support of the wall. "And if I wanted your help, I would have asked for it!"

Kensi couldn't believe her own ears, not to mention her eyes. Still shocked, she tried to reach out to him. "Deeks… what's wrong? Tell me… Do you need a doctor?"

His expression hardened and his eyes became as cold as ice. "Hell, Kensi, what language do I have to use to tell you that I'm fine?" He passed a trembling hand through his hair, matted with sweat, and then walked away from his partner, unsteady on his feet, leaving a startled Kensi behind.

The NCIS agent followed him with her gaze and saw him take out a bottle of pills. Without any water, he gulped a couple of them, leaning his head against the wall for a few minutes.

After what seemed a lifetime, Deeks looked for his partner's eyes.

Kensi didn't expect to see so much pain, so much sorrow in his glare. She barely recognized her partner in this troubled man. What happened to you Deeks? she wondered, determined to find out what was so wrong with her friend that would reduce him in this pitiful state. Her eyes watched him approach, unable to turn away. She couldn't stop thinking about his behavior, about the way he talked. He sounded so un-Deeks-like. It was like she had a stranger in front of her. When he had looked at her, in distance, she had seen something more, something different. Something that had chilled her bones. Something that sent her on the edge. In the past three years, she had learnt to read him very well, knowing when he was truly happy, when he was sad or when he didn't want to be bothered because he was in a dark place. Kensi had accepted it, because she was aware that sooner or later Deeks would come to her, explaining or apologizing. But right now, she was not able to decipher his behavior. She was not able to get through to him. It was like he was shutting her off. He had never done that, not once, not even when he had retreated into himself. She always knew that he would eventually come to her. This time was different. This time his eyes had lost all of his sparkle, all of his joy. They were dull, almost lifeless and this terrified her, because what she loved the most about Deeks was his ability to have a smile on his face, even in the worst of situations… there was no smile here. Just pain. Just sorrow. Just desperation.

Once again, Kensi tried to imagine what could have caused this change, when it started, if there had been a particular event that might have touched him so deeply to push him too hard, but she couldn't find any. They had been busy lately, with several hard cases, but Deeks had been the same, cheeky, annoying, caring chatterbox… What happened? What really happened? She sighed when he finally stopped in front of her, looking a little bit more in control than just few minutes ago.

"You ok?" she asked again, locking her mismatched eyes on his blue ones. Trying with all of herself to get through to him and touch his soul. In vain. The shield was in place, stronger than usual.

"Yeah, I'm fine… let's…" he hesitated, bowing his head. "Let's do our job!" and with that, he walked past her and moved towards the crime scene where some police officers were standing. He greeted them nonchalantly, while stopping at the place where Randall's body had been found.

Kensi joined her partner, inspecting the dead body of Dave Randall. "Two shots, close range. Not a big caliber or the damage would have been far worse than this," she said wearing the black latex gloves and frisking the man's jacket.

"LAPD said that they found his wallet in its place, along with all the money and the credit cards. Not a robbery…" Deeks said, showing her partner a little evidence bag. "And they found this…"

She took it from him, opening it to check on the substance in the bag. "Heroin as Nell and Eric said. Not so sure whether it was for personal use or not," she rolled Randall's sleeve up, checking for needle marks, not finding any, though. "He's clear."

The cop shivered, turning his face away from the dead man and Kensi, inhaling deeply.

"Hey, what's up?" she asked, frowning, seeing the clear discomfort on her partner's pale face.

"Nothing, I… my stomach is just a bit messed up and didn't take the sight of the blood very well. I… I need a moment…" without waiting for a reply, Deeks walked away from the body, passing a hand through his hair.

"Deeks! Deeks… hey!" she called, but he didn't acknowledge her. "Damn it!" she muttered, confused and disappointed, continuing with her job, checking on the crime scene and on Randall's body. When she was finally satisfied, she got up, took off the gloves, and walked towards the area where her partner had disappeared. A determined expression darkened her face. The more she approached him though, the more concerned she became.

Deeks was in fact sitting with his back against the wall, his knees bent to his chest, encircled by his arms. His chin rested on them as he rocked himself, fighting the trembling of his body. His eyes were empty and lost.

"Deeks, please tell me what's wrong. You're scaring me here…" Kensi told him gently, with a feeble voice, as she sat beside him.

"I… I am sorry, Kensi…" he tilted his head so his eyes could stare at hers and she was surprised to see the tears in them. "I'm just sorry…"

Kensi didn't know how to put this. In the three years she had known him, this was the first time that he was so vulnerable. The first time in which his shields were completely down. And it melted her heart. "Sorry? Why are you sorry? Because you're sick and…"

He closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Forgive me, if you can, Kensi… please…"

The cop got up abruptly, fighting a new wave of nausea catching up with him and leaning against the wall as a support. "We… we better go back to the Mission, now…" He flashed a smile, but it was terribly sad and didn't reach his eyes, still veiled with sorrow.

"Deeks, wait… I…" but once again, he was already gone when words came out of Kensi's mouth. Her heart broke, seeing him so conflicted, so torn inside, unable to tell what was eating him like that. For sure it was bad, very bad, because this was not her partner, not the Deeks she knew.

She took a deep breath and followed him towards her car.


	2. Chapter 2

I realized I didn't write any disclaimers before the first chapter, so I need to make up for that. I don't own NCIS LA or any of its characters... sadly. I simply play with them!

Now, thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, followed or favorited this story. It means a lot to me and I truly appreciate it.

And as always I can't forget to mention Xwing12, her help is precious. I'd be lost without her and her support.

* * *

Going Under - Chapter 2

"Hey guys," Nell greeted Sam and Callen who stepped into Ops. "Did you find anything useful during your trip to the Constellation?"

"Said like that sounds like we went to space," Callen smirked looking at his partner. "Sam can be happy, now he needs to be sent only to Iceland…"

"Funny, very funny, G!" the ex-Seal mocked his friend, moving his attention to the two techs in the room who looked at them with a puzzled expression "Don't listen to him…"

"Oh come on Sam. See? That was exactly what I was talking about this morning. You need to take things more easily…" the team leader stated patting his partner's shoulder, then noticing the two pairs of confused eyes staring at him, he added. "Sam told me once that he had been in every place James Bond went during the movies, except Iceland… and out of space."

Nell and Eric finally chuckled, understanding what was going on between the two senior agents.

"As I said, don't listen to him," Sam insisted, not very amused by this whole situation. So he turned into job-mode. "We talked to Randall's friends but nothing came out. His quarters were clear as well. What about you two? Found anything?"

"Oh well… actually we might have something interesting," Eric started, working on his computer. "We checked Randall's phone and we found that in the last couple of days he called the same number several times."

"Do we know to whom that number belongs to?" Callen asked moving behind the tech's shoulders.

"Yep," Eric indicated the big screen, while Nell picked up her tablet and started explaining.

"Rolando 'Rollie' Ramirez. 42 years old. He's a well-known drug dealer with connections throughout the whole city. He was born in Puerto Rico, but he moved to the US when he was two years old. He followed in his father's steps, but let's just say that he was a bit smarter than his old man, who spent his last days in jail. Rollie never spent more than a few days in prison, always coming out of it, clean as a white sheet," the petite analyst explained, showing some pictures of the man on the big screen.

"So we have a Petty Officer who has been found with heroin in his pocket and who had a lot of contacts with a notorius drug dealer," Sam reflected, mumbling mostly to himself. "It seems that Randall was not exactly a saint…" There was a little hint of judgment in his words.

"Yes, and according to the phone call we managed to retrieve, there was a business going on between them..." Nell said, looking at the two senior agents.

"Eric, are you able to contact Ramirez? Maybe we can set a meeting telling him that we're going to take Randall's place after his premature demise…" Callen wondered, as his mind was already planning their next moves.

"Do you know that if Ramirez is the killer, he would like to take care of you as he took care of Randall?" Nell protested, unable to hide her concern.

"Oh yes, I'm aware of this, but we'll go to the eventual meeting prepared… and if he makes a wrong move, we'll take care of him. If he's not the killer, we can always question him. Maybe, even if he is not involved with Randall's death, he knows something about the Petty Officer that can help our investigation," the team leader stated with a determined expression planted on his face.

"Eric, so… can you do it?" Sam asked again, more resolutely.

"Yeah, I am already working on it," the tech was working busily, typing at his keyboard. His eyes never left the screen of his computer. "Ok, I managed to track the signal of his cell phone, so we will know where Ramirez is going to be every moment. Now it's up to you, Callen. Tell me when you're ready to contact him…"

Callen exchanged a concerned but determined look with his partner, then nodded. "Just do it now, Eric."

The tech worked on his keyboard and soon he made a connection with Ramirez's phone. After a couple of failed attempts and a lot of ringing, finally a deep male voice answered.

"Who's there?"

"Wow, what a nice way to welcome your potential new partner," Callen said with a lot of irony in his tone. "I know about your business with Randall. I bet you probably know about his premature demise. Dave was an idiot and probably deserved what he got. But I can help you… and I may have something that you could be interested in."

"I don't know what you're talking about, man. I don't know any Randall…" Ramirez replied shortly, ready to close the communication.

"Oh come on, Rollie. We all know about your business. I know what you want… and I have plenty of it. I bet you already tested the goods in Randall's hands. I can provide you with as much as you want, same quality," insisted the team leader with a steady and confident voice.

"Who are you?" Rollie asked, unable to hide his curiosity and his growing interest.

"You can call me, Mr. Dominic. That's all you need to know right now."

There was a moment of silence on the other side of the line as Ramirez thought about his next move. "How do I know you're not a cop or worse? Or someone hired to kill me?"

"A cop? And how would I know about Randall and his little… vice?" Callen was teasing the other man, allowing him to believe in his words. This was what he was very good at. "And trust me, if I wanted you dead, you'd be already dead."

After another long hesitation, Ramirez said, "Ok, in an hour. Union Square, near the ticket booth. How can I recognize you?"

"Don't worry, you'll find out when you see me…" and with that, the NCIS agent ended the call.

"So, it went well," Nell stated. She couldn't deny the fact that she was worried.

"Yes, it did," Callen nodded, looking at his partner. "He sounded worried about his business, not much about Randall. He didn't even ask anything about his homicide… But he was scared about his own safety."

Sam passed a hand over his face. "Yeah, I know. I don't think he killed Randall, but I think we'll find out soon. We better get going, G. We have less than an hour."

"Eric, inform Hetty about this operation. I know she won't be too happy we didn't tell her earlier, but we couldn't waste time," the team leader instructed his tech friend. "And call Kensi and Deeks. Tell them to meet us at the boatshed."

"Consider it done," Eric told him, before adding, "Guys, be careful, ok?"

Nell intervened before the two senior agents left the room, "Are you sure you don't need any back up in this? I can alert a team to support you…"

"It's ok, Nell. We can manage it. Ramirez can't risk killing us or he will lose all of his hopes to get a good deal and a new adequate drug supply." Sam gave the analyst a dimpled smile, before walking outside Ops, followed by his partner.

"How can they do that?" she asked turning to face Eric with puzzled expression. "How can they be so collected and calm before going out to meet a potential assassin?"

"I… I don't know. But they are the best and they will never take anything for granted. Believe me, even if they joke and all, they have already evaluated all the odds and all their chances…" the tech explained, hoping to calm down his friend.

"I know, but that doesn't make me feel any better…" Nell took a deep breath and then moved back to her computer and continued doing her work.

Eric watched her, sighing. No matter how long he has been doing this job, he will never get used to seeing his friends in danger. He might not be good in the field, but here, in this room, he could try to do everything to keep them safe. He could find all the information about this Ramirez so that they could be prepared. Callen and Sam might be the best in their field, but he was good, hell he was very good too in his. "Come on, let's do our job," he murmured, sitting at his desk, working on some folders about Ramirez.

* * *

Union Station was crowded at that time of the day with people walking up and down to get to the trains or their final destination. Rolando Ramirez stood silently, stone faced, next to the ticket booth, checking his watch, waiting for the mysterious Mr. Dominic to show up. He couldn't deny that he was curious to know what the man had to offer him.

After Randall's death he was sure that his business was going to have a brusque stop because of the lack of supply, but if this man was ready to provide what the Petty Officer offered him and maybe even more, well, maybe Randall's death was much more worthy and he should thank whoever eliminated him from the picture.

With a big grin planted on his face, he scanned the area surrounding him, exchanging silent glances with his men, placed in strategic position to protect him. _Better to be safe than sorry_, he told himself.

A big group of tourists busy looking around, admiring the beauty of the old station, approached him. Ramirez tried to move, but a strong hand grabbed his elbow and stopped him. He turned around to see a big black man holding him and another man with sparkling blue eyes, staring at him with a smirk curving his lips.

"Hello Ramirez," the blue eyed man greeted him. "I told you that you would recognize me the moment you saw me."

"Dominic?" Rollie wondered puzzled, surprised by the sudden appearance of the two men.

"It's Mr. Dominic, to you," the big man increased the pressure on his arm, making him jerk.

"Now that we have introduced ourselves, why don't you start walking, nonchalantly…" Mr. Dominic instructed him, always smiling.

The three figures followed the wave of tourists, moving away from the ticket booth, away from Ramirez' s men eyes and soon they were outside.

"What do you want?" Rollie asked, wriggling from the big man's grip. "You said you had something to discuss. That you wanted to jump into Randall's shoes…"

"Oh yes, indeed I did. Although, I don't want to end like Randall, though. Lying on a cold metal bed at the morgue!"

"Look, Mr. Dominic. That little bastard promised me a big supply of some… goods. His death ruined my plan! Do you think I was so stupid to kill him?" Ramirez snapped, straightening his expensive suit.

"He has a point," the big man stated, smiling at Mr. Dominic. There was something in his expression, in the way he smiled that put Rollie on edge and unsettled him.

"What… what do you mean? What…" Ramirez muttered, narrowing his dark eyes, studying the two men intently. "Who are you? You… you're not…" he couldn't finish his sentence.

The blue eyed man took out a badge while the big man un-holstered a gun, pointing it straight at Rollie's face. "Federal Agents and you better follow us. Now."

"Don't make any foolish moves or try to contact your men, or we'll find a place for you next to Randall's body at the morgue." The gun moved dangerously closer to Ramirez's forehead.

"Son of a bitch! You fooled me!" He tried to get away; tried to find an escape, but the blue eyed man was too quick. Ramirez felt his arms stretched behind his back as his wrists were zip-tied.

"Now, I think it's time we make a little trip…" Mr. Dominic told him, grinning, before pushing Rollie towards a black car parked not so far from their position.

* * *

"I want a lawyer. My lawyer, actually!" Rolando Ramirez almost shouted in the silence of the interrogation room of the boatshed. He was sitting in front of Sam and Callen who studied him with cold eyes. "I want my lawyer, I have rights and you're not respecting them as much as you're not respecting me as a human being. You brought me here against my will, even though I didn't do anything to break the law. I was just waiting for my train at the station!"

"You are not in any position to demand anything," the ex-Seal told him with a calm voice, but his expression was still serious "So you better start answering our questions if you don't want to be sent to jail without the opportunity to save your sorry ass! Because right now, you're going to face at least a ten year sentence."

"You're lying. You have nothing against me or I would be already in jail!" Ramirez laughed nervously, but he felt a bit cornered. He tried to show some defiance but he failed miserably.

"Are you sure?" Callen said simply, as he laid a brown folder on the table, tapping it with his fingers. "I bet there is some interesting information in here, some of your connections, something about your business and trafficking…"

"And do you really think that you can fool me with an empty folder? You're crazier than I thought!"

"Who said it's empty?" The team leader opened the folder and started reading intently. "You know with what kind of gun Randall was killed? Which caliber?" he smirked cunningly.

"Of course he knows," intervened Sam, winking. "It's his 22 that killed Randall!"

"Wait, no! I didn't kill him! I… I might have a 22, but… I… I haven't used in ages…" Ramirez felt like he was grasping at straws. Even if he hadn't killed Randall, the feds might find a way to arrest him, using the homicide as an excuse and in doing so, his businesses would be ruined. "Ok… ok… I will tell you everything I know, but you have to promise me that you won't send me to jail…"

"Again, Ramirez, you're not in any position to ask for anything! If I was you, I would co-operate, then we'll see… maybe we can even manage to be magnanimous," Callen looked at him with cold, blue eyes that didn't show any emotion.

Rolando sighed deeply, passing a hand through his thick, dark hair. "Ok…"

Sam exchanged a satisfied smile with his partner, pleased that once again their little show worked. "Ok, what was your relationship with Randall?"

Ramirez bit his lip nervously then started talking, "Randall contacted me a couple of months ago, through one of my trustworthy friends, Angel Gorman. He said that he was going to have in his hands a big quantity of heroin, high purity, that could be sold for a high profit and relatively easily. He gave me a little sample, just a few grams. I can assure you that it was the best sample I have ever tested…"

"Did he tell you where he got it?" wondered Callen frowning, not liking the idea of a Petty Officer involved in this kind of dirty trafficking.

"Actually, he told me that he knew someone who worked for a Federal Agency or for the Police. He never explained who was going to find a way to get his hands on the heroin. We were talking about so much heroin, that it would serve the entire city of Los Angeles for a year!" There was a hint of excitement in Ramirez's eyes as he spoke about the drug, still imagining the great amount of money deriving from the sale of the heroin.

"So, he basically offered you heroin that he didn't get, not yet… and you believed him," the ex-Seal studied the man's expression, trying to understand whether he was sincere or whether he was lying.

"Yes, we were going to finalize our little business in the next few days. Too bad he never showed up at the meeting we set up for last night! He was going to introduce me to his associates."

"When was the last time you talked to Randall?" Callen asked, anxiously, feeling that something useful might come out of this.

"Yesterday morning. I told him that I wanted to finalize by the end of the month, so he offered to introduce me to his associates in a meeting at our usual place… in a night club called Agua Caliente." A big grin curved Ramirez's lips. "It's always great to make some good deals surrounded by very open and accessible girls. And trust me, The Agua Caliente has the best piece of whores ever…"

Sam shook his head disgusted by this man, but remained professional. "What happened instead?"

"I waited for them at the Club, then around two am I received a call. I thought it was Randall, but it was just another of those bloody junkies who begged me to get a shot. Man, I hate those little pieces of shit, they'd do everything for a dose, even sell their own mother!" A venomous note filled his words and he was ready to spit on the floor in disgust, but the two agents' glares stopped him from doing it.

"So you met this guy and then?" Callen took out his phone ready to contact Eric, but first, he wanted to hear the entire story.

"Then nothing! I met with the junkie in an alley at the back of the Club, I sold him what he wanted, then I went back inside. I called the little bastard of Randall and when he didn't pick up my calls, I decided not to waste the night and have some fun with the girls." Ramirez sensed the Agents' scrutinizing gaze so he went on, "You can ask everyone in the Club… it's not that I was very discrete and I bet that there are surveillance cameras outside the Club, maybe you are even lucky to see me meet that son of a bitch of a junkie!"

The team leader was expecting this, so he walked out of the room and dialed Ops "Eric…"

"Go ahead Callen," the tech replied promptly.

"I need you to check Ramirez's phone and see the calls he received in the last couple of days. And check the camera feeds around a Club called _The Agua Caliente_. Ramirez said he met with someone in an alley around 2-2.30am. Let me know what you find…"

"I will call you as soon as I find something," Eric was closing the conversation when Callen called him back.

"And Eric, ask Nell to run a search about Randall's friends. See if there's someone who works for a Federal agency and who might be connected with the requisition of a big amount of heroin in the last two – three months,"

"Consider it done," the tech replied before hanging up.

The team leader sent a text to Kensi, asking where she and Deeks were. He needed them to check on the club, but when she answered that they were just few minutes away from the boatshed, he decided that it was better to update them on the new developments of the case before sending them to the Agua Caliente to investigate and to check Ramirez's alibi.

He stared at the screen watching Sam leaving the interrogation room as well. A few seconds later his partner was at his side.

"Do you believe it?" the ex-Seal said, sitting at the table. His voice was relaxed and steady.

"Yeah, he would be a fool to create such a story and he had too much to lose from Randall's death."

"So…" started Sam, tilting his head. He agreed with his partner, but it seemed to him that right now, they were still at the same starting point in the investigation of Randall's homicide. "What now?"

Called sighed heavily "Now, we wait…"

* * *

Nell and Eric worked frantically on their assigned task until their fingers hurt and their eyes were burning. The silence in Ops was almost oppressive and a bit unsettling. Once in a while they exchanged a glance to check on each other, to see if they found anything interesting. But for now, nothing useful had come out.

The sliding doors of Ops opened and Hetty stepped inside with a serious expression planted on her face. "How are things going with your research?" she simply asked, approaching them.

"We are still working on it." Eric didn't even take his eyes away from the screen of his computer. He was too busy, concentrating.

The Operations Manager turned her attention to her analyst. "Miss Jones? Do I have to take your silence as a lack of development or as something else?"

Nell didn't answer the question and continued working on her task.

"Miss Jones?" insisted Hetty, furrowing her brows. She knew the petite analyst well enough to realize that she was up to something.

"Yes!" Nell finally exclaimed, triumphantly, "Got you!"

"Would you mind getting us acquainted with your find?" wondered a very puzzled and curious Hetty.

"Yes, of course…" the analyst nodded in agreement, stretching her cramped fingers. "As Callen asked me, I was looking for any requisition of heroin in the last months and a possible connection with Randall, when the report from LAPD about the drug found in the Petty Officer's pocket popped out. The drug corresponds to a big batch of heroin confiscated eight months ago from a drug lord, named Markus Weigman, during a LAPD operation."

"Markus Weigman?" The Operations Manager frowned, as the name rang a bell in her mind.

"Do you know him, Hetty?" Nell stared at her boss with an anxious expression, aware that Hetty always knew more than anyone else.

"Not personally, but I know someone who does…" Her eyes narrowed and her face darkened, unable to hide her worry.

"And…?" The petite analyst pushed a little further.

Hetty sighed heavily, taking a long breath before talking "Mr. Deeks was the undercover agent involved in Weigman's operation. He was the one who wormed his way into Weigman's organization and who played an important role in taking it down."

Nell tilted her head, thinking. "Oh, yes, I remember when he went off the radar for a little while last year…" She surely remembered because it was a long and tough operation that had worked Deeks more than he wanted to let on. It took him a while to decompress and to get back to his own self. The problem was, that he didn't talk to anyone about that operation, bottling up everything that happened.

"We need to be very careful when we bring the subject back up to Mr. Deeks, but he needs to know, as much as the team." The Operations Manager was trying to figure out the implications of this last discovery and how to update her liaison officer, without taking him back to more dark places.

While Nell and Hetty were discussing the new developments, Eric had been working on his own task, almost shutting himself off from everything. Something was starting to come up from his research, but there was something he needed to double check… because it seemed strange, not right. Actually, it looked completely wrong. The more he researched, the more wrinkles formed on his forehead.

"It can't be…" he murmured, catching the two women's attention.

"What's wrong Mr. Beale?" Hetty asked, sensing that something was going to happen, something that she was not going to like. Not at all.

"I finally managed to crack into Ramirez's phone and I found out who called him last night. I… I couldn't believe it myself, so I checked all the phone call records and, sadly, I… I had the confirmation…" The tech's voice was nothing more than a whisper as he was finding it hard to accept what he was about to share with Nell and Hetty. "But this is not all… this is the footage of the back of the club, right at the time when Ramirez met his client…"

The big screen on Ops took life and the video started playing. They saw Ramirez meeting a mysterious man wearing a black hoodie. The images were not very clear, but showed an animated conversation between the two men, immediately followed by a scuffle where the hooded man had the worst. Ramirez hit him pretty hard, sending him to the ground where he kicked the man even more. The mysterious man, after few long moments, managed to put himself on his feet and walk away. Doing so, he finally showed his face to the camera…

"But it's…" Nell started, shocked by what she saw.

"It can't be… there must be an explanation to this." For the first time, Hetty's voice cracked.

"I would like to tell you that it's not true… but the phone records don't lie. This has been going on for quite some time…" Eric told them, his tone was a mix of sadness and disbelief.

"I… how can… it's impossible. We… he… no…" The analyst was speechless and incredulous. It couldn't be, it couldn't be true. There must be some plausible explanation to all of this, but the eyes of the man on the screen didn't lie, bloodshot eyes with black, dark circles under them. And the general appearance, the hunched shoulders, the trembling…. Those signs couldn't lie.

Hetty clenched her hands around the back of Nell's chair. Her usual indifferent and distant mask was completely gone. "Mr. Beale, contact Mr. Callen and Mr. Hanna and let them know about what you have found."

"But Hetty, what about…" He was not able to finish the sentence, because the Operations Manager stopped him.

"Just do it, Mr. Beale! The sooner the better…" and with that, Hetty turned on her heels and walked out of the room, with a heavy burden weighing on her shoulders. It looked like she had aged at least ten years in just a few moments.

Eric exchanged a sorrowful look with Nell, noticing her own sad face.

"I can't believe it… It's impossible. It's just…" she paused, locking her gaze on the screen where the image of the hooded man was still on, like he was staring straight at her. "What's going to happen now?"

The tech wanted to reassure her, wanted to tell her that everything was fine, that things were going to be ok, but the words died in his throat and suddenly he felt at a loss. What was going to happen now? How would the team react to this? "I… I don't know. I… really don't have the slightest idea. But, for sure, it won't be anything good…" Without waiting for a reply, he pressed his earpiece and, taking a deep breath, he called Callen.


	3. Chapter 3

Here I am with a new chapter.

Thanks to whoever is following this story, reading and reviewing it and to the ones who favorited it. I appreciate it.

And, as always, a big thanks to Xwing12, for her precious help and for bearing with me.

* * *

Going Under - Chapter 3

When Kensi and Deeks stepped through the door of the boatshed, they immediately realized that something serious had happened. Callen's and Sam's faces were too dark, too grave. The two agents were tense like violin chords, ready to explode at any moment. Their body language was very clear and evident and their eyes seemed ready to incinerate what was around them.

"Hey guys… what are those faces? What happened?" Kensi asked, moving slowly towards her friends, while Deeks remained a little behind her, studying the two senior agents' expressions with his scrutinizing blue eyes.

"Why don't you ask your partner?" Callen said coldly, turning on the plasma screen showing the inside of the interrogation room where Ramirez was still sitting all alone. Waiting. The team leader watched the color leave the detective's already pale face as he passed a trembling hand through his hair.

"Deeks? What the hell is he talking about? And who is that man?" The female agent turned to look at her partner straight in the eyes, but he bowed his head, ashamed, moving a few steps backwards.

"Come on, Deeks… tell her…" Sam got up from his chair and moved towards the cop with a cold expression. His voice was hard and accusatory. Not receiving any answer, he insisted, "Tell her what's your relationship with that man, Deeks… Tell her what kind of business you have with an infamous drug dealer…" he paused, disgusted by the appearance of a man he considered a friend, a part of their dysfunctional family. "Tell her!" he yelled, angrily.

Deeks didn't have the courage to raise his head, the trembling of his hands increased and cold shivers ran down his spine.

"I… I don't understand," Kensi moved her gaze from her partner to Callen and then to Sam. A tight knot clenched her stomach. "Deeks, talk to me… tell me something." But she didn't get any answer.

"Well, since you don't want to say anything, I'll do it…" Callen started looking at Kensi, too mad at the blond detective to even lay his eyes on him. "That man is Rolando Ramirez, a drug dealer who had a deal running with our deceased Petty Officer Dave Randall. We interrogated him and even if he's not our killer, he might have some interesting information for us. We found out that he received a lot of calls from the same number over the last few months, the same number belonging to a person who called him and met him last night… this man…" With a theatrical move he pressed a button on the controller and the video feed from the back of The Agua Caliente started playing.

Kensi watched it with her heart beating madly in her chest. She saw Ramirez beating the other man, giving him the little packet containing the drug, but she couldn't understand how all of this was related to her partner. She was getting a bit restless, ready to say something to the two senior agents, when finally, the man revealed his face, right in front of the camera… No! It was impossible… no… "Deeks…" her voice was feeble, almost inaudible, veiled with sadness.

"So Deeks, tell us… how does it feel being so high? When did it start? After working in that undercover assignment? After the Weigman's case? Come on, man… don't be shy…" Sam moved even closer to the cop, pushing his shoulder, pressing on him, poking and verbally attacking him with not so veiled irony, mostly with anger, with disgust… with disappointment.

Callen stopped the video, but Deeks' face was clear in sight, even if he had tried to hide behind the hoodie.

Kensi felt the tears forming in her eyes and her heart went to pieces. She couldn't believe it, even if she was still staring at the screen. How could she be so blind not to see it? Now everything was clearer to her. His swift mood changing, the trembling, the disheveled appearance, the weight loss… everything, sadly, made sense.

The ex-Seal continued in his task, trying to get the cop to talk. "Come on, Deeks. Tell us, how do you feel when the drug pumps through your veins, when your brain starts traveling, when all of your body is…"

"Shut up." Deeks murmured, but Sam didn't stop, touching him, pushing him. "Shut up." Deeks raised his voice, but once again the ex-Seal continued what he was doing until the cop exploded. "Shut up!" he yelled, pushing the big man away with all of his strength.

"You little piece of shit! How could you do that? How could you betray us in this way? Damn it… how could you do this to yourself?" Sam shouted furiously, resisting the urge to hit the blond cop.

"Always judging the rest of the world, aren't you, Sam? Always ready to spit on everything and everyone who doesn't live up your expectations… what a hypocrite! You know nothing about me, Sam. You never did!" The cop's eyes were cold and dark now, so different from his usual deep ocean blue "You're Mr. Navy Seal, the perfection personified. You never make mistakes... and you..." he pointed his gaze to Callen. "You're G. Callen, the living legend of NCIS!" He looked at Kensi but didn't have the courage to say anything about her, so he simply stared at her.

"Deeks, stop, now..." Callen intervened, moving a little closer. "Before it's too late."

"Too late for what? You never trusted me completely, I was never enough for you. I am just a stupid cop!" Deeks' voice was sharp like a knife and unusually low.

"You stupid idiot!" Sam lost his control for a second and punched the cop, catching him by surprise and sending him to the floor. "We trusted you! We trusted you out in the field, having Kensi's back and ours... and look at what you did! How long has this been going on? Do you have any idea of what kind of risk you put her in? You idiot! If you had a problem, you should have come to us..."

Deeks' reaction was not the one they expected because he wiped away the blood from his split lip and started laughing, a creepy and deep laugh that chilled everyone's bones. "Oh yes, as you've always helped me when I needed help... you know how hypocritical you are, Sam? You all are... you always stick together, but when I am the one who needs help, all I can hear are excuses..."

"That is not fair, Deeks..." Kensi finally managed to say, with tears in her eyes. She walked towards him, looking for a touch, a contact. She still couldn't believe what she was hearing. Who was this man in front of her? This was not her partner, her goofy, caring and loyal best friend. "You know that I was always there for you."

He wriggled from her attempt to lay a hand on his shoulder, stepping back. His eyes were locked on hers and for a moment, Kensi saw something in them, something that was not anger, was not hatred, but fear... and a deep sadness, loneliness. Deeks continued staring at her, unable to reply to her words.

"You're part of my team, Deeks. You..." Callen started, but once again, he was interrupted by the cop's steely glance.

"I am what? Part of your team?" he chuckled, ironically "You really deserve each other! You never appreciated anything I did. My ideas were just stupid, I was not trained enough, I was just an idiot who could distract people doing what I am more capable to do... making a fool of me. You never, and I say never, took me or my job seriously. I worked hard for years to be what I am, but you always despised me..." He was shaking now, violently and he had to stop talking to collect himself.

"You know what, Deeks? You are really making a fool of you," the team leader said, venomously.

"As always…" the cop insisted on the same topic, but it was clear that he was slowly losing it. His trembling increased and he seemed on the edge of fainting. His forehead was sweaty and his eyes slightly unfocused.

"Oh shut up, Deeks! Stop crying like a whiny baby! No one forced you to become like this… no one forced you to take that shit! It was your choice… Face it, Deeks. You became a bloody junkie, because you wanted. Because you chose the easy way to face your problems!" Sam snapped, irritated by Deeks' behavior, by his trying to sound like a victim, even if he was behaving like an asshole.

"And what do you know about it, Sam? You don't have any idea… you really don't have any idea…" the blond detective's voice lowered again and it was filled with venom. "You can't even start imagining what I went through, what I had to see and do." Tears formed in his eyes.

"But we could have helped you, Deeks. Why didn't you come to me?" Kensi found the courage to talk, still too shocked by the revelation.

"And what could you have done? Pity me? I am so sick of this, Kensi… Too sick of people judging me, ready to spit on me for everything!" There was a lot of anger in his words, but mostly disappointment. Only Kensi could hear a high dose of sorrow, because she knew him too well, better than anyone else. This was the reason why it hurt her so much. She had hoped that whenever he needed help or support, he would come to her, but this hadn't happened. A tight knot clenched her stomach at the thought.

"Oh stop feeling sorry for yourself! If there's someone who's pitying you, it's just you, Deeks!" Callen couldn't stand this any longer.

As a reaction to the last sentence, Deeks first smiled, curving his lips in a devilish grin, then launched himself against the team leader, trying to punch him, but Sam's intervention and his poor condition didn't allow him to reach his goal. He stumbled on his feet and fell to the ground. Anger coursed through every cell of his body and he tried to stand up, attempting again to hit Callen or Sam.

"Enough!" A firm and steady voice resounded in the room, silencing everyone. They all knew to whom it belonged.

The cop wriggled from the ex-Seal's grip and moved towards the wall, looking for its support since his legs were shaking and were barely holding him up. His eyes were cold and sent daggers towards the two senior agents.

"I said, enough, Mr. Deeks," Hetty repeated, with an even steadier voice. "I think, it's better if you leave right now. I fear that there are some matters that we better discuss in private, but not now. Only when you are calmer."

"Oh come, Hetty. If you want to fire me, do it. Isn't it what everyone wants? To get rid of me?" A cunning smirk appeared on Deeks' face, but his eyes were dark. "I think this is your great chance to get rid of me, finally! Prepare your best bottle of scotch and celebrate!"

"I said, you better leave, Mr. Deeks," the Operations Manager insisted, without even looking at the cop.

But Deeks didn't seem to care anymore about anyone and continued talking in his mocking tone, "Come on, be brave, tell me I'm fired."

"Out of here. NOW!" Hetty lost her patience and released her disappointment, yelling at the blond haired detective, losing her composure for the first time in years. "Get out of this place, Mr. Deeks. I'll be sure to end your liaison duty immediately and to fulfill all the necessary papers by the end of the day. I will return your belongings to LAPD tomorrow morning." She turned to look at him, locking her eyes on his.

"At last you did it." the cop smirked, before straightening up his jacket and moving to walk away. "You're finally happy. You made it. You weeded out the shame in the team. Go on and have a party now!"

Silence fell in the boatshed as they watched him unsteadily approach the door, before Hetty called him back. "And Mr. Deeks…"

Kensi was sure she noticed a little twitch in his shoulders, a sudden movement, like he was expecting them to ask him to come back. Like all of this was just an act and that he was just making up a big show, trying to be defiant, but deep inside he really wanted to come back to them. She knew his body language, the way he moved, the way he behaved. Even if this was not the Deeks she remembered and cared for, she could recognize those signs.

The cop, slowly stopped and turned around, but didn't say a word.

"I warmly advise you to find professional help, Mr. Deeks," the Operations Manager's words were caring and sincere, but then her tone changed, her eyes became colder. "And be sure not to get close to me, to anyone on my team or to the Mission, because I won't be very understanding…"

Deeks chuckled. He made a two finger salute and turned the knob, before walking out of the boatshed.

The atmosphere in the room was heavy and thick. No one dared to talk. All of them were affected by what had just happened. Kensi attempted to run after her partner, but Sam stopped her, holding her arm.

"I think you all have a job to do," Hetty said, unable to hide a little trembling in her voice. She wanted to keep her mask on, to appear strong and collected, but deep inside her heart was bleeding for a young man she had welcomed in her team, in her family. A young man that had betrayed her and everyone's trust. "Move, now." She walked outside and when she was finally alone, she leaned against the wall and barely held the tears. "Please, Mr. Deeks, take care of yourself." she whispered, sighing.

* * *

It was almost night when the three NCIS agents walked into the bullpen after taking care of Ramirez and all the papers necessary for his custody. No one dared to talk. During the day they had tried to keep their minds busy, avoiding the prickly subject. But coming back here, was another story. Conflicting feelings hit them in full force, emotions overwhelmed them.

Kensi stared at the empty desk and felt her heart skip a beat. How could she not notice? She was his partner, his best friend. And why didn't she see the signs? Maybe she simply didn't want to see them, blinded by her friendship, by her closeness to Deeks, by her affection towards her partner. She should have seen it coming. She should have seen his slow deterioration, his continuing shutting everything and everyone off, his progressing isolation from her and from the rest of the team. Taking a deep breath and sighing heavily, she sat down in her chair. Her eyes lost in the air, her expression blank.

Sam slammed his hand on his desk. His face couldn't hide his anger or his deep disappointment. "Did you see that? Did you see how he behaved? And the way he acted and talked to me, to us? Asshole! I can't believe I wasted so much time trying to like him, because I thought he was good for this team! And this is the way he pays us back!" In spite of all of his rage, there was a great sadness in his heart, because even if he would have never admitted it, Deeks had grown on him, more than he had ever imagined and had become part of his family, part of that restricted number of people the ex-Seal truly trusted. But now… after everything they found out, after what the cop said at the boatshed, there was only bitterness inside of him.

Callen was mad as well, mostly because he hadn't seen it coming. He was supposed to be the team leader. The one who knew everything about the people working with him, a great judge of character, someone who could read what was going inside a man's mind with just a glimpse. But with Deeks, he had failed, miserably. Deeks, with his big luggage of a life learnt on the streets of Los Angeles, with his great experience as undercover agent, had fooled him first and the whole team with him. Deeks with his insane behavior, with his pride that had forced him to face his problems alone, with his weaknesses, had sent their certainties to pieces, shattering the team. How did they get to this point? He truly didn't know and this hurt him, more than anything. His train of thoughts were interrupted by Nell and Eric's arrival.

"Hey guys, what happened? Is it true that Hetty sent him away?" Nell asked, more out of concern than out of curiosity.

"Yes, she did, and I can't say he didn't deserve it." Sam was the first to reply, but his voice betrayed him. "He acted like a complete idiot, speaking nonsense. He even tried to hit us!"

"What? Deeks? Are you serious?" Eric was shocked. He had always liked Deeks' laid back attitude and had enjoyed his company and their surf-talking. It was like they were talking about a stranger, not of someone with whom they had shared three years of their lives.

"Eric, people do weird things when they're not there with their minds and Deeks is not there right now," Callen said bitterly. "Do you really think that if he was thinking straight he would have used his own phone to make all of those calls to Ramirez?"

"There's no need to justify him or his actions! He decided to take that bloody shit and become a junkie, an addict! Come on, G... no one forced him to do anything... he chose it!" the ex-Seal once again slammed his fist on his desk.

"Stop it, Sam!" Kensi intervened for the first time, shaking herself. "You don't know what happened to him to make him do that... Deeks is too..." she couldn't go on.

"Oh come on, Kensi. Stop defending him. He ruined everything making that choice... there's nothing to defend anymore!"

"It's easy for you to say, Sam. You know, Deeks was right on one thing. You are always ready to judge him, without knowing anything about him..." The female agent got up and started walking away. "What would you do if it was Callen in that position? You'd do everything to help him because he's your partner, your friend."

"Kens, where are you going?" Callen called her before she could leave the bullpen.

"I'm going to do what a partner does... what a friend does. I'm going to talk to Deeks, because no matter what you think or no matter what you say, he's still my partner. He's still my friend." There was a great amount of sorrow in her voice and she seemed ready to fall to pieces at any moment. Kensi hated showing her weakness, her fragility, but in this moment she was not even able to fight it. She was just a woman worried for a very important person in her life and she couldn't hide it at all.

"He betrayed us, Kensi. Don't go there, you will only end up hurt. He will hurt you, just try to deal with it," insisted Sam, locking his gaze on hers.

"I might get hurt Sam, but he didn't betray us, he betrayed himself and this is what hurts me the most." With that, Kensi turned on her heels and with tears in her eyes, she walked away.

The senior agents and the techs remained silent until they heard the sound of the heavy door of the Mission close behind her.

"Do you think I need to go after her? She sounded so... un-Kensi like." Nell asked, looking for advice from the agents.

"No, let her go... she needs to face it on her own," Callen sighed heavily, passing a hand over his face. "You know how she gets when it comes to Deeks."

"She will come back to us with a broken heart, G. You know that he will hurt her. You saw his eyes back at the boatshed, you saw the way he was looking at us. All I could see was hatred." Sam stated firmly, lowering his voice as he talked to his partner. "We shouldn't let her go, this is a big mistake."

"Sam, you know how much I respect you, but you know better than me that trying to stop Kensi is a bad mistake. If she has something in her mind, no one will be able to stop her. No one!" The team leader's eyes sparkled with a mix of determination and concern. "And this is about Deeks. If you stop her, she will hate you for the rest of your life. Let her do what she feels she has to do. It will help her face all of this and its consequences. At least she won't have any regrets."

"Yeah, but maybe she will get hurt and she doesn't deserve to be hurt, not because of this. Not because of Deeks..." Sam's words fell gravely in the air and, once again, silence engulfed the bullpen.

Callen let all of his frustrations go, passing a hand over his head. He couldn't deny that he was mad at Deeks, but probably not for the same reason Sam was angry. He was furious because Deeks didn't come to them, asking for help, but he fell into a black hole, alone. They were supposed to be close to a family, but maybe this was not entirely true. Maybe the cop didn't feel this way. Maybe they never treated him like he was really a part of their family. Gah, this was getting too bad, simply too bad. "We better go back to work. We still have a case to solve, but I think it's time we go home now. It's late."

"But Callen, what about Kensi... and Deeks?" Eric's eyes landed on the two vacant desks and he bit his lip nervously. He had a feeling that something broke today, that a perfect and oiled mechanism was destroyed. Things were going to be different from now on, but this didn't mean they were going to be better.

"Miss Blye will be back soon and about Mr. Deeks, I will make it my personal responsibility to collect his belongings as soon as you all leave this room and I will send them to LAPD. Detective Marty Deeks is not our liaison officer anymore and rest assured, that after cleaning his desk, I will do my best to hire a substitute." Hetty showed up out of nowhere holding a paper box and said firmly, "And as Mr. Callen stated, it's better if you all leave now. We will see you tomorrow morning, ready to work on this case."

Everyone realized that even behind the formality of her words, of her sentences, the Operations Manager was pretty unsettled. For sure, she never expected anything like this. She never expected to fire Deeks for this particular and serious reason. There was a trembling in her voice that was completely unnatural and uncharacteristic.

One by one, Eric, Nell and Sam left the bullpen, but Callen simply stood there, looking at Hetty skeptically.

"Was it really necessary to send him away like that? To erase him from our lives?" he wondered gravely. "You know that Kensi is not going to take it lightly. You have reflected on the fact that maybe we may lose her as well?"

"It was more than necessary, Mr. Callen. What Mr. Deeks did is not acceptable and his behavior today is the proof that he has lost his mind completely!" Her expression was tense, like she was really struggling with her emotions. "And we won't lose Miss Blye. I'm pretty certain. Now if you excuse me, I have work to do. You go home and rest. It's been a long day."

The team leader observed her intently, realizing that he had never seen her so shaken. Never. But still he thought that maybe she had overreacted, probably because she had never felt so betrayed by someone she trusted and believed in like she did with Deeks. "Do you need a little bit of help?"

Hetty looked at him, inhaling deeply. "Thank you, Mr. Callen, but I made this mess and I will put an end to it." With that, she moved towards Deeks' desk and started collecting his stuff.

Callen shook his head, closing his eyes. "Damn it!" he exclaimed, before leaving.

Once he was out of the Mission, the Operations Manager sank into a chair, exhausted. "You can say that out loud, Mr. Callen. Damn it!"

* * *

Ouch... :(

I know I'm bad... but don't hate me that much.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to whoever is still with me. I know that after the last chapter is not so easy. I would like to thank, since I can't reply to them directly, all the guests who left me a review.

And obviously big shout to Xwing12 for her help and support.

Ok, I better shut up now. Time for another chapter.

* * *

Going Under - Chapter 4

After walking out of the Mission, Kensi had thought that coming here was a good idea, but now that she was standing in front of the door of Deeks' apartment, she was not so sure anymore. What was she going to say? And mostly, what was he going to say? She still had, stuck in her mind, his face at the boatshed, his expression... his cold and, at the same time, vacant eyes. No, that was not her partner. That was not the Deeks she cared for, she respected, the Deeks that meant so much to her. That was a stranger and she was determined to find out what had made him change so rapidly and so deeply. Deeks didn't do drugs. Deeks didn't talk so harshly, not to his friends, to the people that had become a family to him.

Taking a long intake of air, she knocked at the door and she was not surprised when no one answered.

"Deeks, I know you're in there. Open up!" she said with her most steady tone, allowing her voice to have a caring note, though. She didn't want to push him to shut her off. "Come on, partner... it's just me..." she added, more gently.

Kensi heard muffled footsteps approaching and braced herself for what was coming, but she was not ready for what her eyes were going to see.

Deeks opened the door and without even looking at her, walked away, towards his couch, cleaning the table in front of it. The apartment was almost in darkness, the shutters were closed and it was a real mess, almost messier than her own house. Her partner had always been anal when it came to being clean and tidy, so seeing the place in this condition shocked her. There were objects scattered around, thrown away, with no logic. Clothes laid in the most unthinkable places along with boxes of take-away food or pizza. There was an awful smell filling the air and, for sure, the apartment hadn't seen any light or gotten any air in days. And, there was no sign of Monty anywhere.

Kensi hated herself because she hadn't seen it before. It had been a while since she had visited Deeks' place and she felt guilty about it. A lot. "Deeks…" she started trying to get closer to him. "Where's… where's Monty?"

"With a friend." He cut her short as he didn't care at all about this matter, then he changed the subject abruptly, "What do you want, Kensi?" he asked, clearly not wanting her here. He was wearing a thick sweatshirt, but he couldn't stop shaking. His hair was stuck at his sweaty forehead and his stubble was longer than usual.

What shocked Kensi the most though were her partner's eyes, blue bloodshot eyes, that were not able to hide the pain and the sorrow. "Don't do this to me, Deeks… I'm here to help you. You know it…"

"I don't need your help, Kens, your or anyone else's. I'm good." He moved towards the couch and sank into it.

"Oh, yes, I can see how good you are! Hell Deeks, look at this place!" she yelled, losing a bit of her patience. She couldn't accept to see him like this. Her voice softened, when she added, "Look at you…"

"Oh right! Perfect… absolutely perfect! Really, Kensi? And you said you were here to help! You're exactly like the others, like everyone else! Judging is so damn easy, isn't it?" he snapped as his tone became venomous. "Maybe… maybe it's better if you leave…"

"You can't be serious, Deeks! This is not you… what happened to you?" Tears formed in Kensi's eyes, but she tried to hold them with everything she could. She didn't want to break down in front of him. Not now. "Why… why didn't you come to me? Why didn't you ask for my help? You know I'm your friend…"

Deeks got up abruptly, passing his trembling hand through his hair. "Go away, Kens… just get out of here and leave me alone."

"No, I'm not leaving, until you tell me what happened." she insisted, moving a step towards him. "Until you let me help you…" Her hand moved to his forearm, her fingers brushed the fabric of his sleeve.

The reaction she got was completely unexpected. Deeks tried to wriggle from her touch, with rage, with unnatural fury, but Kensi didn't let him go. She held on the sleeve that rolled up, exposing his arm to her eyes.

Her face paled at the sight. Needle marks adorned his forearm and the crook of his elbow and only in that moment, the realization hit her like a truck. It was true, everything was sadly true. Her partner, her best friend had become an addict… how could it be possible?

He retreated his arm and put the sleeve down. "As I said, Kensi. You're like the others…" he murmured in a mix of anger and disappointment.

She shook her head, but words didn't come out easily. Her throat was dry. "But… how? You…" A bitter smile curved her lips, remembering that time when he had to be injected with the small pox vaccine and he fainted. Deeks was scared, well mostly terrified by needles and he couldn't stand drugs. "Why, Deeks? Tell me why?"

"Why? This life, Kensi, is a real shit! You can't even imagine how evil people can be, what kind of horrible things I… I had to…" his voice broke and for a moment he couldn't go on. He sat on the couch, bracing himself, hoping to calm the trembling, hoping to warm himself up. In vain. "You don't have any idea… you really don't!"

"Oh don't treat me like an idiot, Deeks! I see the horror of this world every day. Don't play this card with me, because it doesn't work!" she replied harshly, realizing that maybe it was not the smartest move.

"No, you really don't know anything, Kensi! You don't know what it means doing something you always hated, seeing things you can't stomach without being able to stop them. You don't have the slightest idea of what it means being someone else, every day, every minute of your shitty life. Someone you hate with all of yourself, someone who you would like to kill… You can't imagine what it means acting like you don't care, like you're the worst of the scumbags to keep your cover, to save your ass… to save the operation!" His eyes were sparkling with anger and desperation.

His words touched her deeply, because sadly she could only imagine what he was telling her. She never did that kind of long term undercover operations, so he was right. She didn't know anything. Deeks was one of the most caring and loyal people she had ever met, a man who would do anything for any other person. She never realized how tough it was probably for him to forget about his nature and became a bad guy… She never realized until it was too late. Until now… Until now that everything went to hell. "But why didn't you tell me anything? You know I would have been here for you…"

For a moment, his expression softened and Kensi could see in his eyes a glimpse of the Deeks she remembered. But sadly, it didn't last long. A shadow darkened his face and he was gone, again. "Oh don't be stupid! You would have never understood… you would have judged me, exactly as Sam and Callen did! Since day one, you tried to show everyone that you were better than me, that you out-top me. I have never been equal, to any of you… you were the top special agents and I was a cop, I was the one who couldn't do any of your frakkin' things. I was just a stupid, shaggy haired surfer who wanted to play cop!" He stared at her with cold eyes. "I saved you the trouble to find an excuse to avoid me…"

Kensi couldn't believe what she was hearing. After three years, she thought they had a very good partnership. Deeks, in her eyes, was a great person, a man she trusted with all of herself. He was her best friend and well, maybe more. But she had been so wrong… so bloody wrong. She felt the tears forming and in spite of all of her efforts, this time she was not able to hold them. A sudden fury mounted inside of her and without realizing it, she slapped him, hard. Harder than she even imagined. "You… you're a fucking son of a bitch! An idiot! An asshole! You had people who cared for you, people who welcomed you in their family and you threw them away like they were trash!" she took a deep breath to control her emotions but at this point it was almost impossible "You know what, Deeks? You deserve it. You deserve all of this. You deserve being alone, you deserve being a bloody junkie. You did all of this to yourself, don't blame other people, don't blame the work. Just blame yourself… and yourself only! You always said you wanted to feel like you belonged… well, you wasted your only chance to do it. And now, you're on your own…" She hesitated before continuing, her chest was heavy and her heart was breaking. "I truly hope you can find the courage to let someone help you, because you need it, Deeks, and in spite of everything, I still care a lot for you. But… but you're alone now…"

"Get out of here!" Deeks told her firmly and when she didn't move at all, simply locking her gaze on him, he yelled, "Get the hell of here! I don't need you or any of you!"

Kensi bit her lip, hoping to maintain her composure, but she was aware that she was failing. His words hurt, hurt more than she wanted to let on. Casting one last glance at him, she turned on her heels and walked away, closing the door behind her . She heard the sound of furniture being thrashed, of object thrown against the wall or to the floor. She leaned against the wall, slowly sliding down, sitting down heavily. She took her knees to her chest and started sobbing compulsively, completely unaware that after the storm had stopped inside Deeks' apartment, he was doing exactly the same, leaning his forehead against the closed door, lightly punching it. Crying desperately.

* * *

The morning after, Sam and Callen watched Kensi storm into the bullpen, lay her bag on her desk and then head directly to the gym. They didn't need to think twice about the reason of her behavior.

"I told you, G! I told you she was going to get hurt!" the ex-Seal said, attempting to keep his anger at bay. "I told you it was a bad idea allowing her to go and see him!"

"Sam don't, please… not now. You know better than me that if we tried to stop her, we would have obtained the opposite result. Kensi is too proud… too stubborn!" Callen's eyes were still following their younger teammate as she rushed towards the gym. He was feeling a sense of powerless like he hadn't felt in ages. He wanted to help her so badly, but on the other hand, he knew that she had to do this, that she had to face Deeks alone. The cop was her partner, her best friend and Callen was aware that she would have done everything to help him or to make him reason. Obviously, things didn't go as she had planned or desired.

"Oh hell, G!" Sam got up moving towards the door, ready to leave the Mission.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" the team leader asked puzzled, a bit afraid of his partner's reaction.

"There's an asshole of a cop out there who needs some teaching regarding how to treat girls…" The big man punched the palm of his hand, releasing a bit of the tension, imagining punching Deeks straight in the face, a little harder this time though.

"Oh come on, Sam. You know that this is not necessary…"

"I don't give a damn about what's necessary, G. Deeks hurt Kensi. I warned him once… If he hurt her, I would take care of him, personally!" Sam stated gravely.

"Sam, Kensi can take care of herself. I'm sure that she wouldn't have any trouble kicking Deeks straight in his jewels if she thought it was the right thing to do." Callen was trying to stay calm and collected, mostly because he didn't want Sam to do anything stupid, but deep inside, he was really mad as well. And obviously, he was worried for Kensi.

"I suggest you follow your partner's advice, Mr. Hanna, and come back here." Hetty's voice resounded clear in the bullpen, startling the ex-Seal who, reluctantly, turned on his heels and walked back to his desk. "I think you did the right thing, Mr. Hanna and if I remember correctly, you and Mr. Callen have a case to work on."

"And what about Kensi?" wondered Sam, with a hint of sarcasm.

"Don't worry, I will let Miss Blye blow off some steam and then I'll talk to her." The Operations Manager nodded to Callen, considering the conversation closed. "Now, as I said, you have a job to do."

She hadn't finished the sentence as Nell and Eric joined them climbing down the stairs. Their expressions were grave and didn't look very promising.

"Oh Miss Jones, Mr. Beale, I hope you have something interesting about our case. Mr. Hanna and Mr. Callen need something to focus on at this very moment," Hetty smiled, tilting her head with a smirk.

The two techs exchanged an embarrassed look before Eric found the courage to talk. "Well, we… we kind of have something, but I… we don't know exactly how this might be related to the case or not…"

"Why don't you tell us what you found and we'll judge if it is useful?" Callen sighed heavily. He recognized the tech's expression, the same expression Eric had when he was going to give them bad news.

Nell took a deep breath and finally started, "Well, we… Hetty told us to run a search on all the people involved in the case, through their finances, credit cards, bank accounts and all…" She cast a glance at the Operations Manager as she was looking for an approval, then nodded.

"Nell, come on, spit it out!" Sam was a bit exasperated by the waiting.

"During our research, we came across Deeks' finances and… well, it seems that he is navigating dangerous waters, literally. His bank account is close to zero and there are a lot of continuous withdrawals, starting from at least six months ago…" the petite analyst finally explained, not liking a word she was saying.

"Six months?" Callen asked a bit shocked.

"Yes," Eric murmured "And we didn't see it. We never realized he was in trouble…"

"Eric, Deeks was not in trouble! Deeks chose to get that shit! He decided to become a bloody junkie! He is not in trouble… Someone who's risking his life for other people is in trouble. We are in trouble when we go in the streets chasing a criminal or a terrorist! Deeks is not. Period." Sam's expression was hard and determined. His words were filled with disappointment and fury. "He is simply a son of a bitch who betrayed everything and everyone…" He was still talking when Kensi showed up behind the two techs. There was signs on her face that she couldn't hide. Her eyes were red and puffed, but she tried to be strong and not to show any weakness in front of her friends.

"Kensi, hey…" Nell told her, seeing her move slowly towards her desk. "How… how are you feeling?"

The female agent, sat in her chair, biting her lip, nervously, closing her eyes as she wanted to shut everyone off, but then she gave them her two-words famous line, "I'm fine…" and they all knew she wasn't. "Can we simply forget about him? He made his choices, wrong choices, obviously, but… he's not our responsibility anymore. So can we just focus on the case?"

"That is exactly what we were doing, Kensi. Analyzing the background of all the people involved in this case, and whether we like it or not, Deeks is involved! He met up with one of our suspects…" the ex-Seal stated, locking his dark eyes on Kensi's, trying to figure her out. He wanted to know if she was up for the case.

"Stop treating me like I'm made of crystal, Sam! All of you stop looking at me like I can't hold myself! Deeks is… was my partner, but I'm not responsible for every idiocy he does!" She wanted the others to believe her, but her words didn't sound very convincing, not even to her own ears. "But… we all know that he is not capable to kill a man in cold blood. He would never do that…"

"Kensi, I… I have a vague idea of how you're feeling, but…" Callen exchanged a wary glance with his partner before finishing his speech. "Desperate people can do desperate things… and you saw him, he looked more than desperate…"

"Callen, you can't even imagine how I'm feeling," Kensi replied, her jaw clenched tightly. "You can't imagine how mad, angry, furious… disappointed or… hell, how hurt I am, but I know Deeks. I know him probably better than anyone else. No matter how desperate he might be, he's still a cop, to the heart. We better not forget about that." She sighed heavily, taking a long deep breath. "Now, can we go back to our case and forget about him?"

Everyone in the room looked at her like she was an alien. They all knew she was trying to hold herself together, to focus on the job and not to go to pieces, but they could see that she was on the verge of breaking up.

Hetty was the first one to react. "Miss Blye is correct. We need to focus on our case and find what's behind Petty Officer Randall's death." She nodded towards Kensi and then turned her attention to the two techs. "Miss Jones, Mr. Beale, did you find anything on his background? On his friends? According to Ramirez, he had some sort of connection with someone in law enforcement. Did you find anything about it?"

Nell and Eric looked at each other, nodding. "Not yet, but we're still looking," Nell said.

"Good, very good. Continue on." The Operations Manager pointed her finger at the two senior agents. "I think you can go to LAPD and find everything you can about the Weigman's case and about the drug involved. That would be a good starting point. Call Lieutenant Bates. He can direct you to the officer in charge of that case. Tell him I told you to contact him," a little smile curved her lips. "I'm sure he will be very happy to help you…"

"Hetty, what about me?" Kensi asked, feeling a bit left out. She didn't want to admit it, but it was strange not to have Deeks at her side. Hell, she felt lonely without him. She had been so used to his constant presence, to his scent pervading her nostrils, to his voice… to him, that a sense of void grew inside of her, making her uneasy and deeply sad.

"You, my dear, will take a shower and then I will offer you a cup of tea…" Without adding anything else, Hetty smiled and walked away, leaving everyone startled, as always.

Sensing the awkwardness of the situation, Callen took a deep breath. "Ok, Sam. Let's see what LAPD has to say about this matter." He silently nodded to Kensi, making sure she was ok. "We'll keep you in the loop, Kens."

The female agent gave him a faint half-smile. "Thanks." And with that, she left as well, headed to the restroom.

When all the agents were gone, Eric stared at Nell, frowning.

"What's up?" she wondered, puzzled. It was rare to see him so sad.

"Will we ever be happy again? I… I feel like something has broken and it's impossible to put the pieces together…" he murmured with a feeble, concerned voice. "When we lost Dom, I thought we reached rock bottom, then Deeks came on board… you too and things got better. We started to smile again, to live again, but now…"

She put a hand over his forearm, gently squeezing it. "We will raise again and I'm sure we'll find a way to put this team together. Don't lose your hope…"

Eric sighed heavily. "I… I'll try, but some days are harder than others. Some situations hit you harder than others."

Nell looked straight at her friend, smiling kindly. "We will make it, Eric. I know we will. Now, what do you think if we start doing our job?" A cunning grin curved her lips. "Of course after sneaking out to get some Oreo's…"

The tech burst out laughing, finally a little bit relieved. "I would love it…"

"Just remember the rules, Mr. Beale. No food in Ops!" Hetty's voice resounded loud and clear in the bullpen even if she was not in sight.

Eric tensed. "Oh, yes, of course Hetty," he talked to the air, looking for his boss' face that was nowhere to be found.

Nell shook her head amused and took him by the sleeve of his flowered shirt. "Come with me, braveheart! First we eat, then, we go to Ops. Ok?"

He bowed his head, a bit ashamed because of his irrational fear of Hetty. "Sounds good," he stated finally, releasing the breath he was holding.

It was Nell's turn to burst out laughing. "Let's go then…"

* * *

The woman was lying in bed, naked, after a rough night of wild sex with a man, who had already left, and who she didn't even remember. It was a kind of habit for her and, man, she really enjoyed it. She picked up a cigarette and lit it, inhaling the acrid smoke that filled her mouth and throat, closing her deep black eyes, amused.

She was still smoking when she decided it was time to get up and take a shower. She dragged her gorgeous naked body towards the bathroom and right when she was ready to enjoy the hot water, her phone rang.

She wanted to ignore it, but she had the impression, the distinct feeling, it might be important and probably business related. Reluctantly, she walked back towards the bedroom and sat on the bed.

She noticed the ID of the caller and she couldn't hide her annoyance. "What do you want? You know I don't want to be disturbed at this time of the day!" her voice was harsh and cold.

"Sorry, I… I know… I didn't want to disturb you as well, but maybe I have some, possibly, good news!" A deep male voice, a bit shaken, told her through the phone. He was struggling not to freak out, because the woman had this effect on him. She put him on the edge. Always.

"I'm waiting," she added, showing no emotions at all.

"We might have a new resource. Someone who could help us to retrieve and sell our goods. Someone pretty desperate…" The man was hoping to catch her interest.

"Look, you made a mistake once, hiring Randall. The idiot wanted to fool us and got away with the drug and the money! He wanted to start his own business. You made a mistake and I had to put up with it! I don't want to repeat the same mistake…" She paused and the silence was simply oppressive. "You better not repeat the mistake, because next time, I won't be so understanding with you. So be prepared…"

The man swallowed hard before continuing. "Trust me, this time there won't be any mistake. And what I am offering you it's a very good opportunity… I'm not joking!"

The woman sensed something in the man's voice that tickled her curiosity. "I'm all ears…"

"I've got the right man for you. A man who has connections with Federal Agents and who was involved with that stock of heroin Randall promised you."

"This is getting interesting - I admit it. Who is this man?" she wondered, biting her lip and passing her hand over her bare breast, feeling the excitement growing inside of her as always happened to her when she had the clear sensation that she was doing a great business deal.

There was a little note of satisfaction in the man's voice as he spoke, sensing that the woman seemed interested in his proposal which would lead him to get a lot of money. "He's a cop who worked on the Weigman's case, the one Randall talked to us about. A cop who was working for a Federal Agency…"

"A cop? Are you serious? Why do we need a cop in this? You're not trying to fuck me, are you? Because you know what's waiting for you if you do that!"

"No… no. I… you know I would never do that…" the man babbled, probably sweating profusely. "The little bastard is completely fucked up! He's a junkie who will do anything for a shot! He has spent all of his money to get his daily dose of junk but he is literally penniless right now. I reckon he would do anything to get some extra cash… even sell his own mother! He just betrayed his team and the people who worked with him for three years…"

The woman was definitely intrigued and her knowing hand started touching her skin from her chest to even her most intimate body parts, arousing herself. She felt the wave of pleasure engulfing her, overwhelming her. Yes, this was good, this was very good, she could feel it. "What's his name?"

The man grinned knowing that he had finally reached his goal, hearing the little moans coming from the other end of the phone. She was clearly interested in his proposal and this was going to make him rich. Soon, very soon, his bank account would be filled with a lot of money that she would give him as a reward for his good job. He was still smiling when he finally said, "Deeks. Detective Marty Deeks. LAPD."

* * *

I don't know about you, but I smell trouble ;)


	5. Chapter 5

As always a big thank you to everyone who left a review, followed and favorited this story. I might sound like a broken record but it means a lot to me.

And another one to Xwing12, because I'd be lost without her precious help.

Now, time for a new chapter.

* * *

Going Under - Chapter 5

Kensi watched as Hetty diligently prepared her tea, choosing the perfect blend, letting it rest for the right amount of time and finally, pouring it into a cup that the diminutive woman offered her. The care Hetty put in every gesture was simply mesmerizing and captivating. It was more like a ritual than a habit, something to enjoy as much as drinking the tea itself.

"This is for you, Miss Blye." The Operations Manager handed the fuming cup to her agent. "It's an old blend of Green tea that comes directly from China. I have a friend who is always willing to send me some for special occasions. It is known for its relaxing and calming effect. I reckon it's the perfect blend for you in these days, my dear."

Kensi took the cup, but immediately put it on the table. She had never been too fond of tea, preferring coffee or better hot cocoa, but she was aware that the tea was just Hetty's pretext to talk to her. Alone. "I'm fine, Hetty. I don't need your lecturing or your… counseling."

"You're not here for any of them. You're here to enjoy a cup of tea with another woman. There's nothing wrong with that," the diminutive woman flashed one of her infamous smirks, sipping her own tea.

Kensi bowed her head, biting her lower lip and playing nervously with her hands, but even if she wanted to talk, words would have died in her throat.

"Kensi, I need to know if you're up for the case, if your mind is focused enough on the job and not on your partner." Hetty studied her young agent behind her glasses, registering every flinch, every little twitch that could gave her an idea of Kensi's mental state. There was no need for a psychologist to see how distressed the younger woman was or how on the edge she was.

"He's not my partner anymore," the female agent said, surprised by the harsh tone she used. "After you fired him."

A little smile curved the Operations Manager's thin lips. "Fair enough," she paused knowing that the subject was going to be tough for her agent to face. "But do you think I should have done something differently? That I should have asked him to stay, after the way he behaved at the boatshed, after everything he said to your teammates? Do you think I've been too hard on him?"

"No!" came Kensi's quick and instinctive answer. She realized that she needed to be more rational, not allowing her sentiments and her emotions to overwhelm her and to cloud her judgment. "No, he… he deserved it. He was a real… a real…"

"Asshole? That's the word you were looking for?" suggested Hetty.

Kensi couldn't suppress a chuckle. "Yeah, a big one." She then became more serious as a shadow veiled her mismatched eyes. "How… how did we not see it, Hetty? How did we miss that he was going through such a rough period, that he was slowly destroying himself?" A lonely tear rolled down her cheek, but she wiped it away immediately, hating herself for showing her weakness, her deepest feelings. "I mean, I… I can understand that Sam or Callen didn't see it, but what about me? He's my partner, my friend… probably the best friend I have ever had in my whole life and I let him down. I… missed it, Hetty, and I shouldn't have missed it."

"Kensi, sometimes it's hard to see things clearly when your emotions are involved. They can cloud your mind and blind your eyes. You see only what you want to see. That's what has happened to you. You were so focused on seeing only the part of Mr. Deeks you wanted to see. The side that made you comfortable, that kept you safe. You two were so close that you took some things for granted, maybe because you couldn't accept that something was wrong with him, because it would have broken the equilibrium between the two of you, moving you out of your comfort zone." The Operations Manager moved her attention to her tea and sighed heavily. "But for me it should have been different. I am the head of this team, of this office. I should see things other people can't see, but I didn't notice anything. If there's someone at fault here, my dear, well, that person would be me and me only…"

Kensi stared at Hetty, in silence, seeing the struggle in the diminutive woman, something she had never witnessed so openly. The Operations Manager was very fond of Deeks and she never hid it, so this situation had probably touched her deeply. More than she wanted to let on. The female agent bowed her head. "He treated me better than I ever treated him, Hetty. He has never been rude to me, never, even in the worst situations. He has always been more than understanding. Even when I mistreated him or not trusted him. But yesterday… he… he yelled at me, sending me away. He shut me off like he has never done before. And it hurts…" Her last words were nothing more than a whisper. "Do you think that… that he will ever be back? Back to… being normal, to… being Deeks…"

"That is a tough question, Miss Blye. I think that the first step of the healing process is acceptance and I reckon Mr. Deeks is not there yet. Until he admits that he needs help, it will be hard to do anything for him."

"You haven't given up on him, have you?" Kensi asked, not surprised at all by Hetty's reaction to the whole situation.

"Have you, Kensi?" the Operations Manager wondered back, tilting her head to one side, lifting her eyebrows.

"I… I don't know. I simply don't want to… to get hurt…" the younger woman admitted without even realizing. Words slipped out of her mouth almost without control.

Hetty's lips curved into a little smile. "That is not what I asked you."

Kensi closed her eyes, taking long breaths to collect her thoughts and not to be completely overwhelmed by her feelings. "A part of myself would like to punch him until he is unconscious, because he was stupid enough to do such an idiotic thing, to ruin his life… and mine," once again she whispered, showing her weakness, her true sentiments. "But another part of myself can't stop thinking that I should do something more, that I should be with him, putting some sense into that thick head of his, that I should help him… damn it, Hetty! He's my friend, the best friend I have ever had… I don't have a switch to turn my feelings off at will!"

"Your feelings?" Hetty knew she was pushing her agent, that they were walking on a dangerous territory, but Kensi needed to open up or she could go crazy, especially now.

A hysterical laugh resounded in the Operations Manager's office. "Feelings… tell me you don't know what I'm talking about…" the younger woman said, rhetorically.

"I know how much you care about each other. How strong your bond still is. I know that, right now, you're confused and mostly angry. But I also know that you won't give up easily on him… Sooner or later Mr. Deeks will come to his senses and will come to you, because no matter how damaged he is, no matter how messed up he is, of one thing I'm sure, he cares deeply for you, more than he cares for himself…" Hetty got up and moved towards her agent, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Go home, Miss Blye. Get some rest and I'm sure, tomorrow, your mind will be clearer. You still have a case to work on."

"So… you're not grounding me?" Kensi couldn't hide her surprise. She thought that her boss would have forced her to step away from the investigation.

"There's no need. Go now… I know you need time on your own."

Kensi felt a sudden wave of sadness filling her soul and even though she put a lot of effort in not doing it, her eyes became teary. She bit her lip, more nervously than before. She didn't want to cry. She didn't want to allow, once again, her emotions to overcome her. _Damn you, Deeks!_ she thought, cursing herself because she had let him in deeply into her heart. She was not emotional, she was stronger than this, she was… Wonder Woman. His voice resounded in her mind and this made it even worse. "Do you think it will… it will get better? That maybe…" she was not able to finish her sentence. The words died in her throat.

Hetty gave her a sweet smile, squeezing the hand on her shoulder. "Go home, Miss Blye. See you tomorrow." She moved to her chair, silently telling Kensi that the conversation was over.

The young agent stood up, a bit unsteady and turned around to walk away, but she stopped abruptly. "Hetty…" she started.

"Yes, Miss Blye?"

"I'm glad you're not giving up on him either." Kensi nodded firmly and then left.

Hetty observed her with a relieved expression on her face. She closed her eyes, sighing, "Me too, Miss Blye. Me too."

* * *

Callen and Sam arrived at the precinct and followed the instruction Bates had given them. They found themselves in front of a flight of stairs that lead to the basement. They looked at each other, both furrowing their brows and then with puzzled expressions, they started to climb down.

"If Bates played us, I'm going to kill him!" the ex-Seal murmured shaking his head, very disappointed.

"Calm down, big guy. Look!" His partner indicated a door right in front of them. "Man of little faith…" he smirked, playfully.

"Well, after everything that has happened, you can't blame me for that!" Sam remarked drily, moving rapidly towards the door and knocking on it.

"Come in, it's open!" a muffled voice responded from the inside.

"Detective Moretti?" Callen asked while stepping inside, finding himself in a small room that looked more like an old archive with folders and papers all around.

A man in his late fifties was sitting at the desk, busily writing something at an old desktop computer, cursing and yelling at it. "Gah, I hate these things! Wasn't it better when we wrote our reports on paper? This damn thing is giving me nightmares!"

The two NCSI agents looked at him skeptically. Sam lifted one of his eyebrows as he closed the door behind him. "Detective Adrian Moretti?" he repeated the question his partner had just asked.

The older man finally took his eyes away from the screen of the computer he was slamming to make it work and looked at the two men standing in front of him. "Yeah, I bet you're the two Feds Bates told me about," he said, a little annoyed. Then he smiled, almost childishly, adding, "Do you have an idea how to make this damn thing work?"

"Maybe if you stop punching it, it would be much better," Callen remarked chuckling. "And just to let you know, that monitor your punching doesn't have any responsibility about the malfunction. It's not a TV. Do you see that little box under your desk?" It was a rhetorical question, so he continued talking. "It's the culprit…"

"This one?" Moretti wondered, indicating the large box on the floor. When he received a nod from the two agents, he kicked it. "Ok, much better now!" he burst out laughing, his features relaxed and his black eyes sparkled in satisfaction.

Both Callen and Sam shook their heads, but couldn't stop themselves from smiling. Moretti was not exactly the kind of person they were expecting, but at least he was a funny guy.

"Detective Moretti, I'm Special agent Sam Hanna, NCIS, and this is my partner, Special Agent G. Callen," the ex-Seal flashed his badge as his friend did the same.

"I know who you are," the older man replied, turning suddenly very serious. "That idiot of Bates warned me of your arrival but he didn't tell me what you wanted. So what can these old bones do for you?" He pointed at the chairs in front of him where the two NCIS agents could take a seat.

"Markus Weigman, ring any bells?" Callen asked directly, without running around in circles.

The older cop's jaw clenched hearing the name and passed a hand through his grey hair, leaning against the back seat of chair. "Bad story. Sick bastard…" Even if he didn't want to show it, Moretti seemed pretty shaken.

"What can you tell us about the op?" Sam questioned him, studying his expression intently, trying to understand his behavior.

"Why don't you ask Deeks? He's one of yours now… sort of…" There was a venomous note in the cop's voice that the two agents noticed.

"Let's just say that Deeks can't answer our questions right now." It was Callen who gave the half-answer, hoping to sound nonchalantly.

Moretti narrowed his eyes, sensing that something was off, but he decided to play along. "Ok, fair enough." He nodded before continuing, "Markus Weigman has probably been the most successful drug Lord of the whole area of Los Angeles for at least the last ten years. He had direct contact with the Colombian cartel, the Mexicans and even the Europeans. He basically trafficked in all kind of drugs: heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, amphetamine… basically, everything. 99.9% of the drugs pushed on the streets of Los Angeles came from him. He was a sadistic bastard who liked to enjoy his life in every way possible and who didn't think twice to use violence to get what he wanted. In the last few years, he managed to expand his business and drugs were not his only income anymore. LAPD had tried to find a way to put him behind bars, but basically, we couldn't get anything on him, no evidence, no papers. Nothing. The man was a ghost. A couple of years ago, when Weigman moved his interests even to tobaccos and cigarettes, ATF started their own investigations. They sent four undercover agents, but sadly, none of them came out alive."

"And how did LAPD get involved in the operation again?" Callen's hands were clenched in a tight fists hearing what Weigman was able to do and he was barely keeping his anger at bay.

"One of my dearest friends works for the LA office of ATF and asked for my help. They were basically looking for someone to send undercover for a joint operation. Someone who could fly under the radar, who couldn't be mistaken for an agent or a cop."

"And you gave them Deeks…" Sam stated gravely. No matter how mad he was at the shaggy haired detective, he knew Deeks was good at his job. Undercover was like a second skin for him.

"Yes, Marty Deeks is a real son of a bitch. I can't really stand him. I hate his attitude. I hate him being so laid back and all, but give him a job and you're sure he will do it; no matter what it will take him, he's like a dog with a bone. He will chew it until it's finished." Moretti paused, allowing the NCIS agents to digest his words, then he smirked, cunningly. "But I think you know that better than me since he's one of yours." He repeated the same statement he had just given a few minutes ago.

"What happened next?" Callen ignored the cop's comment, pushing him to tell him more.

"It happened that it took just a couple of weeks for the little bastard to get inside and to gain Weigman's trust. I was his handler and believe me when I say, he looked the part so well. His cover was pretty easy. He was a hired gun who wanted to rise through the ranks of the organization. Which he did, mostly due to his smartness and wit… and trust me, Deeks was perfect for the role. He can fool you with his surfer look, but he's smarter and more quick-minded than you can imagine! He wouldn't have survived all of those assignments if he wasn't smart." It looked like Moretti had some problems admitting Deeks' quality, but there was a certain amount of respect in his tone.

The two agents exchanged a look that spoke more than hundreds of words. They knew that Deeks was good, but sadly, they were not able to forget what he had become and how he behaved with them. They still felt too betrayed and too hurt to forgive him.

"I am not going to tell you all the details about the operation. I will give you case folder, but sometimes I wonder how the kid made it out of it without any consequences, physical and mental, because trust me, it was not an easy ride, not a joke…" The cop's voice became deeper and low with a big dose of graveness. "I don't even want to imagine what he was forced to do or see in those months, because it gives me chills just thinking about it."

Callen swallowed before going on. Sadly he didn't make it out without consequences, he thought closing his eyes. "How did the op end? What happened?"

"We were looking for something to incriminate Weigman for good and finally, we got our opportunity. Thanks to Deeks, we managed to know when one of the biggest shipments was going to be delivered and we sequestered it, right when Weigman was attending to the final meeting with his supplier. It was spectacular… one of the best days of my life!"

"What about Deeks' cover? Did any of them find out he was a cop?" Sam asked; even if Deeks was not one of them anymore after Hetty fired him, there was still something inside of him that forced him to worry about the young Detective.

"No, from what we know so far, it's still intact. We made Weigman believe that Deeks or better Derrick Jensen was wounded during the burst and sent to another jail because of his precarious physical condition," the older cop frowned, sensing that the two agents were not telling him the entire truth. "Do you suspect that someone is after Deeks?"

Callen shook his head. "No, not that we're aware of. It's just that as you might know, a sample of that drug you got from the burst, has been found in the pocket of a dead Petty Officer whose death we're investigating. It seems that he was going to sell the drug, the whole amount of it, to a scunbag named Rollie Ramirez."

"What? It's… it's impossible! The location of the drug is secure, just a few people know about it… it can't be!" protested Moretti vehemently. "And Ramirez? Do you have anything against him? We've been trying to arrest him for years!"

"Let's just say that at the moment he is out of commission," winked Sam cunningly.

The cop studied the two agents and felt that they were hiding something from him. "I'm pretty sure you're keeping me in the dark, but you know what? I don't care. I've had enough of that life and I accepted to work in this hole of a place so I'm sure that every night I can go home to my family! I decided that I better leave the honor to catch the bad guys to you, younger generation." He got up and disappeared from the two younger men's sight for a little while.

Sam and Callen heard him curse while the sound of papers and folders being moved reached their ears. Several minutes later, Moretti reappeared with two big folders in his hands.

"Here you are. This is everything we have about the op. I can ask one of my men to send you a digital copy of all the other evidences, but what you really need is in here. The rest is just bullshit!" The cop laughed out loud. "Now, if you excuse me, it's lunch time and my stomach needs some nourishment!" He pushed the two agents out of the office and locked the door behind them, while he remained inside.

Sam gave his partner a puzzled glare. "Who the hell is that guy?"

"I wish I knew, Sam. I wish I knew…" Callen gave the folder he was holding to his partner and then started climbing the stairs "But he's right. It's lunch time and I'm starving!"

The ex-Seal watched him leaving, then shaking his head in disbelief, he sighed. "Sometimes I wonder why I really haven't killed him yet." And with that, he followed his friend upstairs.

* * *

The bar was crowded, full of people enjoying their drinks and playing pool. The TV was on but it didn't seem that anyone was very interested in watching it. The not so wide place smelled of alcohol and sweat. Once in a while, people could be heard laughing or yelling, even swearing to each other.

The bartender was a filthy, fat man who had the unhealthy habit to clean his dirty hands on his clothes that were stained with every sort of material. His deep voice resounded in the bar when one of his customers was misbehaving or when things were getting a bit out of control.

A man was sitting at one of the tables in the corner, isolating himself from the others. He wanted to disappear from the face of the Earth, to get lost to the world. In front of him there were several empty bottles of beer and an almost empty glass of what it looked like whiskey. His trembling hand was having a hard time holding it, without spilling the contents on the surface of the table. From his position, he had a perfect view of all the place. It was a habit that was hard to kill, but his blue eyes were blank, like he was miles away from here; his mind was lost in thoughts, dark ones, sadly.

He took another sip of the strong liquid that burnt his throat, but he ignored it, like he didn't care. Like he didn't care about anything, anymore. He had screwed up big time, no kidding, and now he was going to pay the consequences. It made perfect sense. Chuckling, he brought the glass to his lips and drank all the whiskey this time, hoping to forget, hoping to wash away his sorrow with the alcohol.

He rummaged through his pockets looking for some money to get some more drinks, but sadly, he had just a few cents left and they were not enough. "Damn it!" he slurred, slamming his hand on the table releasing his frustration. Disappointed, he tried to stand, but his legs buckled and right when he thought he was falling to the floor, someone grabbed him from his shoulders and held him steadily from behind.

"You know that you don't have to get up so quickly after drinking so much…" a female voice told him with an ironic note in her words.

"No one has ever told you to mind your own business?" The man wriggled from the woman's grip and sank back into the chair.

"Aren't you a little bit too rude to someone who's going to offer you a free drink?" The woman, a tall slender woman with long black hair and deep black eyes said, sitting in front of him.

The man narrowed his eyes, studying her intently, not sure where the conversation was going to lead them. "Who are you?"

The woman didn't reply at first, but simply gave him a cunning smirk. "Someone who could help you, Detective Deeks…" she slipped something out of her purse and placed it in front of him.

The cop licked his lips in anticipation and his still shaking fingers moved towards the little packet, but the woman retreated it, playing with him and his need.

"Ah ah ah, not so soon, Detective or can I call you Marty?" She grinned knowing she was at a big advantage towards him. "Everything has a price, even this precious little thing…" she toyed with the little packet, twirling it with her long manicured fingers.

"What do you want?" Deeks asked, sounding too desperate, even to his own ears. "If you want money, well… you got it completely wrong, because my dear, I'm completely penniless!" He flashed a smile, but he was hardly containing himself. He needed that dose, craving physically and mentally for it. He was starting to feel the first effects of withdrawal and he didn't have any intention to go through the entire process.

"Marty, Marty, Marty… if I wanted money, I would have never come to you. I know very well about your finances. Actually, I know a lot of things about you!" Her dark eyes became even darker, if at all possible, and her whole expression was stone cold. "And I know that you're so desperate, in this moment, that you would do anything to get this little packet. Am I right?" The woman took the packet close to her mouth, sensually.

He was losing control, unable to keep his need at bay anymore "Give it to me and I will do anything you want." He murmured, as the trembling increased.

"You really are in deep shit, Marty." She laughed out loud and the sound echoed in the room.

"Please, I… I beg you… give it to me," Deeks insisted stretching his hand towards her, grabbing her wrist with all of his strength.

The woman's reaction caught him off guard though. She easily got rid of his grip and her fingers clasped around his wrist, twisting it painfully, making him whimper in pain. "Don't you dare touch me again with those filthy hands!" She snapped, talking with a venomous and evil tone. "Do it again and you're dead! Do you understand?" She didn't let him go, clenching his wrist even tighter, until she saw him nod, closing his eyes in agony. "Good boy…" she patted his face, mockingly and finally released him.

"Please, I'll do anything, but please… give me the shot…" the cop begged, holding his twisted wrist in his good hand.

A devilish grin curved the woman's lips as once again. She played with the little bag of heroin. "As I said, not so soon. I need to know if I can trust you first. I need to know that I can rely on you for my business."

Deeks couldn't hold on any longer; the heroin was calling him like a siren and this woman was simply driving him crazy. "I said that I will do anything you want, but give me that damn shot!" He almost yelled, desperately.

The woman continued talking, ignoring his outburst like it never happened. "I need to know how desperate you are… are you really willing to do anything? Even betray the people you have called friends until yesterday?"

Anger and frustration took possession of the cop's body that was shaking like a leaf. "I'll soon show you how much I want that shot if you don't give it to me!"

Again, she laughed out loud, sending him on the edge of craziness. "You're pretty pathetic, you know?" Her cold eyes stared at Deeks as she wanted to read his mind. "You want to show me how desperate you are, perfect then… come with me and you'll find out what I want from you. Then I'll give you your shot and if you'll show me how worth you are, you won't have to worry anymore to get your daily fix…" without waiting for a reply, she got up and turning on her heels she headed towards the exit.

The cop swallowed hard; he didn't trust the woman, but desperate as he was right now, she was his only option. His only chance to get a regular fix. Reluctantly, but with a determined expression planted on his face, he forced his trembling body to follow the woman outside, looking more like a starved puppy who followed his master. He hated himself because of what he had become, but this was his life now and he had to live with that, accepting the consequences.


	6. Chapter 6

It's probably the worst day to post a new chapter since we're having NCISLA season premiere in just few hours (the waiting is over! So excited and scared at the same time... my poor Deeks!), but I am following my schedule faithfully.

This is a short chapter and it will lead you straight to the next one ;) I hope you can bear with me just a little longer even if I know it's hard with this story.

Thanks to Xwing12 for her help. (I hope you're enjoying your vacation!)

* * *

Going Under - Chapter 6

He didn't know how long he had been in the room, but for sure it had been too long for his taste. Deeks had followed the mysterious woman outside the bar. An expensive car was waiting for her, with a personal chauffeur, sitting in the driver seat. He couldn't deny that he felt a bit out of place, but he didn't care at all. One thing was making him go on, that little packet that the woman was still holding in her hand and the chance to get more of it to satisfy his needs.

The car had stopped in front of a building in the industrial area of Los Angeles and as soon as the engine had been turned off, two big goons greeted them. They led him to this room where he still was right now. They didn't mention a single word, but simply locked him inside.

Deeks knew that they were watching him, that this was a test, but thinking straight was getting harder, minute after minute. His body was starting to react violently to the lack of drugs in his system. The trembling was getting out of control and his stomach was already turning upside down. The cramps were so intense that he had to curl into a ball to fight the pain.

"Oh come on, this is not fair…" he murmured, panting heavily as he crawled towards the corner of the empty room, leaning against the wall. "Not fair," he repeated closing his eyes to fight another flash of agony. And this time he couldn't do anything against it. It was too much. He turned his face just in time to empty his stomach on the dusty floor. "Oh man…" he muttered, as his hands clenched into tight fists. "Please, give me that shot!" his voice raised, but sounding very desperate, even to his own ears.

The cop was still struggling, fighting the waves of pain convulsing his body, when the door of the room finally opened and the mysterious woman stepped inside, the evil smile still on her lips.

"You don't look very good, Marty," she started, approaching him and kneeling next to him. Her hand caressed his pale face, losing itself through his sweaty hair. "You really need this little friend." She showed him the little packet and as a reflex, Deeks' arm extended to reach it, but once again, she took it away from him.

"Please…" he begged with teary eyes, unable to add any more due to another stabbing flash of pure agony that made him double over.

"Poor thing," the woman said with a sweet voice, still caressing him. "I'm sorry I had to put you through this, but I had to be sure you were not lying to me. That you really are what you are… a bloody junkie who's desperately looking for a fix." Her fingers yanked his hair, tilting his head backwards, so her dark eyes could stare directly at his blue orbs. "And I have to say that you're pretty pathetic. I heard you were good at your job, but look at you know…"

The cop swallowed hard as a new wave of nausea churned his stomach. "Please, I will do anything you need me to do, but please… I need it… damn it…" The last words had been said sobbing and he sounded, truly, pathetic.

The woman released her hold on him and stood up. "Ok, does the name Markus Weigman sound familiar to you?" she asked, as her lips curled into a cunning grin.

For a moment, Deeks' head spun and he had to use all of his strength not to get sick again. The name brought hundreds of memories to his mind and not all of them were pretty ones. He passed a trembling hand through his hair, nodding. "Yeah, I… I know the evil bastard…" his voice was almost feeble and had lost all of its usual cockiness and wit.

"And I bet you know about a big stash of heroin you and your cop friends got from him…" the woman continued, pacing up and down the filthy room. She didn't wait for a reply and continued talking. "I need that heroin, all of it. You help me get it and I will pay you handsomely and… you won't have any more problems getting your fix!"

The cop stiffened hearing her words. He didn't expect anything like this. "But… how do you propose I can help you with this? Even assuming that I know where the drug is, I don't have any idea of how to get it. I believe it's well guarded and…" he hesitated biting his lower lip. "I am not sure you're aware that NCIS is probably monitoring that drug since it is linked to the homicide of a Petty Officer…"

The woman chuckled almost amused. "Randall, that idiot!" she studied the blond man with a pitiful expression planted of her beautiful face. "I never trusted him completely. I knew he was not the man I was looking for, but my inside man with the Feds told me he had connections, that we could trust him… that he could help us…"

"An inside man with the Feds?" Deeks lifted his brow, curiously.

"Having second thoughts, Marty? Are you afraid that your Federal friends will catch you?" she spoke with a mocking tone, teasing him, knowing that this might hurt him.

"No… not at all. Those fucking bastards never cared for me and I don't want to be mixed up with them anymore." He tried to keep his voice steady, but he was shaking so badly and it was hard. He was aware that he needed to be confident, to show this woman he was the perfect man for her business so he would have his final prize. "I was just wondering why you need me, a simple cop, when you have a Fed on your payroll, that's it…" he braced himself when the bile rose through his throat. Sadly, he couldn't do anything to stop it and before he realized it, he was retching again.

The woman's laugh resounded in the room as she watched him fighting the weakness of his body. The cop was clearly close to the end of his rope. "Why? Isn't it obvious?" she knelt beside him, passing her long fingers through his blond curls. "Just look at you Marty… isn't it obvious that you will do anything I ask you? You're at the point of your sucky life in which you'd kill for a dose and for anyone who gives you one. So here I am, offering you a great opportunity. We can do great things together. You have connections. You know how the cops work and think. You will give me the intel and I will give you all the heroin you want to fulfill your needs. What do you say, Marty? Are you with me?"

Without giving her time to finish the sentence, he nodded, grabbing her expensive jacket with her hands. "Yes, tell me what I have to do, but please… I can't wait any longer. Please… give me just one shot, one little dose… please…"

She smiled softly, but her eyes were cold. "Give and take, Marty… just to start on the right foot, tell me, where is the drug? Then I will give you what you want…"

Deeks closed his eyes, panting. He could feel that his body was failing him. "There's a secret depot for LAPD evidence, down at the Marina. Pier 75… you can check it, if you want…"

The woman nodded satisfied. Then she stood up, beckoning to one of her men who walked out of the room only to come back a few minutes later carrying a little tray that he handed to his boss. "You did good, Marty. This is your prize." She laid it on the floor so that the cop could see what was on it and lick his lips in anticipation. "Come on, Marty, go on…"

Deeks didn't need to be told twice. His trembling hands started working on the drug and soon he was tightening the rubber tourniquet around his arm, ready to get his fix. His needy eyes crossed with the woman's ones. "Are you going to stare at me like that?"

"Come on, don't be shy. We're going to be friends… and friends share everything," her devilish grin was back in place as she locked her gaze on him, as she was testing him again.

"Friends know each other's names," he said, finally plunging the needle in the crook of his elbow. Soon a sense of peace engulfed him, numbing him, clouding his mind as an intense pleasure pervaded his whole body. He closed his eyes, leaning his head against the wall and his arms went limp along his waist. The empty syringe fell to the ground but he didn't even realize it, too lost in the pleasuring oblivion.

The woman leaned towards him, once again stroking his hair and caressing his cheek. She brought her lips close to his ear and whispered, "My name is Lara and I'm sure we will have a lot of fun together…" she brushed her lips against his skin and then she walked away from him, away from the room followed by her men.

Deeks could only register the missing presence of the beautiful woman even if her scent was still lingering in the air. His breathing was getting back to normal when a new and intense pain contorted his stomach. Once again, he was not able to stop it and a second later he was bending over and throwing up. "Damn it…!" were his last words before blackening up.

* * *

Outside the door, Lara cast a quick glance inside, studying the sprawled form of Detective Marty Deeks. She grinned, satisfied, before turning her attention to her men. "Trevor, take two men and go check the address he gave us. Don't get close, just take note of everything. We need to know if he told us the truth and if he did, how we can sneak inside the place."

One of the two goons, the shortest one, nodded silently and walked away.

The other one, who was older and taller, exchanged a stare with the woman and then looked at the man in the room. "Do you trust him, Lara?" he asked, using a confidential tone as he shared a different and, maybe, closer relationship with the beautiful woman.

"Not yet, but he took that crap without blinking. He needed it more than anything… he didn't hesitate and worked on the drug with dexterity. He's not a probie…" she paused sighing. "And you saw the marks on his arms as well."

"Don't fall for him, Lara. We can't jeopardize the whole deal because you want to fuck him!" The man ground his teeth while talking and his words came out harshly.

"Larry, you might be my brother, but you better not talk to me like that! I'm still your boss!" she protested vehemently, sensing her older brother's hostility. "Even if I want to fuck him, and fuck him hard, you know that my mind is always focused on our business. Just remember that, ok?"

"Just don't screw things up! I… I have a bad feeling and I don't like that pretty boy of yours, not a single bit!" Larry lowered his voice, almost whispering into his sister's ear.

"You will change your mind when he takes us to the source of our future riches!" Her laughter filled the air, then turning suddenly serious, she grabbed the lapel of her brother's jacket. "Now, keep an eye on him. Be sure he doesn't do anything stupid or suspicious and if he does, just shoot him!"

A big grin formed on Larry's lips as he witnessed Lara turn into his boss. The boss everyone feared and respected. "I love it when you do that!"

She gingerly kissed her brother on the lips and then left. She had some calls to make to put her plan in motion.

Larry cast a glance inside the room at Deeks' prone form. "Just give me a reason to shoot you, Detective. That is exactly what I am looking for!" He burst out laughing before taking out a cigarette and lighting it up. Man, he loved his job.

* * *

Kensi walked into the bullpen very early that morning. It was earlier than usual and, earlier than her teammates. She sat at her desk and as a reflex, her eyes landed on the empty desk on the other side. Hetty had been very anal, removing everything. Every trace of Detective Marty Deeks, LAPD Liaison officer with NCIS had simply disappeared, but sadly, it was not easy for her. She could not forget the last three years of her life. The last three years in which her partner had slowly found his way through her walls, reaching her soul… her heart. She might be mad, she might be disappointed and furious, but there was no way that she could ignore the void that Deeks' departure had left inside of her. It was like a very important part of herself had been ripped apart, taken away from her and coping, was not so easy.

Talking to Hetty had helped her, mostly because she had realized that the Operations Manager, in spite of the appearance, was not giving up on him, as much as she was not giving up herself. She didn't know why, but Kensi found solace in that.

Her train of thoughts was interrupted by Sam and Callen's arrival. The two senior agents were not able to hide their surprise when they saw her already at her desk, but decided not to press her on the matter. They let her be, knowing that it was probably a hard time for their younger teammate.

"Morning Kensi," Callen greeted her with a little smile on his lips as he lay a box on her desk. "I thought that you might like these…"

Kensi closed her eyes, nodding a silent thank you to her friend. She opened the box, licking her lips when she saw the donuts. "Thanks Callen, but I want you two to have some of them… Come on, let's share them…"

Sam exchanged a wary glance with his partner. It was the first time ever in which Kensi shared the donuts. Usually, she would simply eat them without even asking if someone wanted any. He sighed heavily, realizing that maybe, she was not as good as she wanted to let on. "I'm good Kensi, I have already had breakfast. This morning, Michelle decided that I was not eating enough, so she prepared me a triple breakfast and my stomach is already too full to have anything else. But thank you…" His eyes studied his female teammate intently, noticing her sad expression, in spite of the smile. This was going to be tough…

"Oh… ok. Callen?" she asked.

"I can't resist a donut…" with a quick movement, the team leader grabbed a chocolate donut that soon was just a memory.

Kensi chuckled at the sight of her friend's mouth surrounded by chocolate. "I think you better clean that mess…"

The ex-Seal shook his head in disbelief. "I wonder if I work with a five year old kid or what!" but his statement didn't have the effect he expected because Kensi became suddenly serious.

Once again her stare moved to Deeks' empty desk. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Kensi, it's ok to feel sad. We got it, but… you need to move on. Maybe one day he will realize the mistake he made and he will come back to you, as a friend," Callen told her, gently, without sounding judgmental.

"And I've been such a good friend…" There was a lot of irony and sorrow in her words. She had wanted to do something for her partner because he needed someone in that moment, but he had shut her out.

"Kensi, you tried. Don't be too hard on yourself!" Sam was a bit more resolute than his partner, simply because he still didn't want to get over the fact that, with his behavior, the cop had betrayed everything he believed in.

"Maybe I should have tried harder…" She wanted to add something else, but a whistle interrupted her.

"Guys, you are all awaited in Ops. Hetty wants you all up there immediately," Eric sounded more serious than usual and it seemed that his smile had disappeared from his face.

The three agents looked at one another and then without saying anything, one by one, they climbed the stairs to follow the tech. Kensi cast one last glare at Deeks' desk, then sighing heavily, she followed her teammates.

Once she stepped into Ops, Hetty looked at her with knowing eyes. "Nice of you to join us, Miss Blye." But there was no trace of reprimand in her voice and the smile that curved her lips told Kensi that everything was fine. It was just Hetty's way to give everyone an idea of normality after the storm. "Miss Jones, please start."

Nell nodded as images appeared on the big screen. "This is Lawrence DeBon, a notorious trafficker, gunrunner, drug dealer… A very high member of the criminality of Los Angeles. According to our research, his phone number had been called by an anonymous number several times. This number belonged to a burn phone that had been purchased in a shop in Venice, two months ago," the analyst explained, with a calm voice.

"Ok, what does this leave us? If it's a burn phone, we're at a dead end…" Sam murmured, not sure where the conversation was going.

"Not exactly," Eric intervened whilst working on his tablet. Immediately, a camera feed played on screen. "This video had been taken the day the phone was sold. If you look carefully, I think you can recognize a familiar face…"

The video stopped on the face of a man with a clean haircut, tall with broad shoulders.

"Dave Randall…" Kensi said with a feeble voice.

"The one and the only!" Nell stated triumphantly, exchanging a satisfied grin with her partner in crime.

"So Dave Randall wanted to do business with Rollie Ramirez, but was in league with DeBon," Callen was reflecting out loud, trying to make a connection. "And we wonder why he's dead now… considering the people he hung out with."

"What do we know about DeBon?" the ex-Seal frowned, staring at the picture of a man in his forties, strong build, with dark hair and even darkest eyes that was still up on screen. There was something highly menacing in the man's expression, almost intimidating.

"Lawrence DeBon or Larry as he prefers to be called, is Anthony DeBon's son…" Eric was starting explaining when Callen stopped him.

"Anthony DeBon. The Anthony DeBon?" the team leader looked for eye contact with Hetty, who nodded gravely.

"I'm afraid so, Mr. Callen," the diminutive woman closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

"Ok, is there something you would like to share with us?" Kensi was puzzled, unable to put a finger on what was happening.

"Mr. Beale, please, go ahead," The Operations Manager exhorted the tech who went back to the subject.

"Anthony DeBon is a former lawyer, very well known in the ambient, but mostly, he is a former CIA agent who was suspected to have gone rogue. The heads of CIA were pretty sure he sold some valuable military secrets to some of our most dreadful enemies, so he had been dishonorably discharged and after that, he disappeared. No one had seen him, not until the day he was found dead in downtown LA, four years ago. No one has been able to prove that he really did what he had been accused of and mostly, no one has been able to find his killer. Larry, his son, has not been so subtle. Everything he does, he does in big style. He likes to party. He likes to appear on TV. He likes to be on the covers of magazines, but even if he is suspected of being one hell of a criminal, there has never been enough evidence to send him to jail. Actually, he's as clean as a white sheet…" Eric finished with a little intake of breath, as he was a bit disappointed of his findings.

"Dig deeper, Eric. We need to find everything about DeBon and we need to find everything about his connection with Randall," Callen spoke quietly, but his mind was racing. "What about Randall's friends? Did you find any of them?"

"If any of his friends are connected to LAPD or to any Federal Agency, maybe Ramirez lied to us… or maybe Randall lied to him," Nell had her eyes locked on her tablet as she was still reading some data while talking. Her brows furrowed as he said "Mmmmm…"

"Anything interesting, Miss Jones?" Hetty wondered narrowing her eyes.

"I've just read something that might be of interest…" She pressed a couple of keys and a file showed up on the big screen. "This is Megan Jarvis, she's Randall's ex-girlfriend. I don't know whether it might be interesting or useful, but her brother Lionel is one of us. Not an operative but more in administration. He works in one of our accountant's offices, here in LA. I'm sending the address to your phones… right now…"

"Mr. Callen, Mr. Hanna, talk to Jarvis and see if you can find something that could help us find who killed Randall. This story is getting a little bit too complicated for my taste! There are too many players involved." The Operations Manager looked a bit sorrowful, like she had missed something.

Kensi watched her intently and bit her lip, nervously. She had the impression that Hetty missed Deeks' presence as much as she missed him herself. Just standing here in Ops, being filled in on the case, was not the same without him. Why? Why was she affected by this? She needed to focus and to move on, as Callen told her, but it was not that simple. You simply couldn't forget about one of the most important people in your whole life that quickly. "Hetty, what about me? What do I have to do?"

"You, my dear, will help me in a very hard task…" the diminutive woman said, gravely. She noticed her agent's puzzled face, so she finished her sentence immediately. "Finding you a new partner. And before you can even attempt to protest, it's not negotiable!" With that, she left Ops, leaving a startled and confused Kensi looking at the others. She didn't expect that and for sure, she was not looking forward to finding herself with a new partner. She already had one… She wanted to wait for him. Sighing, bowing her head, she nodded to Sam and Callen and then followed her boss outside. This was going to be a long day.


	7. Chapter 7

Time for a new chapter... and if you're still with me, thank you! I appreciate it.

And I can't forget to thank Xwing12, because her help is priceless!

* * *

Going Under - Chapter 7

Deeks woke up abruptly at the sound of the door unlocking. It took him few moments to remember where he was, but as the man approached him, memories came back to him immediately.

His head was pounding and in his mouth there was the distinct acrid aroma of bile and vomit. His stomach was clearly turned upside down. "Do you have something to drink, man, because my throat would definitely like something strong," he murmured while straightening up and putting himself on a sitting position. "Whiskey, maybe?"

The man didn't even blink, but grabbed the cop by his arm and roughly put him to his feet without any kind of care.

No matter how prepared Deeks was for this, the whole room started spinning and he had to lean on the man so not to stumble face down to the floor. He felt so dizzy that for a good minute, the stars danced in front of his eyes and everything was simply out of focus. He took a couple of deep breaths and finally he seemed to get his body under control, but he didn't let go the lapel of the man's expensive jacket, wrinkling it.

"Let me go, you bloody junkie!" The man yelled slightly irritated. He pushed Deeks away from him. "Get your filthy hands off me!"

Deeks smiled cunningly. "You better respect me a little bit more, man…" he said turning very serious. "Because these filthy hands are going to make you rich, you little son of a bitch!"

The man was ready to hit the cop when a female voice resounded in the small room. "Larry, stop!" Lara shouted to her brother.

"No, why did you stop him? We were having so much fun…" the cop grinned, showing his yellow teeth that once were shining white.

Larry couldn't take it anymore and released his frustration punching the other man in the gut. "That will teach you to shut up!"

Deeks fell to the ground, holding his midsection, panting heavily. He was on his knees. His head was resting on his arm stretched in front of him. "One day you will regret this." He muttered between ground teeth as he attempted to stand. Surprisingly, it was Lara who helped him to get up.

She studied the blond man's features, intrigued by his appearance. He was clearly a mess, with bloodshot eyes and dark circles under them. He was paler than he should normally be, but she couldn't deny the fact that he was obviously handsome. The cop had probably lost some weight lately, but she could still sense his muscles bulging under her fingers. She bit her lip, quietly aroused, but she contained herself, because since the first moment she had landed her gaze on Detective Marty Deeks, she had felt an unstoppable sexual attraction towards him. But she couldn't allow herself to fulfill her needs. She had to use this man for her purpose and nothing more. But man, the more she was around him, the more she wanted to have wild sex with him.

"Are you ok, Marty?" She asked, surprising herself with the kindness she put in her words.

Her brother rolled his eyes, realizing what was happening. He hated it when his sister behaved like this - unable to contain her instincts.

"I'm good, I think the little fix you gave me was not exactly enough…" He flashed one of his infamous smiles, before adjusting his t-shirt.

Lara ignored his statement, then she added "Your story about the LAPD warehouse checked out. You didn't lie to me. This is a very good beginning!" She smiled, pleased. "You can go home now, I have to think about a plan of action first. We'll contact you as soon as we need you."

"As soon as you all need me or as soon as you will need me," Deeks teased her, licking his lower lip with his tongue, playfully.

The woman felt a cold shiver run down her spine, but once again, she stopped her body jumping into action. She wanted so badly to kiss those lips and run her fingers through the cop's golden locks "You will find out very soon, Marty." She moved towards him, whispering into his ear. Her lips brushed his stubble, his skin, and a new wave of electricity coursed through her excited system. "Go home, Marty… take a shower, eat something and try to take care of yourself." With a rapid movement, she slipped a little packet into his back pocket, indulging a little while longer to touch his ass and sense it under her fingers.

Deeks was not surprised by her action and enjoyed the little exchange, grinning openly. "I fear I'm a bit too far away from home," he told her, still smirking.

"Who cares how far you are from home!?" Larry intervened, taking the blond detective away from his sister. He grabbed him roughly by his t-shirt and pushed him against the wall. "You better behave, junkie, or you won't live long enough to get another fix! Have I made myself clear enough?"

The cop chuckled, unnerving the other man even more. "You really don't know who you're messing with." His blue eyes were as cold as ice and his whole expression had turned from joking to deadly, in a blink of an eye.

Unconsciously, Larry shivered, sensing that this man was more dangerous than he had thought at first and this made him pretty uneasy. "You heard what she said. Go home!"

Deeks gave the man a light, ironic smile, then straightened himself up and moved to walk out of the room, passing by Lara's standing form. Intentionally, he walked very close to her, his shoulder brushed hers, lightly… teasingly. He stopped just one second, to whisper something to her. "I… I bet you know where to find me. And trust me…" he paused as he let his tongue play jokingly with his lower lip. "I can't wait for you to call me." His fingers gently touched her hair.

It was a light touch but it sent cold shivers down her spine as she felt her excitement and desire grow exponentially. Unable to contain herself anymore, she grabbed his hair, rougher than she had intended at first, and placed her mouth just a few breaths away from his, their lips almost touching.

"You better be ready for when I call you." Her black eyes locked on his sparkling blue ones "I can accept only the perfection in my men."

The cop's lips curved into a cunning grin. Once again, his tongue danced on them, knowing the effect that little gesture had on Lara, who trembled every time he did that. "I bet you like what you're seeing then." With a sudden move, he wriggled from her grip and without turning around, he walked towards the door.

He was already at the doorstep when she called him back. "Marty?!" she said with a fierce expression on her face.

"Yes…" He turned to look straight at her, sensing his burning eyes on him.

"You better not be playing me." She looked at him with a grave stare that could incinerate everyone and everything around her "You won't like it!"

For a moment, Deeks remained silent, then, he tilted his head, flashing one of his best smiles. "I like to play with fire." And without waiting for a reply, he put his hands in his pockets and walked away, unaware of the amused look on the woman's face staring at him.

* * *

After leaving the building, Deeks continued walking for at least a couple of blocks, always checking behind his shoulders to see if someone was following him. When he was sure that they had trusted him enough to leave him on his own, he stopped, leaning against a wall for support. He felt like crap. His head was still pounding, his stomach was messed up and he was sure that he was going to be sick soon. He slid down the wall, sitting heavily on the ground in the filthy alley, resting his head on his bent knees. Taking deep breaths, he tried to get some control over his shaking body, but it was taking more time than he wanted and sadly, the unsettling sensation that was contorting his guts was not going away.

"Well done, buddy," he murmured to himself, fighting the nausea and the bile that was rising up through his throat. In vain.

His stomach contorted and he just made it in time to turn his face and throw up.

"Damn it!" He muttered, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He braced himself as violent shivers shook him from the inside. Asking his body a big effort, he used the wall as a support and put himself on his feet. He immediately felt dizzy and his head spun, but he knew that he couldn't stop. He had a task to achieve.

Putting one foot in front of the other, he managed to reach a public phone and with still trembling fingers, he dialed a familiar number.

"Yes," said a gruff voice on the other side.

"I'm in," Deeks whispered, unable to raise his voice. It hurt too much.

"Good. Meet me at the usual place. In an hour." There was an hesitation in the man's voice before he continued talking. "Is it safe?"

The cop took a deep breath, closing his eyes. _Really? Hell no!_ He thought. He couldn't get sick, not now. "Yeah, no one is following me. One hour. I'll be there." Without waiting for an answer, he closed the communication and sank to his knees retching dry heaves. "Perfect, this is just perfect…" he mumbled, collecting all of his energy to start walking. "Man, I hate all of this!"

* * *

"It was just a waste of time!" Sam exclaimed, getting into his car. He and his partner had just left Lionel Jarvis' house, but the man had not been able to tell them anything useful. He seemed sincerely unaware of what Randall was involved with and mostly, he was shocked when they told him about the drugs, well mostly horrified.

"Yeah, I agree. I believed him. Did you see his face when we told him about the heroin? He paled and it was like he was ready to faint." Callen added, taking out his phone and dialing Ops. "Eric, check Jarvis background. Is there anyone around him with history of drug addiction?"

"Give me a moment," the tech answered, already working on his task. After a few minutes of silence, Eric talked again, "Yes, Timothy Jarvis, Lionel's younger brother died seven years ago from an overdose. He was 19. Lionel was the one who found him and who tried to save him, but all of his attempts were useless. Timothy died on the way to hospital."

"Thanks Eric," he was closing the communication when Callen called the tech back. "Eric, wait. How are things going on over there?"

"Why, why are you asking?" Eric wondered puzzled, frowning.

"Eric, how's Kensi doing?" The team leader didn't need to add anything more. Everything was clear enough.

"I haven't heard her scream yet, but Nell followed her to the gym. I think she needs to blow off some steam."

Callen took a deep breath, not liking this at all. "Keep an eye on her until we get back, ok? And if things get bad, give us a shout. We're on our way back." And with that, he hung up.

"So, did she destroy anything?" Sam asked, lowering his voice, unable to hide his worry.

"Probably only herself," admitted his partner sadly. "Eric said she rushed to the gym."

The ex-Seal couldn't suppress a little smile, but then turned immediately serious "Do you think it's too soon?"

"I don't know, Sam. It's Deeks… and it's Kensi. You know how those two are… were." Callen hesitated, passing a hand over his face, clearly frustrated "She won't move on anytime soon and finding her a new partner may not be the smartest move at this point. But if Hetty took this decision, there must be a reason. You know she doesn't do anything without purpose. And she cares about Kensi. She wouldn't do anything that might hurt her."

Sam's expression hardened. His jaw clenched and this change of posture didn't go missed by his partner.

"What's wrong?" The team leader furrowed his brows studying his friend's features.

"How could he be so stupid? So selfish? Damn it! This whole thing is too stupid even for him!" The big man snapped. His hands were curled around the steering wheel, nervously "You know that Deeks and I never got along. We're too different, but we always agreed on one thing. Drugs! He always said that he didn't do drugs. That he would never ruined his life because of that shit and believe me, I admired him when he told me that, especially if you consider some of the undercover operations he had been involved with. I bet the temptation had been strong, but he never gave in to it. What the hell happened this time?"

Callen finally understood why his partner was so frustrated. Why he felt so betrayed by Deeks' actions, by his behavior. Sam hated drugs, with his whole himself. He mostly hated when someone in the Military Force used drugs while on duty, because doing so, put themselves, their missions and their comrades' lives at risk. This was something he could not get over. When Deeks was working with them, high on drugs or worse when he was craving for a dose, he was putting their lives at risk and the big man could not accept it. His friends were his family, which was something he valued more than anything. "Maybe he had his reasons, Sam. We don't know what he was forced to do on that op. Something probably happened and he broke down. The drug was right there in front of him, calling like a siren… maybe it was the easiest escape."

"But he could have come to us! We are… we were his friends!" the ex-seal yelled in anger.

"Are you sure? Do you really think that we always treated him like a friend, like one of us?" The team leader's words were bitter, filled with sorrow.

"G, what the hell are you saying? Are you crazy? You can't believe what he said that day at the boatshed! Damn it! He was so wasted that he didn't even know what he was talking about! We always treated like one of us." Sam said firmly.

Callen fell silent for a moment. His mind was wandering around, thinking about all the cases they worked with Deeks. "He always had our back or Kensi's, but we always mocked him, teased him, sending him hints that he usually deflected with a joke or with his humor, but… but we never spent more than one second to know him better, Sam. We don't know anything about him and in the rare occasions he shared something about his past, we didn't take him too seriously. Even during that case, when that woman, one of his defendants' life has been threatened and he asked for our help, we joked about him being a bad lawyer, just because of the way he looks, just because of his hair, but we didn't spend a moment to realize that maybe it was tough for him. We assumed that he could take everything we threw at him, just because it was Deeks, but maybe we, we were wrong. We never realized that maybe we were hurting him more than we knew."

"Oh come on, G. You can't really mean that. It's Deeks. He is never serious, he is never focused on anything. Just look at that time when he was shot because he was stupid enough not to change his routine!"

"Yeah, I remember that and I remember that he almost bled to death climbing down three flights of stairs to get to Kensi in time to save her life. I remember that time when he was there for her, with her, in that laser room." Callen's blue eyes sparkled thinking that maybe everything the cop put up was just a façade "I… I think we underestimated him, Sam and in doing so, we hurt him. Only Kensi saw a spark of the real Marty Deeks and man, she trusted him with everything. Sam, she never trusts people so easily and if she trusts Deeks…"

The big man took a long breath, inhaling deeply. Had they been too hard on the cop? Had they treated him really bad? The hint of a doubt started forming in his mind "You… well, maybe you're right, but this… this doesn't mean that he had to do something so stupid!"

"I agree with you in this, but maybe we… we didn't want to see what was in front of our eyes. We didn't see that he was hurting and we let him do that idiocy." Callen's words fell into the air, leaving both partners pretty unsettled, lost in their thoughts.

The rest of the drive to the mission was spent in an oppressive silence since none of them knew what to say, what to add. When finally Sam parked his car in his usual spot and got out of the car, he told his partner "Do you really think we screwed up things with him, G?"

The team leader stared at his friend, biting his lip, nervously "Yeah, maybe a little. We took things for granted and this was a damn mistake! We should have known it very well," he sighed heavily "I wish there was something we could do to fix things."

The ex-Seal nodded gravely, understanding his partner's point of view "Let's start with helping Kensi. Then we'll find a way to fix things with Deeks! I hate him right now, truly hate him, but man I miss having him around! This place is not the same anymore!"

Callen laughed out loud. "Are you going all soft, Sam? I always knew that you were such a Teddy bear!"

"Don't you dare tell anyone what you just heard or you won't live another day!" Sam threatened his friend, flashing a dimpled smile, though.

"Are you really threatening the Uncle of your kids? Your loyal partner who puts up with you all day, every day? You're not very fair, big guy."

"Don't tempt me!" The big man shook his head, walking towards the entrance of the Mission. "So, are you coming or not?"

"I'm coming, I'm coming…" Callen smiled, feeling like a heavy weight had been removed from his shoulders. They all had reasons to be mad at Deeks, but maybe they should have tried a little harder to understand him and to help him. At least it was not too late. They could make up for it and they were determined do it. The problem was, how they could do it? "One thing at a time, one thing at a time."

* * *

Nell stepped into the gym and saw the slender figure of her friend throwing punch after punch at the punching bag, harder and harder. Kensi's body was already covered with sweat and it was clear that she was releasing all of her frustration, her suppressed anger, in the action.

The closer the analyst approached her, the more she noticed something else, something she had never seen before but expected to see now.

Kensi was crying. Tears were fogging her vision and were rolling down her face, mixing with beads of sweat.

Nell felt a knot forming in her stomach at the sight of her strong and proud friend so torn and so broken. Her heart melted, knowing what had caused such a reaction. It was not a mystery for anyone that Kensi and Deeks were dangerously close. Everyone knew that they were simply perfect together and perfect for each other. Everyone, but them. They danced around each other all the time, joking, bickering, bantering, but if one of them had a problem, the other was there to offer support, in their own weird way. Everything could be said about them, but not that they were conventional. Their unconventional way to relate to each other was what really was missed in the office these days. The place seemed empty, sadder than it was just a few days ago. There was something missing and it was not only Deeks. Kensi was missing too. It was like she had disappeared with his departure. A part of her had vanished the moment Deeks walked out of the boatshed, the moment he pushed her out of his apartment and out of his life.

The petite analyst watched as Kensi delivered another series of heavy blows to the unlucky punching bag, before she finally stopped, hugging it. For a moment she was still, embracing the bag. A moment later she was punching it, but with desperation, with a mix of emotions that were ready to overwhelm her if only she stopped what she was doing. So Kensi went on… and on… and on. Until she was too exhausted and fell to her knees.

Nell walked closer, a bit uncertain of her actions. She didn't know how to approach this version of her friend. She had never seen such a fragile version of her friend. Probably only Deeks had been allowed to see this version over the years.

"Kensi…" the analyst said feebly, kneeling next to Kensi and putting a hand on her shoulder. "Come on, let's get you away from here." She helped her friend to her feet and guided her to a bench, passing her a bottle of water. She didn't know what to say, so she waited.

Kensi took a sip and bit her lip, nervously, smiling then bitterly said, "I bet you're thinking I'm an idiot." She spoke with a feeble voice, unable to hide her uncertainties.

"Not at all," Nell replied firmly, tilting her head gently.

"I… I'm not ready, Nell," the agent started without even looking at her friend. She was sure if she crossed her gaze with her, she would start crying again, and she didn't want to do that. She didn't want Nell to see her cry again.

"Ready for what?" The petite analyst asked as she helped her friend out of the boxing gloves, knowing very well that she didn't want to be pitied or seen like this.

"I don't want a new partner, Nell." Kensi took a deep breath as her hands became free, passing her fingers over her face. "I was sitting there, listening to Hetty making suggestions, looking at those folders and I could only think that it was wrong, that I had a partner and that I wanted him back." For the first time, she lifted her head so her eyes could stare directly at Nell's. "I feel like a child who wants something so badly," she chuckled with a great amount of sorrow. "Why did it happen, Nell? Why didn't I see it? The more I think about it, the more I can't understand! Why didn't he trust me enough to tell me that… that he had a problem? I trusted him! God, I trust him even now." Her last words were nothing more than a whisper, a clear sign of how affected she was. How sad she was.

"Don't blame yourself Kensi." Nell took her friend's hand even though Kensi tried to retreat; in fact, the NCIS agent was not used to displaying any kind of emotions or vulnerability. "Sometimes it's not easy to admit to having a problem and you know Deeks. He's not… he is so independent that he is not used to asking for help. He spent a life relying only on himself. It's hard to change."

"But I thought that…" a lump formed in Kensi's throat, making hard to talk. She cast a glance at the ceiling, as she wanted to find a way to go on. "I thought we were friends, that he felt the same way towards me as I felt towards him. I knew that even if I didn't want to, he would be there for me. I would have been there for him too. Where did I do wrong?"

"No, Kensi, you didn't do anything wrong!" And in that moment, seeing her friend so broken, so unsure, the analyst wanted to hug her, but she was aware of how proud Kensi was, so she simply took her hand in hers, once again. "God only knows what happened during that operation to push him to start using, to fall for that thing. I am sure he was not thinking straight when he did it and after that, it was too late. He was in so deep that probably he didn't even know what he was doing or how he was doing it," she paused, inhaling deeply. "Heroin is a nasty beast, Kensi. Once you're mixed up with it, it's hard to get out of it."

"I fear that he doesn't want to be helped, Nell, and I'm not ready to give up on him. To let him go…" the NCIS agent's voice was steadier now, like she was finding a new determination in her own words. "He is… Deeks is too important to me. He's my partner, my… my best friend. He is…"

Nell smiled, kindly, with a knowing expression. "I know," she simply said, aware that it was a big statement. "And this is why I know that you're not going to give up on him. If there's someone who can get through to him, that person is you. And you only. Because, trust me, it doesn't matter how messed up he is, he still cares about you, more than he cares for himself and he would do anything for you. He has just to… see things under a different perspective. He needs someone to tell him that he needs help; that he's wasting his life."

"But he shut me off! He pushed me away when I went to talk to him. He even yelled at me and he has never done that before."

"And when did something like this stop you, Kensi? Maybe I don't know you as well as Deeks knows you, but I know, no I am sure, that if you have something in mind, no one is able to stop you," the petite analyst locked her hazel eyes on Kensi's mismatched ones, nodding. "No one!"

A little smile curved the agent's lips as she shook her head, closing her eyes. "I wish it could be so easy, Nell…"

"I can imagine that it's not easy, but you only have to ask yourself a question. Is it worth it?" Once again, Nell paused, letting her words sink into her friend's mind. "Is Deeks worth fighting for? You know the answer better than anyone else." She patted the other woman's hand, lightly. "Don't waste your chance to be happy, Kensi. If the answer to this question is yes, then fight, with everything you have, because the train to happiness, to true and fulfilling happiness, passes only one time in your life. Be sure to catch it…" and with that, she got up and started walking away towards the stairs that led back to the main floor of the Mission.

Kensi bit her lower lip, playing with her hands, nervously reflecting on her friend's words. _Is he worth it? Is Deeks worth fighting for? _The questions echoed in her brain as her heartbeat increased his pace. "Nell!" she called, before the petite woman disappeared from her view.

"Yes?"

The female agent flashed a little and faint smile. "Thank you," she said firmly, as something had clicked inside, like she finally saw things in the right perspective.

A big smile spread across Nell's satisfied face. "You're welcome," she nodded and, turning on her heels, she left.

Kensi took a long breath, inhaling deeply. She didn't care about what Hetty wanted her to do. She was not ready to get a new partner, not while Deeks was out there, waiting for someone to help him. "He's worth fighting for. He's damn worth it!" She got up, with a new determination filling every cell of her body, knowing for the first time in days what she wanted to do. Her lips curled into a soft grin as she walked out of the gym.


	8. Chapter 8

New chapter today. As always I would like to spend a few seconds thanking everyone who is still with me. I truly appreciate it.

And my most sincere thank you, to Xwing12, because she's just precious!

And just for the record, are you all still alive after the first two episodes of S5? I truly hope so ;)

* * *

Going Under - Chapter 8

It was getting dark and the long shadows of the evening were starting to make their appearance. The lonely figure of a man, dressed in jeans and a leather jacket, walked along the crowded street, melting among the different kinds of people that were gathered at the fish market.

The man checked nonchalantly behind his back before turning left into a deserted alley. He checked again before opening the door that led inside a little warehouse full of crates and boxes.

He waited a few minutes so his eyes could adjust to the darkness, then he moved with steady pace towards a little office situated in the farthest corner of the building. He sat at the desk without turning the light on.

He didn't know how long he'd been there when he picked up his phone to check the time. "Of course, he's late," he murmured annoyed. "He is always late."

"Actually I've been in this office for the past 40 minutes waiting for you to notice my presence. You're getting rusty…" a familiar voice told the man with a hint of irony. It was the voice he knew very well, but there was something different in it this time.

"Deeks," the man replied, angry at himself because he didn't realize the other man was already there.

"Bates," Deeks greeted his LAPD boss, flashing a smile as he turned the lamplight on. "About time you showed up."

The Lieutenant studied the younger man, frowning at his appearance. He really looked the part of a junkie. He would have been fooled himself if he didn't know what was going on. His eyes landed on Deeks' and something caught his attention, something he couldn't put a finger on, but it unsettled him, putting him on edge.

"Not everyone can wander around doing nothing… like you do. I have some business to take care of," he smirked cunningly, before adding, "You're little Ninja boss kept me very busy."

The detective's expression hardened at the mention of Hetty. His jaw clenched and he had to fight hard not to make a harsh remark. "I hope she kicked your ass…" he smirked, before turning serious. "And technically, she's not my boss. Not anymore since she fired me."

"Well, that was all part of the plan. You shouldn't be surprised."

A dark shadow veiled Deeks' eyes as he was unable to hide his sorrow. "Yeah, it was part of the plan," he admitted, reluctantly.

Bates could see how this story had affected the younger man. He knew that the detective belonged to NCIS. He had witnessed it himself, so he was aware that this operation was particularly hard and heavy for him. "So, you're in."

"Yeah, they believed me…" Deeks' hand trembled as he passed it through his unruly hair. He felt so sick, but he knew that he needed to stay focused. "Lara told me she is going to call me once she had thought of a plan of action. It's up to you now. You have to let them get the drug when they come for it."

The lieutenant studied the man in front of him, sensing that something was not right with him. "Are you ok, Deeks? You look like shit!"

The detective chuckled bitterly. "Never been better!" he stated, aware that his boss would not fall for his lie.

"Do you have any idea of who is their contact at LAPD? If there is really one…"

"No, we didn't go that far. I think they only wanted to see if they could trust me… and I think I fooled them," Deeks took a deep breath to fight his dizziness. "I think I need to keep an eye on Larry DeBon though. He doesn't like the way his sister is acting around me." A cunning grin curved his lips, but it died immediately when a little noise reached his ears. In a blink of an eye, he had his gun in his hand as Bates did the same.

"Is this the way you welcome a friend?" a rough, deep voice greeted them.

"I think you've never been in my friend list…" the younger cop said. "And I don't even follow you on Twitter!"

"Always a smartass," the man replied, ironically.

"Granger, you know you should contact me first if you want to meet with any of us!" Bates holstered his gun and scolded the other man.

"Bates, this is my operation and I can do whatever I want with it. I hope that is clear enough!" Granger rebuked the Lieutenant, sounding very annoyed. "I only hope Shaggy here doesn't screw up things and, especially, that he is able to control what's in his pants!"

Deeks' fists curled as he tried to control his anger. He had hated this whole operation since the beginning and he hated it even more, right now. Everything had started more or less at the end of the Weigman's case. Granger had come to him telling him that he needed him for a joint operation between LAPD and NCIS. The Assistant Director had pointed out that there had been illicit trafficking of drugs on board of the USS Constellation, but no one had been able to find out who was behind them. Someone at NCIS was probably covering it. The name of Petty Officer Dave Randall came under their radar relatively soon, but the man was not smart enough to be the mind of the whole operation. Someone else was probably behind it.

In the meantime, LAPD noticed that there was a leak in their system. Someone on the inside was supplying information about confiscated drugs to an unknown organization and once again, Randall's name popped out.

For this reason, Granger decided to ask Bates for his support in terms of men and resources and especially, he wanted one man. Deeks.

The plan was pretty easy. Deeks had to find his way through the organization and to do it, he needed to sound very desperate, ready to do anything, even selling information. So he simply became a drug addict who had spent all of his money to buy his fix. He made contact with Rollie Ramirez, one of the most famous and known drug dealers in the whole of Los Angeles. In this way, everyone knew about his addiction and his problems.

With Randall's death, which was not planned and took them all by surprise, a big door opened in front of the cop, especially when the right information had been exposed to the team and Hetty was forced to fire him. They hoped that the mole in the NCIS office could take advantage of this and suggested his partners to use Deeks' experience and knowledge to obtain what they want. And so it happened and Lara Mosley, aka Lara DeBon contacted him.

And so he was in.

"Feeling jealous, Assistant Director?" the blond cop remarked ironically as he put away his own gun. "And if I remember correctly, you have been pretty eager to drag _Shaggy_ here into this damn operation… because your agents couldn't play the part as well as I could. Your words, not mine!"

"Stop being an ass, Deeks, and tell me what you have found out so far!" Granger snapped, very irritated by the cop's attitude.

Deeks moved towards a chair in the corner of the office and sank into it. His legs were shaking and he was literally exhausted. His head was still pounding madly and his stomach still needed time to settle down. "Lara contacted me yesterday, offering me a daily supply of heroin to fulfill my needs in exchange of information, for now, about the drug that we got from Weigman. It seemed that Randall was supposed to provide them with some intel to get it, but he was stupid enough to want to play solo, selling the heroin to Ramirez before he actually got the drug and, double crossing Lara and her brother." He passed a hand through his hair, realizing for the first time, how much he was trembling. "She wanted to be sure she could trust me, so let's just say that I had to play a little… I gave her the location of the secret warehouse and so she believed that I was ready to do anything for her."

Bates couldn't stop staring at his undercover agent. The young man looked tired, pale, almost at the end of his rope. Something was definitely off with him.

"What about the mole? And the trafficking on the Constellation?" Granger pressed, uncaring of Deeks' growing distress.

The cop took a couple of deep breaths, then went on talking, "Lara said that they have an inside man at a Federal Agency, but she didn't tell me which one or who the man is, but she was adamant in saying that she needed the drug as soon as possible so that they could start distributing it. She talked about not more than a week…"

"The Constellation is due to leave in five days. There must be someone on board who is taking care of the business, now that Randall is dead!" the Assistant Director muttered angrily, not satisfied by the information he was getting.

"Callen and Sam went to talk to Randall's buddies, but they didn't get anything out of them." Deeks' mind wandered to his team, to the people he considered friends and he could not suppress a shiver, imagining what they were thinking of him right now. For sure, he put up a hell of a show at the boatshed the other day, no one doubted him. He buried his face in his hands, suddenly feeling very lonely. This operation was costing him a lot, maybe too much.

"Bates, you get ready to allow the DeBon's siblings to steal the drug from your storage. I don't know how, but you have to let it look like you didn't expect it at all, like it's a surprise." Granger moved his attention to Deeks. "And you, do what you can do at your best. Get into the woman's good books. I don't know how you do it, just do it. Force her to trust you enough so she will reveal the name of the people on her payroll. All I want is that bastard… the way to get him doesn't matter. Not at all." His eyes were as cold as stone as he talked to the cop, locking his stare on his, unable to read him though.

"Always very coherent…" Deeks chuckled sarcastically. "I thought you said that I should control what's inside my pants, but now you're telling me to use it to get the information you need. To get your man…"

The Assistant Director slammed his hands on the desk, losing for a moment his self-control. "You better behave, Deeks, because when this will be over, you might not have a job anymore! Not at NCIS, at least…" he smirked cunningly, pleased of himself and of his threat.

"For your information," the detective's voice lowered and was filled with sadness, something very unusual for him. His eyes were a of a dark blue, full of anger. "I don't have a job with NCIS anymore and when this whole operation is over, I will have lost the respect and the trust of the people I considered friends. They are already disgusted by me and when this is all finished, they won't want to have anything to do with me, because I betrayed their trust. So yes… you have already ruined my life! There's nothing more for you to ruin." He paused, inhaling deeply, feeling his head spinning. "I didn't do this for you or for any of you bureaucrat. I did it because I felt it was right, because it was a way to stop people from getting hurt or even killed, so please don't show up at any meetings in the future. If I find anything valuable, I will call Bates and he will contact you. For now, we're done!"

Granger's lip twitched. No one ever talked to him like this. Well, maybe only Hetty did, but she was Hetty. The man had got guts, no kidding. He had got nerves to do this job and to do it well. Hell, who was he kidding? Detective Marty Deeks was damn good at his job or he wouldn't be still alive after all those years. That little miniature of a Ninja got it right again. "Sounds fair enough." He nodded, hoping to maintain his composure, the appearance of power he pretended to have on the cop. "I'll be waiting for a call, but remember, I expect you to give me results and to give them soon." With that, he turned on his heels and walked away.

"That man makes me look like an angel…" Bates stated with a smile, lightening his face.

"He's a son of a bitch who only needs to feel in charge to be satisfied, but…" Deeks tried to get up, but his legs failed him. He would have fallen to the ground if the other man hadn't supported him.

"Jeeze, Deeks, you look like hell! Are you sure you're ok? I understand to play the part and to stay in the role, but…" the lieutenant noticed the other man's arms and finally everything was clear. "She gave you a shot, didn't she? That's why you're so messed up!"

Deeks chuckled, flashing a grin. "One thing is having shots of vitamins mixed with minimum amounts of drug that leaves a mark just for the show. Another one is getting a real shot. I… thought I was done with that shit, but I was wrong, damn it." He felt his head spinning, but he tried to wriggle from his boss' grip.

"Don't be stupid. You can't go anywhere in this condition!" Bates couldn't stop feeling sorry for the younger man. The two of them never got along smoothly, but he respected Deeks as a cop and as an undercover agent. He always knew what to do to get the job done, but even the best had a breaking point and he feared that Deeks might be getting to it very quickly. "Come on, I'll drive you home. You can always say that you hitched a ride if someone is watching you. My car is a rental one."

"I would like to decline your offer, but I don't think I can move more than a few steps on my own," slurred the detective. He was trying to move when his eyes rolled behind and he fainted in Bates' arms.

The lieutenant checked immediately on him and when he felt a strong heartbeat under his fingers, he released the breath he was holding. "Damn it, Deeks! Why do you always have to do things so well and so believable?" He grabbed the younger man under his shoulders and guided him outside. "Come on, I've got you. Let's get you home!"

* * *

"I'm confused…" Sam murmured staring at the big plasma screen in the bullpen.

"What makes you so confused?" His partner was drinking a cup of coffee sitting at his desk, frowning.

"This whole case. There are too many players, too many scenarios. I think I'm losing myself in it!" The big man looked a bit frustrated, something that didn't happen very often. Even if he didn't want to show it, this whole story with Deeks had affected him much more than he had ever imagined. He shouldn't be feeling like this. He shouldn't feel sorry for the cop. He should be mad at him, and mad only, but deep inside, the shaggy haired detective's words and the conversation with his partner had unsettled him. Probably, too much. And now, he couldn't focus on the case as much as he wanted.

"Ok then, let's start from the beginning," Nell intervened, walking towards them with Eric at her heels.

"Yes, let's start from the beginning," Kensi's voice startled everyone, since none of them expected her to be here.

Callen nodded to her, curling his lips in an acknowledging smile. "So, let's talk about of what we have so far."

Eric worked on his tablet and started talking. "We have Petty Officer Dave Randall. Dead. Execution style. He was found dead with some heroin in his pocket. Heroin that he wanted to sell to Rollie Ramirez, even if he was probably in league with a notorious scunbag, like Larry DeBon!"

Sam observed Kensi, noticing her wince when the name of Ramirez was mentioned. It was clear that she was thinking about Deeks right at that moment.

"So we might presume that he was planning on getting the whole cake for himself and when DeBon found out about it, he killed him," the team leader stated gravely.

"But according to what Ramirez said, Randall had some connection, some friends at LAPD that could help him to get the drug that was in custody with the Police at that point, so it's possible that with Randall's death, DeBon won't be able to get the heroin…" Nell pointed out.

"Yes… that could be an option," Sam muttered a bit distracted, probably because he was thinking of the possible scenarios. "Or he could find someone else who could help him to get the drug. For what we know so far, DeBon is like a mastiff with a bone. He won't give up until he is satisfied."

"And this takes us back to Randall's friends. DeBon might keep in touch with them. In this way, he could get the heroin and continue on with his trafficking." Callen turned to face Eric with a questioning look. "Do you have news on that front? Anything that could lead us to them?"

"No, nothing. Our only possible match was Lionel Jarvis, Randall' ex-girlfriend's brother, but you cleaned him up from every kind of accusation." The tech told him, not very happy because they were at a dead end.

"There must be something more than this. We can't have nothing to get a grip on," Kensi spoke for the first time since she arrived at the bullpen. She was fixating on the plasma screen, but her mind was wandering miles away. "I know that we are not seeing this case in its entirety, I can feel it. We're missing something!"

Callen nodded, sharing the same sensation. "Yeah, I think we're focusing on the wrong angle on this. We may need to change perspectives…"

"What do you mean, G? What perspective?" the ex-Seal frowned, narrowing his eyes.

"Randall…" Kensi suddenly spoke, out of nowhere. "Of course!"

"Kensi, what are you talking about? I don't get it…" Eric asked confused.

"We assumed that Randall's role was simply to purchase the drug and then to give it to DeBon. What if his role was a little bit different? What if he was more… active?" The female agent explained her idea, still not sure, herself, where she was going.

After she had finished talking, Nell moved Sam aside and started working on his computer, pressing one key after another, with complete dexterity.

The ex-Seal, Callen and Eric exchanged a puzzled look, not sure of what she was doing, while Kensi had her eyes locked on the screen, studying Randall's face intently.

After what seemed like a lifetime, the petite analyst slammed her hand on the desk. "I knew it!" she almost shouted. Her expression couldn't hide her satisfaction.

"Nell?" Eric looked at his partner in crime, a bit startled by her reaction.

"I knew that there was something else… something we missed but was very important!" she exclaimed with her eyes still on the screen of Sam's laptop.

"Ok, so what did we miss?" wondered Callen with a little note of anxiety in his voice.

"Five months ago there was a little problem on board the USS Constellation. You all know that is the ship which Randall was working on for the last two years." She waited to have the rest of the team's attention before going on. "The ship was docked at Abu Dhabi for a technical stopover and according to the military report, there was a shooting involving a local gang. There were no victims and no one was badly wounded…"

"And this is important because…?" it was Sam's turn to be puzzled, not understanding where the petite analyst was going or how all of this might be useful for their case.

"Just wait, the interesting part is still to come," a cunning grin brightened up Nell's expression.

"The gang members didn't talk a lot, but one of them who wanted some sort of immunity, said that they were simply trying to retrieve some goods one of the Officers promised them as a part of a big deal for which they spent a lot of money," she said triumphantly.

"And I bet these… goods might be a certain amount of drugs, am I right?" Callen was starting to see something interesting in what he was hearing.

"We have a winner folks!" the analyst joked, continuing in her explanation. "The same man didn't know who their contact on board was or his name, but he gave a description of this man that fit a quarter of the population of the Constellation…"

"But it fits Randall's description as well!" Kensi stated. She was excited that finally something was moving.

"And we have another winner!" This time Nell couldn't stop herself from laughing. "There was an investigation, but the evidence wasn't strong enough, so the case was closed, mostly because no one wanted to put a black mark on the good name of the ship or on the US Navy. Maybe a further and deeper investigation would have saved a lot of trouble to a lot of people."

"So Randall was using the Constellation as a base to sell the drugs, even out of the US. The question is 'Was he alone in this?' He didn't look like someone smart enough to control this kind of business alone," Callen stated, furrowing his brows as he reflected out loud. His eyes studied his partner, knowing how much the ex-Seal hated this development. "You ok, Sam?"

"Yes, I'm good," Sam murmured, not very convincingly. He felt his friend's stare on him, so he tilted his head in sign of defeat. "I mean, no, I'm not ok with this. You know how much I can't stand this kind of thing and after… well…" he couldn't stop his eyes landing on Kensi, feeling a bit guilty.

"Say it, Sam," she replied coldly. "Don't be afraid to say it!"

"Kensi, you know that…" the ex-Seal started, but his teammate interrupted him immediately.

"I know Sam, I know that you feel betrayed by… by… what he became, by his behavior, but…" Everyone in the room knew that she was not talking about Randall. Everyone knew she was talking about someone else. Her voice cracked a little and she had to fight hard not to completely lose control on her emotions. A hand on her shoulder prevented her from going on, understanding how hard all of this was for her.

"It's ok, Kens," the team leader told her, turning her around so he could face her.

Her eyes got teary. Once again, she used all of her strength not to cry. "It's not ok, but… we will make it right. I know that we will fix it. We always do."

Callen smiled at her attempt of keep herself together, in spite of everything. In spite of this whole mess that had touched her deeply.

"Yeah, we'll fix things. I promise you, but first, we have to keep our minds focused on the case. Do you think you're up for this?"

Kensi simply nodded, her throat too knotted to talk.

"Good…" the team leader nodded resolutely. "Ok, Sam and I will go to the Constellation again and we'll try to find out something more, something we didn't find the first time."

"Yeah, we'll turn it upside down, but we have to find who was helping Randall and how they were doing their dirty traffics!" A fierce determination was clearly written on Sam's expression as he straightened up, getting ready to move.

"You two, continue with your research. We need to find who was Randall's connection!" Callen instructed the two techs, who nodded without adding a single word. "Kensi, you can…" he was still speaking when Hetty's appearance interrupted him.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Callen, but Miss Blye and I have something to finish…" the Operations Manager locked her eyes on Kensi's mismatched ones, reading her disappointment.

"Hetty, I don't think I…"

"Miss Blye, it's not negotiable." She turned her attention to the rest of the team. "You all have something to do as well, so please, do it. I want results and I want them as soon as possible! Miss Blye, please follow me."

Callen and Sam exchanged a glance, shaking their head. Hetty was usually on their side, doing what was the best for them, but they both couldn't understand why she wanted so badly to find Kensi a new partner, so soon. They sighed, knowing that the diminutive woman's master plan was impossible to understand for them, so they took another deep breath and walked away. Eric and Nell did the same.

"Miss Blye, I'm waiting." Hetty repeated, showing Kensi the way to her office.

The female agent knew that she couldn't escape. "Oh heck, Hetty. Ok… let's do it. The sooner, the better!" and with that, she rushed towards her boss' office. Thousands of different thoughts crossed her mind, but only one was clear - Deeks.


	9. Chapter 9

I would like to thank everyone who is still with me, I know this story is heavy... but this is me and I can't change who I am.

And as always a big big thank you to Xwing12 for her precious help.

Now, up with the new chapter. Just a warning. This is going to be a **M**-rated chapter, for more than one reason.

* * *

Going Under - Chapter 9

He cracked an eye open, trying to understand where he was. His head was still pounding, but the pain was a bit more manageable than he remembered. His eyes caught a glance of the bedside table and the clock on it. Finally, everything was clearer.

Memories started to come back to Deeks' mind, as he remembered the meeting with Bates and Granger. He had some unfocused flash of what happened after that and of his LAPD boss driving him home. If only he knew how long he had been sleeping, though…

Forcing his uncooperative body to move, he tried to push himself into a sitting position, but the room started spinning and he immediately felt sick.

"Oh crap…" he murmured, closing his eyes to keep his unsettled stomach under control. "Nice job, Marty boy…"

After several minutes, Deeks allowed himself to open his eyes again and at least, things seemed a little better. Inhaling deeply, he got up and walked towards the bathroom. He truly needed to take a shower. He hoped it would take the results of the rough day he had away from his system and that the hot water could take away all of his guilt and sense of loneliness. This was the part of every undercover assignment that he truly hated. But this time, it was ten times worse. This time, he was truly alone and he could not even hide behind an alias. This time he was more exposed. He was Marty Deeks, not another one of those guys he hated so much.

He took off his clothes, letting them fall to the floor and went into the shower allowing the water to flow over his naked body. At first it was cold, but slowly it became hotter and hotter. He didn't seem to care, lost in his thoughts, his mind filled with images and voices he wanted to forget.

When his skin became an intense red color, the cop decided it was time to get out. The room was filled with steam and he had to clean the mirror to look at his face. The sight almost shocked him. He barely recognized himself. Bloodshot eyes with dark circles under them were staring at him. They were so empty, so emotionless… so lost. Haunted. His fingers traced the line of his face as he wanted to be sure that the man reflected in the mirror was truly him. "You look like shit," he told himself, smiling bitterly. "A real junkie."

His eyes studied his arms and the needle marks signing them. The doctor who had given him the fake shots did a great job, making it look like an inexperienced hand had done that. But it was the mark of the last shot he gave himself, the real one, that caught his eyes. He was still red and inflamed, a sick reminder of what he had been forced to do. It was not the first time that he had taken that shit during an operation, but this time it was different. This time it felt so bad, worse than any other time. He had never felt like this… like a traitor. Sam's and Callen's words were still stuck in his head, along with Kensi's shocked expression. If only they knew, maybe they… no, even when they found out that it had all been an act, they will never see him as they had seen him before. He will always be a traitor to them and his career with NCIS will be over, for real this time.

A sense of void, of deep and consuming loneliness, grew inside of him. This bloody operation had cost him everything: his friends, the family he was finally finding his place in and the sense of belonging… Kensi. He had lost everything he had cared for, but he didn't have any doubt. He would do it all over again, because it was so important. This operation might save a lot of lives and protect innocent people. Making a difference for them was what mattered to him. Nothing else… well, maybe, almost nothing else.

Taking a deep breath, he cast one last glance at his reflection in the mirror and walked out of the bathroom, right when his phone rang. Deeks didn't have any recollection of the ID, but he picked it up anyway.

"I see you're awake." It was a voice he recognized immediately and that put him on edge.

"Lara… I didn't think I would hear from you so soon," he replied, trying to talk nonchalantly, and ignoring the aching of his whole body.

"Why, I'm wounded by this lack of faith," Lara murmured, amused. "We need to talk."

"When do you want to meet?" the cop asked, passing a still shaking hand through his wet hair. He was not looking forward to this meeting, but he knew that this was how things were supposed to be. There was not going back from this point.

There was a pause on the other end of the phone until she said, barely hiding her excitement, "Just open the door."

Deeks felt a pang in his stomach. Was she really out there? He moved slowly towards a window and cast a look outside. Her slender silhouette appeared in front of his eyes.

"Right… perfect…" he muttered, absolutely disappointed. He was not ready for this, not now. Swallowing hard and biting his lip nervously, he walked towards the door and opened it. "You don't waste any time," he told her, smiling.

Lara's expression brightened up at the sight of him, naked to the waist with simply a white towel covering the lower part of his body. His hair, still wet, dripped down on his shoulders and back.

"I don't like wasting my time." She put a hand on his chest and pushed him inside, moving dangerously closer.

"I can see that," his voice lowered as he pretended to be amused by her attention. He shivered when her long, manicured fingers, touched his bare skin.

Lara moved even closer. Her face just a few inches away from his. Her lips were brushing his.

"Mmmm, you know Marty, I have something for you. Something you're going to like…" Her hands moved to his hair, playing with it while she guided his mouth towards her and kissed him, avidly, almost with voracity. She was expecting this since the first moment her eyes had landed on him.

Even if his stomach protested, Deeks played along and held her closer, kissing her back. When they finally broke apart, he stared at her with a smirk on his face. "I like what you had to offer me," he dragged her inside, closing the door behind them.

She laughed out loud, tilting her head backwards allowing him to kiss her neck. "This is not…" she said between a pleasured moan and another. Her whole body was almost ready to explode. "…everything I had for you." With a quick movement, she took something out from her pocket.

The cop froze when he recognized the object and he tried to distract Lara with more kisses, but she was very determined. She pushed him to the couch, making him lie down and she put herself on top of him.

"Don't worry, Marty, just relax." She took his nervousness as a sign of trepidation, of expectation. She worked on the towel around his waist while she started undressing herself. "I know how much you need this to be focused and I want you more than focused… here, with me and later, when you'll have to do your job." She was already in her underwear, still sitting on his lap. Her bra was easily removed and she guided his hands towards her breast.

Deeks played along, touching and playing with her nipples and cupping her breast, roughly, sensing her shivering under his touch, but his heart was beating madly. His eyes couldn't leave the object that she had just put in her mouth. "Please…" he whispered, sounding desperate, hating himself for this.

"Oh Marty, Marty, Marty…" she said taking away the object from her mouth. "Relax now. Soon, you'll feel great." She took his arm and before the cop could even realize it, she uncapped the needle of the syringe she was holding and was plunging it in the crook of his elbow.

He winced as the needle pierced his skin and the heroin mixed with his blood. An intense hot sensation engulfed his whole body. He knew what was coming soon, the sense of peace, of fake safety the drug was going to give him, but even the sense of powerlessness he was going to experience around Lara. Deeks closed his eyes, hoping to get some control, but it was too late since the drug was already pumping in his system. He bit his lip as he felt her hands moving along his body.

"It's good, isn't it? Now… let's have some fun…" She kissed him on his lips first, almost with violence as she wanted to show him who was in charge. Her breasts were brushing his chest as her legs were clenched around his waist.

Her lips started the exploration of his whole body that had completely lost its control.

The cop fell at Lara's mercy, but he couldn't do anything about it. He felt his desire grow and even if he tried to restrain himself, there was really nothing he could do.

She used this to her advantage when she felt his man-part react to her, she knew she had reached her goal. He was completely in her power and there was nothing she enjoyed more than having the power and the control. A big grin curved her lips and she allowed herself to satisfy her needs…

* * *

Kensi watched as Hetty rummaged through the folders, ready to bring one to her attention. She wanted to be anywhere else, but here. She hated this task, with all of her whole self.

"Miss Blye, I know you don't like to be here, but I thought that you could at least act professionally," the Operations Manager told her without even looking at her. Her head was still in the papers in her hands. "All of these agents are highly qualified, with a high level of training. They are perfect for the job."

Her agent stared at her with an annoyed face, unable to hide her disappointment.

"They might be the best agents ever but… but…" Once again, the words died in her throat. Why was it so difficult? She had never been like this, so emotional, so affected by something.

Hetty's lips curled into a wry smile. "They are not Mr. Deeks. That is what you wanted to say, isn't it?"

Kensi bowed her head, mad at herself for being so easy to read. "I don't understand Hetty. I thought you said you didn't want to give up on him. You pushed me not to give up on him and now… now you're forcing me to find someone else to take his place! Sorry, but I don't get it."

"I never said I am giving up on Mr. Deeks, not as a man, as a person or as a human being. That would never happen."

"But that is exactly what you're doing, Hetty! You are giving up on him as an agent, as a cop, as a liaison… whatever he is… was… and in doing so, you're giving up on him, as a person. Because Deeks is… he is…" Kensi took a deep breath and closed her eyes, hoping to find the right words. "He is a cop at heart. The man and the cop are the same person, by neglecting one of them, you neglect them both."

The Operations Manager was still smiling, softly this time. "I am sure Mr. Deeks will be very happy to know what you think of him," she stated calmly, shaking her head, pleased. Her eyes moved to the folders on her desk. She moved them all, taking the last one at the bottom, giving a quick glance to it and nodding gravely. "I think you will find my choice interesting…" she handed the folder to her agent who frowned, puzzled.

"But Hetty, I thought that…" her trembling hands took the folder away from her boss' hands. "Never mind, I think you have already made your decision and I can't do anything to change it!" There was a little hint of irony and of anger in her voice.

Hetty's smile grew even wider after her reaction. "Just open it, I think you might be surprised,"

Kensi was getting frustrated and even angrier. How could Hetty be so obtuse? Why didn't she want to see it? With rage, she opened the yellow folder and started reading it. Her fury suddenly disappeared when she saw the first sheet. "But… how… you said that…"

"I never said anything, Miss Blye. I was simply giving you different suggestions, until I came across this file and I think this person might be the perfect partner for you." A foxy grin lightened the Operations Manager's expression. "You should learn to let me finish before coming to any conclusion." She watched as the surprise left space for a happy grin on her agent's face.

She couldn't believe it. Kensi had been so mad at Hetty until one minute ago and now, she only wanted to hug her as she read the name on the paper: Martin A. Deeks, the perfect fit for a partner.

"I wanted to be sure that you didn't change your mind, Kensi. I never thought to give you another partner. I knew it was too soon. And I'm not suicidal…" the diminutive woman winked cunningly, enjoying herself and the whole situation.

"Yeah, but… how… how could it be possible to get him back? You fired him and he doesn't want to be helped!"

"Miss Blye, I didn't fired him technically, because he's not a NCIS employee. Let's say that I simply sent him behind the blackboard to think about his mistakes," Hetty was pleased to see a smile reach her agent's eyes.

"You're incredible Hetty… I… I don't know what to say. I… thank you!" Kensi exclaimed unable to contain her happiness, but her joy didn't last too long though.

"What's wrong?"

"How… how can you help someone who doesn't want to be helped? Someone who has shut you off?" the younger woman asked with a feeble voice.

"Kensi, how did Mr. Deeks help you when you didn't want to be helped? How did he find his way through your shields?" the Operations Manager asked in her usual calming and knowing tone. Her agent couldn't suppress a chuckle.

"You always know what to say, don't you?"

"I wouldn't be doing my job if I was not ready for every inconvenience." Hetty's expression became serious. "You are the only person who can get through to him, because you are the only person he respects more than anything in the whole world. He trusts you and mostly he cares for you, more than he cares for himself. I have already told you this. Use this advantage you have on him to bring him back. I know it won't be easy, that it might be painful, but I think it might be worthy and the reward most satisfying."

"I think you might be right." Kensi felt a sense of new determination flowing through her body. Now that she was sure that no one was going to take Deeks' place. It was up to her, for real now, and she could not fail. Not at all. Maybe it was time she pay a visit to her partner again. In one way or another she will convince him to ask for help and to come back to her. "Thanks Hetty," she said, getting up and leaving her boss' office.

Hetty watched her disappear from her sight, nodding. "Good luck, Miss Blye. And please, bring him back."

* * *

Deeks woke up, lying on the cold floor of his living room. Sweat covered his naked, shivering body. His throat was so dry that it felt like a desert.

He sensed the presence of a warm, definitely female body pressed against him and immediately remembered what had happened. He couldn't stop himself from feeling dirty.

He got up and uncaring of finding some clothes to wear, he walked towards the fridge, opened it and took a bottle of water. He was so thirsty that he didn't stop until he had almost finished the entire bottle. Damn heroin side effects, he muttered to himself, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. His mind was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't realize that Lara had woken up and was standing behind him, pressing her naked body against him, hugging him tightly.

"You should have woken me up," she whispered to him, kissing his back over and over.

"I was… I needed some water," Deeks wanted this to end as soon as possible, but she didn't have any intention to let him go. Her probing and curious hands were touching his chest, making him swallow hard.

With a quick movement, she turned him around, staring at his blue eyes with her avid black orbs. Her tongue played with her lips and once again, she started kissing him. First on his lips, pushing her tongue inside his mouth in a dominant way. Then, she moved to his neck and to his naked chest. "I love these scars," she said, as she toyed with the scars of the gunshot wounds. "I really love them."

"Lara, no… this is not… the right moment. I… I need to take a shower and… we have to discuss… about the job…" he babbled as he grew uncomfortable under her touch.

"There's still some time," she said as she knelt in front of him continuing her exploration with her lips and tongue.

He grabbed the counter with both of his hands until his knuckles whitened for the effort, attempting to control his body, but it was getting harder and harder. Hell, it was impossible!

"Lara, please…" The cop felt really bad, but he couldn't do anything other than play along.

Lara slowly stood up without stopping what she was doing, then placed his hands on her butt, forcing him to support her as she slid her legs around his waist. She felt him react when she started toying with his hair, gluing her lips to his mouth, with voracity and almost violence, taking his breath away. "I want to feel you inside me, Marty. I want you to make me scream as you did before… do it Marty, do it and I will give you another fix." Her tongue was pushing inside his mouth assessing the sense of power, of possession, then she bit his lips, his neck, allowing his own mouth to start exploring her body. "Fuck me, Marty!" she ordered, almost yelling.

Something clicked inside of Deeks' mind as anger and rage almost overwhelmed him. A wave of unexpected emotions rushed through his vein as he decided to do what she wanted him to do to her. His hands started touching her roughly, with increasing strength as he pumped inside her. He was determined to give her what she wanted.

"This is what you want, Lara?!" he told her between ground teeth while he pushed her against the opposite wall, slamming her back hard against it. He could hear her moan with increasing pleasure as her nails dug into his skin, but he didn't care. In that moment, he only wanted to have her, to hurt her, to release his frustration on her. In that moment he only wanted to satisfy her and to get what she had promised him. A fix. He hated himself for this, for what he was becoming and he reversed all of his hate against her, knowing that she loved a wild and rough ride. Deeks could feel her body tremble. He could feel her insatiable need as she held tightly around him, kissing and biting him.

He didn't know how long this went on until his pleasure exploded violently and they both cried out and then slowly fell to the ground, exhausted, panting heavily and out of breath.

"Marty… that was amazing…" she murmured, pushing her hair away from her face, still breathing heavily.

The cop didn't reply. He simply got up on his unsteady legs and walked towards the bathroom. He felt so dirty inside. All of this was so wrong. He was not supposed to enjoy this. He was not supposed to fall for her tricks, but his body was starting to crave for a shot and he knew that this was the easiest way to get it. Not to mention that fucking Lara gave him a rush of adrenaline that kept him going. Man, he hated himself so much and he was sure that if his friends, well former friends actually, could see him right now, they would be highly disappointed as well.

Without even looking at his own reflection in the mirror, he went into the shower and turned on the cold water. He waited for it to take away the disgust and the sense of pity he felt for himself.

Twenty minutes later, he walked out of the bathroom, fully clothed and found Lara sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee. She poured a cup for him and offered it to him. Deeks sat in front of her, avoiding eye contact. She slowly reached for his hand and even if he tried to retreat, she stopped him, holding it in hers, with strength, possessively.

"I was not joking Marty. It's been a while since a man took me to that level of pleasure. You're amazing."

He looked at her, feeling sick inside, but again, he needed to keep his façade up, not to compromise himself or his cover.

"You're not that bad either," he smirked cunningly as he let his tongue dance on his lips. "But maybe it's time we talk about work. You said you have a plan…"

Lara smiled, knowing that she had him in her hands. "Yes, but this is not the right place to discuss it." She got up without releasing his hand that was still in her tight grip. "Come on, time to go…" she guided him towards the door, but first, she retrieved her purse and rummaged through it.

Deeks observed her intently, aware of what she was doing. His fingers tickled and clenched in expectation as he closed his eyes attempting to keep his breathing under control. He was starting to feel that the effect of the last shot he had was leaving his system and just the idea of getting another one was making him restless. It was so wrong, so damn wrong, but sadly, he knew that he was failing himself and everything he had always believed in.

Lara turned to face him, showing him a little white packet, dangling it in front of him.

"You earned it, Marty, but you can't have it right now or you will be in withdrawal before we start the operation. Take it for later." She put it in his back pocket leaning towards him and kissing him on his lips as her free hand yanked his hair roughly, tilting his head to one side. "Don't you ever betray me, Marty Deeks. I like you, I really do, but I won't hesitate to kill you if you ever try to screw me over." Her teeth bit his lower lip, making it bleed, then she licked the blood voraciously. "Be good, Marty…" Then she walked away dragging him along with her, through the door and out of his apartment.

* * *

Kensi couldn't hide her nervousness as she drove her car through the streets towards Deeks' apartment. She had done the same route so many times, she didn't even remember how many, but this time, it was different. This time she was a woman on a mission. A very important one. Probably the most important she had ever tried to accomplish. Getting her partner, best friend, whatever Deeks was for her at this point, back.

She took a deep breath when she turned into the familiar neighborhood and the silhouette of his building appeared in front of her eyes. What was she going to do now? What could she tell him to let him allow her to help him? What could she do so he could let her in? Especially after their last encounter. She still had his expression stuck in her mind; the darkness and the coldness in his eyes as he was yelling at her to go away. She hadn't liked that side of Deeks, probably because that man was not her Deeks, the man she had known for almost four years, the man who had found his way through her heart and soul.

Kensi parked her car in her usual spot and as she was getting out of the car, still not sure of her next move, something caught her attention. She saw Deeks moving towards a dark, expensive BMW SUV. He was wearing the same pair of jeans she had seen him wearing the last time they had met and his favorite grey hoodie. He looked tired and his hair was even shaggier than usual.

Her first instinct was to call him, but she stopped when the door of the SUV opened and he jumped inside, disappearing from her view. The engine of the expensive car took life and soon it passed by, next to her. She was not able to see the face of a driver because of the relatively high speed of the BMW, but it was definitely a woman, with long black hair. The moment the SUV was out of her sight, Kensi took out her phone and dialed Ops. "Eric, can you do me a favor? I have a license plate for you… can you run it for me in the system and see if you can follow the car with Kaleidoscope?"

"Yes, of course… is everything ok, Kensi? Where are you?" the tech asked, a bit concerned. His friend had disappeared from the Mission after her talk with Hetty and no one had seen her or heard from her for the last couple of hours until now.

"I… I'm fine Eric. It's… it's personal, I know, I… will tell you everything as soon as I'm back, but please, can you do this for me?" she insisted, knowing that this was just a personal favor she was asking for. It was not related to their case. But on the other end, this was Deeks… and Deeks was, in a certain way, still one of them. "Please…"

"Ok, I'm all ears…" Eric capitulated, sighing, understanding that it was costing her a lot to ask for a favor.

"Black SUV, a BMW, the plate is 7KPR792," she said firmly, taking a long breath, a bit scared of what she could find out.

"Just give me a moment…" Eric replied as he worked on his computer "Ok, the plate is registered to a trading company, the DBL Trading and its owner is… oh crap! Kensi, where are you? Why is the car so important to you?"

Kensi couldn't deny the fact that the tech's answer put her on edge. There was a concerned note in his voce that worried her. "Eric, what's going on? Tell me. Who is the owner of that company?"

Eric took a long breath, before talking again. "Kensi, the company belongs to Larry DeBon."

It was like her world had just gone to pieces. How could it be possible that Deeks was in any way involved with DeBon? She could accept that he had become a drug addict, but being in league with DeBon or with anyone related to him was an entirely different story.

"Kensi, are you still there? Kensi…!" There was an urge in the tech's voice, like he was aware that something was definitely wrong with his friend. "Kensi, where are you?"

"Eric, I… thank you. I… I have to go… please follow the car and let me know." With that, she closed the communication. In auto pilot, she walked towards Deeks' apartment. She didn't know why, but she felt the need to go there, to go inside. It was like she could find the answers to all of her questions in there. She didn't even need to pick the lock of the door, because it was open. The moment she stepped inside she felt a bit like an intruder, but she forced herself to think that it was for the best, that it was for his sake. Her heart beat madly in her chest at the sight of the usually clean and tidy apartment. There were clothes everywhere. Boxes of take-out food scattered all around. Newspapers and magazines were strewn over the floor. She moved to the kitchen to find dirty dishes in the sink and on the table, two mugs of unfinished coffee. A red mark of lipstick was evident on one of them.

Suddenly, she felt a pang in her stomach, like someone had stabbed her. How stupid she had been? How could she even believe that… gah she couldn't even finish her thoughts because she was too mad, at herself, at Deeks, at this damn situation… at everything!

Kensi wandered around the apartment, passing her hand through her hair, until her legs almost failed and she sank onto the couch, burying her face in her hands.

"You're such an idiot, Kensi! Just an idiot!" she murmured between ground teeth, before getting up abruptly.

She had to get out of here, away of this place, but something was stopping her, like an invisible force kept her here, like the need to feel her partner's presence was stronger than her anger. "What the hell are you up to, Deeks? What the hell is going on?"

Her eyes were scanning the messy room when their attention was caught by an object discarded besides the couch. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of the empty syringe, knowing exactly what had been inside of it, what was flowing through Deeks' veins now. Her eyes became teary and her stomach knotted. Until this moment, she had had a little bit of hope that all of this story had been created by her mind, that it was not true, but this little object, a simple little object, made her realize how wrong she had been. Her friend was losing himself to this shit and she didn't have any idea of how she could help him. This hurt her more than anything else.

In a rush of pure instinct, she took out a pair of black latex gloves, picked up the syringe and put it in a plastic bag first. She didn't know why but she felt a bit like a thief doing that… man it was so wrong, going through Deeks' stuff, searching his apartment. Why? Why was all of this happening?

Her phone decided to ring right in that moment, startling her and taking her away from her thoughts. "Eric… hey, tell me you have located the car…" When she didn't get a prompt reply, Kensi understood that Eric was not going to give her good news. She bowed her head, inhaling deeply. "You lost it…"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. It probably entered into an area not covered by Kaleidoscope or by other cameras. The last time it was detected, the SUV was headed North." The tech said, truly sorry.

"It's ok, Eric. Thanks."

"Kensi, are you ok? You sound…" Eric was still talking when his friend interrupted him.

"I'm fine, Eric." A little smile curved her lips the moment the words left her mouth. If Deeks was here, he would have immediately known that she was far from fine, but Deeks was not here. He was out there, with another woman, doing… whatever he was doing, ruining his life.

She felt a lonely tear finding its way on her cheek, but she wiped it away immediately

"Damn it, Deeks! Why can't I hate you?! It would be so simple… at least I'd stop caring for you. At least I'd stop feeling like this…"

She cast one last glance at the apartment before leaving and closing the door behind her. She hoped to close a painful chapter of her life with it. But she couldn't fool herself, it was impossible. It was simply impossible not to care for him.

* * *

Deeks, Deeks, Deeks... what have you done? ;)


	10. Chapter 10

Here I am with a new chapter.

Once again thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, followed or favorited this story. I truly appreciate it.

As always a special thank to Xwing12, because this story would be absolutely worse without her help.

* * *

During the long drive towards the unknown place Lara was taking him, Deeks wanted to stay focused. He wanted to understand where they were going and mostly, he wanted, no, he needed to know what kind of plan her mind had come up with. He was sure that it was all about Weigman's heroin and how to steal it from LAPD's secret warehouse that he pointed out to them. Since the beginning of the whole operation he knew that she was the head of the organization. Her brother was just the face, but she was the real mind behind it, the puppet master. Lara had been so wise, until now, to keep a low profile so the Police or any other agencies of Law Enforcement ignored her presence. This way, she could live her life openly, enjoying every minute of it intensely, without the risk of being chased.

The cop found himself staring at her, at her beautiful form and her delicate profile. She was an angel on the exterior, but with a heart of devil. Not to mention, she was extremely dangerous. If she suspected that he was double crossing her, she would not think twice before killing him. He had to swallow at the thought, because even if he was literally messed up, he didn't have any intention to die. He had told Kensi, once, that he had a natural aversion to death and it was true.

Kensi… he sighed thinking about her. Deeks knew that he had probably lost her, that she would probably hate him by now, but deep inside, she was the only person that he was able to think about right now. She was the only person he truly wanted to sit beside. He missed her, deeply, intensely. He missed the sound of her voice and her laugh. He missed her amazing mismatched eyes that could go through his heart in a way no one could ever do. He missed her scent… he even missed her punches to his shoulder. A little smile curled his lips at the thought, catching Lara's attention.

"Why are you smiling?" she asked him, as she laid a hand on his leg, gently caressing him.

The cop shifted uncomfortably in his seat, trying to escape her touch, doing it nonchalantly to make it look like he was enjoying it. "Just thinking," he murmured, biting his lip.

"Come on Marty, you know you can talk to me, after everything that has happened between us. We're… connected," she spoke softly, but there was a cold-as-stone note in her voice and a shiver ran down Deeks' spine hearing that. She sensed him shaking, imagining that he was starting to feel the effect of the lack of drugs in his system. Her hand moved along his chest to his face, stopping on his hair that she stroked in a mix of tenderness and possessiveness. "I know what you need Marty, I know what your body is craving for, but just try to be patient and soon you'll be rewarded. I promise you…"

The cop took her hand and gently kissed her, trembling slightly. "That's not the only thing my body is craving for…" he intentionally lowered his voice to sound sensual and needy.

A fat laugh echoed in the car. "You're insatiable… mmmm, I love it," she purred moving her fingers down his back and passing them under his hoodie, letting them caress his bare skin under the fabric. "When we're finished with this job, you and I will have a lot of fun!"

Deeks' back arched. Her touch was like electricity that shook his entire system, sending it to overload. "I can't wait…" his voice came out empty, emotionless and he didn't look very convincing.

Lara sensing his discomfort stopped her car on the wayside and removed her seat belt, leaving him puzzled.

"Lara, what…?" he wondered a moment before she grabbed his hoodie and guided him towards her. Her mouth found his lips and, once again, she kissed him voraciously, with vehemence.

"Soon, Marty. Once we get to our destination, we'll talk about the plan. Then I will help you again to get your fix. I enjoyed doing it this morning and I know you enjoyed it too." Her hands yanked his hair, almost painfully, to let him know, if it was not clear enough, who was in charge. "It will be fun…"

The rage grew inside the cop, feeding his anger towards himself, towards her, feeding the hate he felt for himself. This time he released all of it, grabbing her roughly with his arms, pushing her against the backseat and allowing his mouth to cover hers first, then he started biting her neck, burying his face in her breast and squeezing them painfully.

Lara moaned caught by surprise by his violent reaction and a little pleasured whimper escaped from her lips. She bit her lips to control her own body. They had a meeting with her men. They couldn't show up late, but this man was driving her crazy. She pushed his head towards her turgid breasts feeling his stubble grazing them, sending pleasuring shivers through her whole body. With a quick movement, she lifted his head, wanting to kiss him, to sense his lips on her, but the moment she did, her expression was filled with shock. She barely recognized his eyes; the intense and ocean blue of his orbs had become a steely grey. There was so much hatred, so much pain into them that for a moment she was scared. "Marty, we have to stop now…" she tried to push him away, but Deeks didn't seem to hear her.

It was like he was lost in another world and was fighting an inner battle against an invisible enemy.

"Marty, I said stop!" she yelled, suppressing a cry when he bit her nipple, making it bleed.

The cop stopped abruptly, as he woke up from a dream, realizing what he was doing. "I… I… yes… sorry…" he murmured, moving away from her and leaning his head against the car window, his eyes closed.

Lara stretched her arm and caressed his face. "It's ok, Marty… I understand…" she told him, surprising him for the kindness in her words. "I pushed you a little too much and I should have known better with what you're going through…"

_Yeah, what I'm going through,_ Deeks thought angrily. _What I'm becoming! A fuckin' addict!_ His fists clenched tightly while his whole body was shaken by violent trembling.

She leaned towards him, kissing him on the cheek.

"Don't judge yourself and use your anger instead. You'll be highly rewarded later. I promise you."

The cop wanted to shout at her. He wanted to tell her to shut up; that she didn't know anything about him, but he knew that he still had a mission to accomplish and an operation to finish. So swallowing hard, once again, hating himself because of this, he smiled gently, taking her hand in his and kissing it.

"Thank you."

Lara nodded and then started the engine of the car. "Come on, they are waiting for us."

* * *

The rest of the drive had been spent in silence. Deeks simply stared out the window, without putting any attention on what was really outside. He knew it was a mistake. The cop in him screamed, yelled at him to keep an eye on the road, but his mind was too lost in his thoughts. He was so lost in the deep meanders of his foggy brain that he didn't even realize that the car had stopped and that they had reached their destination.

"Come on, the guys are waiting…" she told him, patting him on the arm.

The cop took a deep breath before getting out of the car. His eyes started studying his surroundings, mostly out of habit. They were in a deserted area in the middle of nowhere. An old, crumbling barn stood in front of him. Three other cars were already parked nearby and activity could be seen inside through one of the broken windows.

"Nice place, no kidding. I have to admit that I hoped for a Five Star Hilton Hotel, but I think this could do the trick," he said, nodding skeptically, shaking his head.

"Don't judge a book by its cover…" Lara dragged him towards the barn, smiling cunningly. "You will never know what you might find inside!"

"The story of my life!" muttered Deeks, cursing himself for not paying attention to where they were driving to. He had hoped for some reference point so he could have an idea of where they were, but sadly, his lucky star was not shining over him. "Perfect, this is just perfect…" he whispered to himself.

Lara furrowed her brows, studying him. "Did you say something?"

"Nah, I was just saying that I like this place. It's perfect," he said, ironically, so she could believe he was just joking around. The cop passed a trembling hand through his hair, sighing. "Come on, then. Let's get to the lions' den!"

The woman laughed out loud, amused by his sudden change of behavior. "I love men with a great sense of humor!"

Once they stepped inside, Deeks understood why Lara told him about not being judgmental. The barn was nothing he was expecting. It was fully furnished, like a real house, with even a real kitchen. A big part of it was equipped with computers and other technological stuff that Eric would really love. With the corner of his eyes, he could see a long corridor that led to another part where he noticed what he thought were bedrooms or dormitories. In the farthest corner, a room had been setup as an armory. He didn't have a complete view of what was inside, but he saw a little arsenal, shotguns, guns and grenade launchers. Suddenly, the sound of a sadly familiar voice took him away from his little observation.

"Where the hell have you been? We've been waiting for you for hours!" Larry greeted his sister unable to hide his anger. "And what the fuck is he doing here?"

The cop smiled cunningly, rolling his eyes. "Larry, Larry, Larry… where's the love?" Deeks' expression became suddenly hard and serious as he walked towards the other man. "I have already warned you. I'm not one of these idiots you have around. You better remember that before offending me!"

"Son of a bitch!" DeBon yelled, launching himself towards Deeks, trying to punch him straight in the face, but the cop blocked his blow, grabbing roughly his wrist, turning him around, pushing him against the wall and slamming his face against it with complete violence.

"I think you're a bit hard-of-hearing! I'm here to save your ass, so you better be a little grateful!" the blond detective ground his teeth while talking, putting a lot of effort in keeping the other man steady and immobilized. "I'm going to let you go now. Are you going to behave?"

Larry grunted, mostly embarrassed by the situation and by the fact that the cop had the best on him so easily. "Go to hell, cop!" he muttered angrily.

Deeks pushed his arm a little bit higher, making the other man cry in pain. "Did you hear what I said? Are you going to behave?"

"You will pay for this, you little piece of shit!" DeBon insisted, screaming in agony. "Aaarghh!"

"Marty, enough!" Lara finally intervened, putting a hand on the cop's shoulder, lightly. "Please, Marty. Let him go… I apologize for his behavior."

Deeks turned to face her. His eyes locked on hers. His tongue played with his lips as he slowly released the tight hold on the other man.

"Thank you," she murmured, nodding thankfully as her brother rubbed his sore shoulder. "And you should apologize as well, Larry!"

"No way! I'm not going to apologize to that bloody junkie!" he hadn't finished talking yet that a loud slap reached his face.

"You're such a child, Larry! Marty is here because he can help us with this operation. It's a very important one and he will be able to get us some precious intel from the inside." Lara scolded her brother, attempting to walk away from him, but Larry stopped him, grabbing her elbow roughly.

"I don't trust him, sis. You know my instinct is rarely wrong," he whispered in her ear. His voice was full of venom. "You fucked him, didn't you? That is why you can't think straight." His black eyes stared coldly at his sister. "If you don't want to keep an eye on him because you can't keep your hands in their right place, I will do it for you. Pray that he won't make a wrong move, because this time, you will pay with him. I've had enough of your attitude!" and with that he released her, walking way, not before sending an incinerating glance at the cop. "Watch your back, junkie!"

Lara looked at Deeks, closing her eyes in sign of defeat. "Don't care too much about Larry. He's just an idiot and not to mention jealous. He's so sick that he thinks I'm all his."

"Don't worry, I… I can take care of myself…" Not to live up to what he had just said, the cop started shaking as the need to get a dose was growing inside of him.

"Oh I see…" she caressed his sweaty face. "How are you doing?"

"I'm… good. I can… I can wait a little while longer, but not that much, so you better explain this plan of yours." His trembling fingers moved through his long hair as he licked his lips, in expectation, waiting for her move.

And she didn't let him wait any longer. Lara kissed him quickly and then guided him towards another room. "Come on then, I don't want you to wait longer than you need… I have plans for us."

* * *

During the following hour, as Lara explained her plan, Deeks could only focus on two things, finding a way to alert Bates about the imminent raid and, sadly, getting a fix. He was starting to shake badly and he was sweating profusely. Once in a while he looked for Lara's glance, as he wanted to be reassured that it wouldn't take any longer. His mind was so focused on his goals and on the mere attempt of controlling his uncooperative body, that he didn't notice Larry's cold stare locked on him.

DeBon was angry and furious. No one had ever treated him like the cop had and he couldn't accept it. He didn't care what his sister had told him or how she valued the detective's help in the whole operation. He didn't trust Deeks and mostly, he hated him for the public humiliation he had been subjected to because of the bloody cop.

"You will pay for this, Deeks. Once we get the drugs, I will show you who Larry DeBon is and I will do it in an unforgettable way." A creepy smile curved his lips as he listened to Lara explain every detail of their plan. He really couldn't wait to get his revenge.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't have any idea of who that woman was?" Callen asked her, furrowing his brows as he studied her expression and her posture.

Kensi felt her teammate's scrutinizing eyes on her and she couldn't deny that she was a bit offended.

"This is not what you think," she muttered, with a hint of anger in her voice.

"And what did I mean?" the team leader wondered, lifting his eyebrow skeptically.

"You know… that… I'm not… well… that…" She found it hard to talk coherently. Why was she so angry? Was it because of Callen's silent implication or was it because of Deeks?

"I'm not jealous!" she finally snapped, raising her tone. "There's nothing to be jealous… I mean, seriously, it's Deeks. He can see whoever he wants. I'm just worried because of the fact that the car was linked to Larry DeBon. I wouldn't like to see him entangled in some bad affairs. Deeks is my partner and…"

"He's not your partner anymore, Kensi," Sam intervened, almost scolding her. "Hetty fired him!"

"But he's still my friend!" This time Kensi almost yelled, releasing her frustrations. "And… I don't want him to get hurt. That's it." Her voice softened as she sighed heavily.

The two senior agents exchanged a worried look. They had hoped that their younger teammate could move on, leaving Detective Marty Deeks behind her, but they realized that it was impossible. There was much more than simple partnership between them - it was very clear.

Callen was opening his mouth to add something when Eric's whistle prevented him from doing so. "Guys, you better come and see this."

The three agents were surprised by the lack of humor in the tech's voice and his dark expression. Something really bad must have happened and this worried them all.

When they walked into Ops, they found Nell and Hetty waiting for them. Their faces were even darker than the tech's.

"What happened?" Sam asked, standing right in front of the big screen. Callen took place next to him, while Kensi leaned against the big table.

"We just received a disturbing call from LAPD," Hetty surprised everyone, talking first. Usually she left the first explanation to the techs. Things must be really bad if she did that. "Someone sneaked into one of their evidence depots and stole something…"

"And this is so important because…?" the team leader wondered, dubiously.

"Because that something was the heroin from the Weigman's case. Mr. Beale, please," the Operations Manager instructed and the tech immediately worked on his tablet.

"A well organized and heavily armed commando burst into a LAPD storage facility near the Marina last night. In less than an hour, they stole all the drugs that LPAD had requisitioned during the infamous op in which Deeks was involved. They immobilized the guards, got inside, took the drug and then disappeared without leaving any trace." Eric pressed a key on his tablet and blurred images from a video-camera appeared on screen, showing eight men wearing ski masks, jumping out of three black vans and running into the warehouse. There was no audio, but it was clear what had happened next.

"The guards had been hit by tranquilizers and sent unconscious. All of them, even the ones positioned as back-up. They are all in the hospital being checked out, but they are going to be ok." Nell intervened, sitting at her desk.

"They are professional and they move like a patrol," Sam stated nodding. "They are clearly Military or ex-Military."

"Did you manage to trace the vans?" Callen wondered, still staring at the screen, as he wanted to study every detail of the video.

"Sadly no, it looks like some of the cameras around the facility were not working or mostly, they had been disabled. I will look into them if I can find a way to track who did it. If it had been done by remote, I'd probably be able to find them," the tech explained, turning to face the agents.

"They went inside prepared, like they knew exactly what to expect," the team leader was simply reflecting out loud, trying to put his thoughts in order.

"Exactly what I was thinking, Mr. Callen. They probably have someone who worked inside. Someone who knew exactly what was inside, where it was, how many guards there were and where the cameras were positioned." Hetty nodded as she started pacing up and down with her hands behind her back. "I think I need to call the Chief of Police and see what he has to say about it."

"Do you think it's related to our case, Hetty?" It was Sam who broke the awkward silence that had fallen in Ops.

"Of course it is, Mr. Hanna. It would be too much of a coincidence if it wasn't," the Operations Manager simply replied.

"Who is the officer in charge of the warehouse?" Callen asked curiously.

Without even answering Nell worked on her computer and after a few minutes of oppressive silence, she stared at the computer, frowning.

"Miss Jones? Do you mind answering Mr. Callen's question?" Hetty pressed to get an answer from her analyst.

"It's Lieutenant Bates…"

"Bates?" Sam furrowed his brows, not understanding how things truly worked at LAPD. Bates was responsible for the investigative section. A storage facility for evidence sounded a bit out of his field of expertise. "What the hell has Bates got to do with evidence?"

"Maybe the fact that one of his men was the lead detective in the operation against Weigman has something to do with it." The team leader muttered, not very convinced, himself, of his explanation. "Deeks was under his command while he was doing that op."

"Actually, Bates was assigned as the officer in charge of the storage facilities only a month ago," Eric told the others, reading a file on his tablet.

"Mr. Callen, Mr. Hanna, I think you need to pay a visit to Lieutenant Bates and see what he has to say about this whole story." The Operations Manager suggested receiving a nod from both of her men. "Miss Blye, you can go to the hospital and talk to the guards, maybe they saw or heard something useful."

Everyone noted in that moment that Kensi had been silent during the entire briefing. Her eyes were locked on the screen, narrowed. Her whole body was tense. Her attention had been caught by a blurred detail, something that no one else had pointed out. On the farthest corner of the paused image, there was a car, an anonymous blue sedan to be more precise. A woman with black hair was sitting in the passenger seat, her face hidden by the lowered sunshade. The driver was almost impossible to recognize as well. Almost, because some details gave the man away. Some unmistakable details like the blond shaggy hair and the grey hoodie he was wearing.

Kensi felt her heart skip a beat. It couldn't be, that was not only impossible, it was unbelievable… no, there must be a mistake. It couldn't be. It couldn't be him. She needed air. Her chest was constricted into a tight vice so much that she was unaware of everything happening around her, of the people talking to her and calling her. She walked backwards and rushed out of the room, hoping that this was just a bad dream.


	11. Chapter 11

Hello there! It's time for a new chapter and once again I have to warn you that the content of this chapter might be **M** rated (just to be sure) and a little 'heavy', but bear with me if you can.

As always, thanks to everyone is supporting this story with reviews, follows and favorites. It truly means a lot to me.

And obviously I can't stop thanking Xwing12 for her precious help. You know I owe you ;)

Time to shut up and let you read this.

* * *

Going Under - Chapter 11

The vicious liquid pumped once again through his veins, taking him to a distant place, away from here, away from everyone as a warm feeling engulfed him. Deeks hated that already familiar sensation, but at the same time he couldn't deny the fact that he enjoyed it. His mind hated it, because it reminded him of what he was now, what he had become, but his body loved feeling so light, feeling like he was surrounded by cotton, feeling protected from the rest of the world. But his body also liked that sensation because it gave him a rush of adrenaline that allowed him to satisfy Lara's sexual needs. The more heroin he got, the rougher he was becoming, the harder he released his frustration. And she loved it. She loved him being almost violent because he simply sent her to a pleasuring heaven. Her whole body, every muscle, every nerve craved for more. She only wanted him to take her in every way possible.

Three days ago they had burst into the LAPD depot and stole the heroin and after she made some more business arrangements, Lara and Deeks had disappeared into her apartment. Three days in which she had almost driven him mad with all of her tricks. Three days in which she had played with his need for a fix, giving him the shots herself, before and after they had sex. And right now it was no different. She removed the syringe from his arm, throwing it into the trash bin amongst the others as she started kissing him avidly and voraciously, sitting on top of him.

"I know you love this Marty, come on, show me how much you love it." She grabbed his hair roughly, brushing her breast on his chest while her mouth continued her exploration, as her tongue licked every inch of his naked body. "Show me!" she almost yelled, aroused, and almost in a trance, as her desire burned like a candle. She wanted him and she wanted him now.

No matter how he fought it, no matter how hard he tried to resist her, Deeks felt his own desire explode inside of him as his entire self reacted to her touches and to her kisses. The drug did its trick, removing any kind of inhibition.

"You're a devil…" he slurred, moaning when Lara's mouth moved to the lower part of his body. An incontrollable rush of pure physical desire coursed through his veins as the heroin filled his blood and with a sudden move, he yanked her long dark hair, tilting her head backwards and before she could realize it, he flipped her body so he was on top of her.

His rough hands cupped her perfect breasts, squeezing them with increasing strength, making her purr like a cat. Lara's back arched, teasing his sensitive parts, asking for more.

Deeks' vision started to blur. He couldn't almost see anything, but his body had a life on its own and soon he was inside her, pumping, harder while his teeth bit her skin, leaving marks here and there.

Lara's nails signed the skin of his back, deeper and deeper, but none of them cared about the pain, engrossed in their sex match, moaning and screaming with increasing pleasure. They didn't know how long they were doing it when finally they reached the maximum level of pleasure at the same time, screaming loudly.

His hands moved around her neck, instinctively, and started applying an increasing pressure.

At first she thought he was simply joking, pushing her satisfaction to another level, but when he didn't stop and the air didn't get to her lungs, she started to panic. Lara tried to get rid of his tight grip, but the cop seemed unaware of what he was doing. His eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily, like he was fighting a battle with an invisible enemy.

"Ma…r…ty…" the woman attempted to call him, but her voice died in her constricted throat. "St…op…" All of her efforts were in vain. Deeks was too strong for her and was in a better position. With all the energy left in her body, she grabbed his wrists and planted her long manicured nails into his skin. At first nothing happened, but with one last drop of strength, she increased the pressure and finally he cried out, in pain.

The cop's hands released her neck and his eyes opened, horrified. He panted, absolutely out of breath like he had run a marathon.

"What… what…" he stared at his bloodied wrists, at his trembling fingers and with an even more horrified expression he looked at Lara who was coughing, finally free to breathe. "Oh my God… oh shit!" he yelled, getting up abruptly, too quickly, because everything started spinning around him and he had to steady himself against the wall not to fall to the floor.

"Marty…" Lara called him feebly, noticing his clear discomfort. Asking her body a great effort, she stood up and moved towards him. "It's… ok… I pushed you…" she murmured, caressing his hair as he slid down to the ground, bringing his legs towards his chest.

"I… I don't want to be like him," he muttered almost incomprehensibly "I am not like him…"

She frowned, not understanding what he was talking about "Marty, I don't understand… what the hell are you talking about? You're not like who?"

"Him… My fat… him…" he insisted, leaning his head on his bent knees. He was shaking so badly, clearly affected by what had just happened. Was this what happened to his father every time he drank too much? Was he becoming like him? The idea terrified him.

Lara stroked his hair, gently, massaging his neck. "Man, you're so tense, Marty. Wait, I have something for you… something that will make you relax," she attempted to get up, but Deeks grabbed her wrist, without even looking at her, without moving his head at all.

"No more of that shit… not right now…" his voice was feeble and reflected how broken he was in that moment.

The dark haired woman stared at him, furrowing her brows. "You need it now, Marty. You need to relax," she didn't give him time to reply. She simply moved few steps and started working on the drug, preparing another dose. "Here… relax, Marty. Just relax…" with dexterity, she held his arm and pumped the drug in his vein.

The familiar warm sensation engulfed his body, but there was something different this time, it was more intense, more calming.

"What… this is…"

Lara guided his head towards her chest, still gently touching his hair "Yes, this is different. This will help you to relax. Everything is ok, Marty. Just relax…"

Deeks' eyelids were getting heavier and he was finding it hard to stay awake. He fought it, wanting to be in control of his body, but in vain. In that moment, he realized how screwed he was and how Lara had the power over him. This was not good… he needed to be in control, for the op, for his job, but sadly, he reckoned that he was losing it, that he was slipping into a dangerous path. The cop opened his mouth to say something, but it felt like it was filled with cotton. Words died in his throat and slowly, darkness engulfed him. In the distance he heard Lara's voice talking to him.

"It's ok, Marty. Everything is going to be ok… I'll take care of you."

The sweet tone sent chills down his spine as Deeks felt defenseless, unable to do anything to fight her. Her tender words sounded menacing to his ears. He didn't need her to take care of him… he didn't want it. He was a cop and was supposed to do everything to send her to jail, but in this moment, he simply felt like a puppet in her hands and once again, he hated himself for his weakness. An image filled his mind, of a beautiful woman, with long wavy hair, a kind smile and gorgeous mismatched eyes.

"Forgive me…" he whispered inaudibly. "Please Kens, forgive me…" Then oblivion welcomed him and everything went black.

* * *

The evening of the fourth day after the burst, Larry DeBon decided that it was time to get his sister back on track. She had a couple of meetings with some possible buyers and with their contact on the USS Constellation. He would have gone alone, but she was the one everyone trusted and mostly feared. He needed her, even if he was not happy with how she was behaving.

His anger grew exponentially thinking about the reason for her mood change and absent behavior. Marty Deeks. Larry couldn't really stand the man. He might be a junkie, he might have been useful to them, but he was a cop and _once a cop always a cop_ - that was what his father had taught him. In addition to all of this, Larry obviously didn't trust Deeks and hated him because he had ridiculed him in front of his men, something he couldn't really overcome easily.

He knocked at the door of his sister's apartment violently, almost banging at it. "Lara, open up!" he shouted, without hiding his impatience. "Come on, sis, I know you're in there. Open this damn door!"

After several minutes and several bangs and shouts, the door opened and a very naked and very annoyed Lara appeared in front of her brother. "Larry, what the hell do you want? I told you that I would call you if I needed something…"

Larry studied his sister, spotting immediately the bruises around her neck. His fury lit up and he was not able to control his anger anymore. He pushed her aside and stepped into the luxurious apartment.

"Where is he? Where is that son of a bitch?!" His eyes scanned the room, noticing the confusion and the amount of scattered objects adorning the usually tidy place. He didn't need to search too long because he found what he was looking for. Deeks lay naked on the couch, sprawled on it. His blond hair partially covered his face, but Larry could clearly see the signs of a drug induced sleep. "That little piece of shit!" he was launching himself towards the cop, but his sister stopped him grabbing his wrist.

"Larry, stop!" she yelled, menacingly, grabbing her brother's wrist. Her voice had that cold and steady tone that she used with her enemies.

Larry turned to face her, his expression transfigured by the rage. "Stop? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror in the last few days, sis? Have you seen those bruises around your neck? That pig bastard of a cop hurt you. Hell he could have killed you!" His eyes softened as he gently caressed Lara's neck. "You're my little sister, Lara, I can't allow anyone to hurt you. I promised Dad I would take care of you."

"Larry, it's ok. It was not his fault. I pushed him…" She let go of her brother's wrist and moved towards Deeks' sleeping form. She sat on the couch beside him and gently stroked his hair. "I dosed him too much and he… reacted badly, without even realizing it. It was my fault, not his."

"Lara, damn it! This damn obsession of yours one day will really kill you! You can't fuck every man you meet, without even knowing who they are. And you don't know him… he's a cop, Lara. A bloody cop! You can't trust him," Larry's voice was rising. "And he's a junkie. You know that they are too unpredictable. You will never know how they can react to the drug."

"I can take care of myself, Larry. I don't need you to babysit me like I am 15! I'm a grown woman and I can choose the men I want to fuck without asking your damn opinion!" She got up abruptly. His expression hardened, revealing why she was the boss and why he was not. "And I am your boss, Larry, so don't you dare come to me like that again or I won't hesitate to punish you! You're my brother and I love you, but my life is mine only!"

Larry ground his teeth, obviously frustrated and highly disappointed.

"I only wanted to remind you that you have a meeting tonight. You know, with all the fun you are having, I thought you might forget about it," he paused, sending a cold stare to the sleeping form on the couch. "I hope having Sleeping Beauty between your legs didn't make you forget about our job…" A cunning smirk curved his lips, but it didn't last too long because a sound slap reached his face.

"Don't push me too hard, Larry. You're behaving like a jealous child! I won't tolerate your idiocy any longer!" Her voice was cold now, without any inflexion of affection towards her older brother. "If your life sucks because you're just stupid and without a little bit of spine, well that's your problem and yours only. You don't have any right to judge me or my choices!"

"You've lost your mind sis… that bloody cop cursed you!" Larry pointed his trembling fingers to Lara's face, clear sign that her words had touched a soft spot "You better put your mind together and start thinking with your brain and not with other parts of your body before it's too late. We still have work to do and we need to do it properly. Forget about Mr. Junkie for a while, then when we're done with our business, you can even die fucking him. I don't really care if you want to ruin your life because of that piece of shit!"

She wanted to reply, to yell at him, but deep inside she was aware that her brother was right. They had a deal to sign, drugs to sell and money to get…She needed to stay focused. Her eyes landed on Deeks' sleeping form, biting her lips resisting the urge to wake him and start another marathon with him. Maybe she was really cursed. She sighed heavily, passing a hand through her long hair.

"I need to take a shower, Larry. Get out of here and wait for me outside. I'll be ready in half an hour."

Reluctantly, Larry moved towards the door, nodding to his sister and casting an incinerating stare at the cop. "Son of a bitch…" he muttered as he walked outside. "You will pay for this!"

Lara didn't hear her brother's menace, too intent in her observation of the gorgeous man's naked body. She leaned towards the cop, kissing his forehead. After stroking his hair, she picked up a piece of paper and wrote a note…

* * *

He woke up with every muscle, every nerve, every little part of his body screaming in pain. His head pounded and his throat was as dry as the soil after one year of drought. Deeks groaned as he put himself into a sitting position, fighting the ache of his sore body. He was surprised to be alone, without Lara's sleeping form on top of him. Man, how long had it been since he took a shower? How long had it been since he ate properly?

Collecting himself he stood up slowly, giving himself enough time to allow the dizziness to go away. Even more slowly he started walking towards the fridge, searching for something to refresh his dry mouth and burning throat. He hated the side effects of the heroin, but sadly he was getting used to them, not that he liked it, but he had to accept it.

He grabbed a bottle of water and gulped it in the blink of an eye. By the time he sank back in the couch, it was already gone.

"Lara?" he called with a hoarse voice. "Lara, where are you?"

When he didn't get any answer or hear the sound of the water running in the shower, he feared that she had left, leaving him behind. His job was to be her shadow, to know everything she was doing in order to find the moles of NCIS and LAPD and, of course, to arrest her and the rest of her organization. If she was gone, he had missed an important opportunity.

The cop was getting up when a note left on the TV screen caught his attention.

_Marty,_

_I have some business to attend to. I'll be back as soon as I can. You are free to do whatever you want… but get ready for when I'll be back. I haven't finished with you._

_Lara _

Even if he knew exactly what she meant with those words, Deeks shivered, just thinking about the fact that she hadn't finished with him yet. He wondered what she would do if she found out that he was playing with her, that he was not here by chance but for a serious purpose. He passed a hand over his tired face, internally cursing himself because he missed her leaving.

He decided to take a shower, hoping to remove the dirtiness he felt outside and inside of himself. He indulged under the steamy water for quite some time. He then retrieved his clothes that were discarded all around the apartment.

"Gah, they stink…" he muttered, smelling his wrinkled shirt. The stench of sweat, of Lara's perfume, of drug, of alcohol, all mixed together pervaded his nostrils and for a moment, his stomach turned upside down.

"You better get yourself together, go home and find some clean clothes, you idiot!"

Without thinking too much, he dressed and stormed out of the apartment, but he didn't go very far because as soon as he turned the corner that headed to the elevator, a strong hand grabbed him and pushed him against the wall. The barrel of a gun was pointed at his face and was pressed against his cheek.

"About time you decided to wake up, you little piece of junk!" Larry DeBon told him viciously, pressing one of his forearm against Deeks' throat.

"I was… waiting for… the kiss of a Princess… or a Prince…" the cop struggled to put his words together, as the other man increased the pressure.

"How does it feel when you're suffocating? When the air doesn't get to your lungs? Is it a nice sensation?"

Deeks saw stars dancing in front of his eyes. His already pounding head seemed ready to explode now.

"Don't you dare touch my sister again, you filthy bastard! Just lay a finger on her and you're dead. Do you understand?" Larry pushed his forearm a little further and saw the cop fighting for every breath, feeling his body slowly go limp in front of him.

The blond detective was trying to stay conscious, to keep his eyes open, but it was getting harder. When he was sure that he was about to pass out, DeBon released his grip on him and let him go.

Deeks fell on his knees coughing and panting, looking for the precious oxygen to fill his needy lungs, completely unaware of the other man leaning towards him, yanking his hair.

"Did I make myself clear, son of a bitch?" Larry asked, grinding his teeth in anger. He was so sure of himself that he didn't expect the cop's reaction at all. His wrist was grabbed firmly and his arm twisted behind his back. The gun he was holding fell to the floor and disappeared from his sight.

The detective got up and pushed him against the same wall he was leaning against just few minutes ago.

"I have already warned you. Don't touch me. I'm losing my patience with you!"

"I'm not scared of your threat, junkie! I know your weakness and I will use it against you!" DeBon tried to wriggle from the tight grip, hoping to show the other man he was still the stronger one, that he had still the power, failing miserably because Deeks didn't fall for that.

The cop twisted the man's arm even more, making him cry in pain and moved his lips close to Larry's ear, whispering menacingly, "You haven't realized it yet, have you? You don't have any power over me. You should start being scared of me, instead, because you know how we junkies are… we're unpredictable and crazy sometimes. We really don't know what we're doing…" He added a venomous laugh at the end of his words that literally chilled DeBon's bones.

Once again, Larry tried to free himself from the cop's tight grip, but it was in vain.

"What am I going to say to your sister? That you've been beaten by a poor, sick and crazy junkie? I think the little bit of consideration she has for you will disappear completely after this pathetic attempt against me!" Deeks gave the other man's arm another twist, enjoying it. He couldn't stand Larry and his attitude. And mostly, he needed to put DeBon in his place, before he could compromise his operation. The man didn't trust him and he was trying to do everything to convince his sister not to trust him as well. At this point, Deeks couldn't allow this to happen.

Larry screamed in pain as he felt his shoulder make unhealthy noises, like it was ready to pop out. His shouts put his men, who were not very far, on alert. Two of them came to his rescue. One punched the cop in his lower back and the other pulled him away from his boss.

Caught by surprise, Deeks didn't have time to react and couldn't stop the kick that reached his stomach and the one that hit his ribs. Pain exploded in his whole body and he curled to protect himself from more blows.

"Put him on his feet!" DeBon ordered. His thugs immediately did what they had been asked to do. They took the cop by his shoulders and blocking him by his arms, they straightened him up so he could face Larry who approached him, blinded by the fury. "You little piece of shit!" he yelled angrily as he delivered a heavy blow to the detective's face, splitting his lip.

Blood poured down Deeks' chin but as he watched Larry come closer, he spat on his expensive shoes.

"You're such a coward…" he panted heavily, feeling his legs fail him. "You can't even do your dirty work all alone!"

As an answer, DeBon punched the cop's face again, opening a cut on his cheek.

"Let me show you who is the coward." He took out a pocketknife and without giving the other man time to realize what was going to happen, he stabbed him on his side.

Deeks cried out in pain and felt himself fall to the ground as the two thugs let him go. He turned on his back and saw, once again, Larry lean towards him.

"Who's the idiot now?" It was DeBon's turn to spit on the other man, reaching him on his face, before a loud laugh resounded in the corridor of Lara's building. "Have a good day, bastard." Mercilessly, he kicked the cop's stomach and walked away.

Deeks curled into a fetal position, feeling the blood seeping through his shirt and wetting the hand holding the wound. He was almost sure that the little bastard didn't give him a fatal one, but damn it, it hurt like hell.

Collecting all of his energy, he stood up, leaning against the wall for support. He looked at the bloodied shirt and cursed himself for being so stupid to allow Larry to get him so easily.

His mind tried to think about his next move. He needed medical attention, but he couldn't go to the hospital. It would mean the end of his operation and he couldn't let his stupidity prevent him from finishing his job. Laboriously, he bent over to pick up his discarded jacket and an idea popped into his head. He didn't like it, but maybe it was his only chance. It was risky, but at this point, he didn't have much more to lose.

Unsteadily on his feet, he walked towards the elevator and towards his final destination.


	12. Chapter 12

It's time to find out where Deeks was going, but not before I have thanked all the people who are still with me, reading this story, leaving a review, following it or putting it in the favourite list. It really means a lot to me.

And as always I need to thank Xwing12, because without her, you'd have to bear my bad English :)

Ok, it is really time to shut up now.

* * *

Going Under - Chapter 12

No matter how hard she tried not to think about it, Friday nights were not the same anymore for her. Kensi was so used to spending some quality time with her partner that not having the opportunity to do it again, made her extremely sad. She had tried to forget about Deeks, about all the nasty things he told her the last time they met each other. She had tried to ignore what he had become, the fact that he had been involved in a crime, that he was not the man she thought she knew, but in vain. Marty Deeks was not someone easy to forget, to get over. The stupid, annoying Shaggy haired detective had reached her soul in a way no one had ever done, crumbling her defensive walls day after day. But now, whatever they had together, was gone, as much as he was gone.

She had tried to offer her help, but he had refused, shutting her off completely. So why did she have to feel so miserable? Kensi was angry, mostly mad at herself. She wanted so badly to hate him, but she simply couldn't.

"Damn you, Marty Deeks!" she yelled, punching her couch in frustration.

It had been almost a week since they found out that Deeks was involved with Larry DeBon in the burst at LAPD depot, but Kensi Blye was not able to accept it. And this thing was driving her crazy. The fact that he had become a criminal should be an incentive to make her forget about him, but sadly it was working as the exact opposite. The more she thought about the images she saw on the big screen of Ops, the more her desire to see her partner and to help him grew bigger.

In a certain way, she felt like she had abandoned him to his fate. Ok, a fate he had chosen, but knowing Deeks, something very bad had caused this change in his behavior. Something very bad must have affected him to change him so radically. And once again, she cursed herself because she didn't pick the signs of this change, because she hadn't seen them. She was his partner, his friend, the person who knew him better than anyone, except maybe for Hetty, so why couldn't she have prevented this?

Her eyes moved to the TV in front of her, but she couldn't focus on it. Her mind was wandering through dangerous territory and she didn't really like it.

"Oh come on, pull yourself together! He is gone! He treated you like shit and you still think about him. Forget about him, that's what you have to do!" she told herself, chuckling, thinking that maybe she was going crazy.

For a moment, she pondered on the idea of calling Nell and asking her for a girl's night, but she dismissed the idea immediately. She knew that the petite analyst would read her like an open book; when it came to Deeks, she was very transparent, more than she wanted to be.

Kensi threw the remote controller away, frustrated, leaning against the couch and staring at the ceiling. And as much as she didn't like it, images and memories came to her mind; of all the Friday nights Deeks and she had spent on this same couch, watching her favorite shows, drinking beer and eating her favorite food. Her partner never minded doing that for her, her sweet, loyal, present and caring partner would always do everything for her.

"Aaaarrrggghh!" she yelled, venting her growing frustration and uneasiness. That man didn't exist anymore. That man was gone just to turn into an addict, a thief. Why did it sound so weird saying those words to refer to Deeks?

She grabbed a pillow from her couch and put it on her face, to isolate herself from the world, hoping to forget about everything and everyone. It was in that moment that a knock at her door brought her back to reality.

Instinctively, she grabbed her gun and walked to see who was at the door. It was almost midnight and she was not expecting anyone, so she couldn't help being a bit suspicious. When she put aside the curtain and saw the figure standing in front of her, her heart skipped a beat. She couldn't believe it.

Closing her eyes and sighing heavily, she opened the door but just enough to put her face out.

"What do you want?"

The man outside flashed a smile that didn't reach his blue eyes. "Yeah, you're mad at me. Fair enough… you have all the right to be."

"Deeks, you made yourself very clear that you didn't want anything to do with me anymore. So, if it's not something very important, you can go away and never come back!" she said coldly, even if there was a voice inside of her that was screaming to let him come in.

"Kensi, I…" Deeks tried to talk, but a wave of dizziness caught him and he had to lean against the doorstep for support.

"Hell Deeks, look at you! Do you need a dose? Well, this is the wrong place to come. Why don't you ask to your new buddy, Larry DeBon?" She stared at him, noticing how pale and sweaty he was. His whole body was shaking and trembling and she assumed he was probably in withdrawal and in need of a fix. His lip was split and a cut adorned his cheek.

The cop chuckled, closing his eyes, as he fought a flash of pain. "That's my girl…" he murmured.

Kensi bit her lip nervously. A part of her really wanted to close the door on his face and finally forget about him and about all of this story, but another part, wanted to open it and allow him back into her life. She was struggling, fighting the inner battle when she saw him step a little closer. His eyes stared directly at her, locking with her mismatched orbs and she felt a pang at her stomach.

"Deeks… I… I think it's better if you go…" she muttered, not very convinced or convincing. She could see the sadness filling his expression that he masked with another grin.

Deeks didn't break eye contact, nodding. "Yeah, I… you're right, I shouldn't have come…" His voice became almost inaudible as his face lost the little bit color it had left.

Kensi had just one second to realize what was happening. She opened the door fully, just in time before he collapsed in her arms.

"Deeks!" she cried out. Her words filled with concern. She laid him on the ground and whilst doing so, she saw it. "Oh my God! You're bleeding!" His shirt was soaked with blood from what appeared to be a wound on his side. "You need to go to the hospital!"

"No!" a weak voice answered her. "Please no… I… I can't…" His eyes were closed and talking was taking away all of his energy.

"Of course you can't go to the hospital! LAPD will arrest you for what you did!" Kensi told him, using a judgmental tone, harsher than she intended to use. "I wonder if I have to help you then."

The cop hearing those words, tried to get up. "You're… right… help me on my feet and I…" A cry of agony escaped his lips and his vision clouded.

Kensi couldn't stand seeing him in pain, even if she was still very angry. "Shut up, you idiot! I'll put you on your feet, but only to get you inside!"

There was a moment of silence until Deeks, whispered, "Thank you…" It was a feeble sound, but full of meaning.

The NCIS agent was startled by his tone. He looked relieved and so grateful, as much as he had sounded desperate just a few minutes ago.

Laboriously, Kensi managed to guide him inside and towards her bedroom. She could feel the heat emanating from his body even if he was shaking badly. When she managed to lie him down on her bed, the cop was almost unconscious and he was mumbling almost incomprehensibly, but she understood just few words.

"I'm sorry, Kens… I'm sorry. Please forgive me…. Please… not bad, not bad guy… sorry… not what you think… forgive me, Kensi, please…"

"Deeks? Deeks?" she called him, but he was already out. She couldn't deny that she had been affected but his unconscious and delirious rambling. What did he mean? "Ah hell, what a mess!" She passed a hand through her long hair and sighed, before moving to the bathroom to retrieve a first aid kit.

Once she was back with what she needed to patch him up, she sat on the bed, first observing him intently. Deeks had lost more weight from the last time she had seen him. His hair was longer, even more shaggier and ruffled than usual. He was so pale, but she didn't know if it was because of the wound or because of his addiction. Taking a deep breath, she removed his jacket and the first things she looked at were his arms. She felt sick noticing the needle marks, some of them were clearly recent. She had to swallow hard before going on, needing a moment to process what this obviously meant.

Kensi opened his shirt and gasped when she saw the fresh bruises adorning his chest and abdomen, a clear sign that he had been beaten up, very roughly. Her attention moved to the bleeding wound. She poured some disinfectant on it, to clear her view from the blood. Deeks' body reacted instinctively. His back arched and he moaned in pain, even if he didn't wake up. "It's ok, it's ok," she reassured, mostly out of habit.

Her trained eyes immediately recognized the knife wound, but she was glad to see that it didn't seem that any organs had been touched or the bleeding would have been of a different color. She sighed in relief, realizing that it was better than she had imagined at first. Kensi debated whether to put a couple of stitches in herself, but then decided that some butterfly stitches and a tight bandage would work as well.

Half an hour later, the job was done and she was almost satisfied with herself. Deeks hadn't woken up, not even for a single second and she had been grateful. At least she didn't have to face him and to look at him. It would have been awkward. But what will happen when he wakes up? What was she going to do? Call the others? Call LAPD? Hetty?

Kensi didn't like any of those options, so she decided to wait until he woke up and maybe see if he had something to say, to tell her, if he had some explanation about what had happened. His words, his plea for forgiveness had touched her, deeper than she imagined at first. There was something in his voice that had melted her heart. Sorrow, sadness, guilt…

Her eyes took the chance to study him once again. Deeks looked exhausted. There were dark circles under his eyes, like someone who hadn't slept in a long time. Kensi wondered what kind of life he was living and selfishly, she hoped that he missed her.

Hetty's words resounded in her ears. _Sooner or later he will come to you, because Mr. Deeks cares much more about you than he cares for himself. _Was it really true? Did he really care for her? So why? Why didn't he ask for her help earlier? Why didn't he say anything while he was falling so far down? Without realizing it, she passed a hand over his face, caressed his check, sensing the thick stubble under her fingers. She had never seen him with such a thick beard and it looked so strange. Her hand then moved to his hair. At first, she was afraid of her own gesture, not sure if it was right to do it, but when she noticed that his body slowly relaxed at her touch, she continued brushing his golden locks.

He fell into a more peaceful slumber. So, satisfied, Kensi took a chair and positioned it beside the bed. She sank into it and waited.

* * *

When he opened his eyes, the room was completely in darkness, but Deeks sensed a presence beside him. "Lara?" he murmured, but words died in his dry throat. Once his eyes got accustomed with the dark, the place looked at the same time unfamiliar and domestic, until a scent he thought he had forgotten filled his nostrils and memories flashed in his mind. He remembered what had happened. He remembered where he was.

Scanning the room, his lips curled into a sweet smile when his tired eyes landed on Kensi's figure slumped in the chair next to the bed. His heart melted, looking at her and for a moment, he had to hold the tears that were forming in his eyes. She was so beautiful… Kensi was the most important person in his whole life and he had betrayed her and lied to her. How could she ever forgive him after this? How could he ever forgive himself because of this whole mess?

A wave of pain coursed through his whole body as he tried to get up, and even if he didn't want to, a cry escaped from his lips, waking her up.

Kensi almost jumped out of her chair when she heard the sound of Deeks' voice.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" she asked, rubbing her sleepy eyes.

"Bathroom?" he told her, smiling. But his expression was very serious. Too serious, probably. He knew she was studying him, trying to understand what was going on through his mind. "I didn't want to wake you up."

"Oh yes, you simply wanted to sneak out of my bedroom, of my house… hell, of my life, like nothing happened! Smart move, Deeks… absolutely great!" She got up abruptly, suddenly very angry and disappointed. She cursed herself because she had fallen, once again, for him and his lies.

"Kens, wait… please…" he called her, his voice nothing more than a whisper. "I was not sneaking out of your life," he reflected on the importance of these few words. She thought that he was still part of her life. She hadn't cut him off definitely, even if he probably deserved it. "I… I don't want you to get in trouble because of me. If someone was to find me here, you would have some issues."

Kensi turned to face him, reading the pain, the weariness and, mostly, the honesty in his words. There was no trace of any lies. "Getting in trouble because of someone like you? Never!"

The cop closed his eyes, defeated and tired. He didn't realize how tired he was until that moment. His whole body ached and was still shaking. His head sank back into the pillow, sighing.

"Yeah, I'm not that worth it…"

The sadness that came out of his words unsettled her and her first instinct was to rush towards him and comfort him, but then she remembered his hard and cold eyes as he was telling her to go away, to leave him alone. She remembered the emptiness she saw in his expression when she had watched the images of the burst in the LAPD depot.

"Maybe… maybe it's time for you to leave then. If you feel like that, well, maybe no one will be ever able to save you." She stared at him, knowing that she was hurting him, deeply. "Go, get out of here. Go look for another dose of that bloody shit and kill yourself. Isn't that what you want? Isn't that what you need?" She didn't realize that she was yelling.

"Kens, I… I'm sorry…" Deeks muttered, biting his lip nervously.

"You know what you can do with your sorry excuses? Man, you think that you could come here, hurt, in need of help, and come back into my life, and mess me around? No, you're so wrong Deeks. I don't care if you tell me you're sorry. I don't care anymore. Do you have an idea of how deeply you hurt me? I thought we were friends, that we trusted each other, but you… you…" Kensi's voice cracked and her eyes were filled with tears. "You betrayed that trust, Deeks. Damn it! Idiot, I'm such an idiot! I thought you were different, I thought you were better…"

"Kensi, I… I hope you will be able to forgive me…"

"Shut up!" she yelled desperately, "I don't want to hear any of your excuses! Shut up!"

"But, I… you have to listen to me…" he tried again, but once again, she stopped him, even more vehemently.

"I said shut up! I don't want to listen to you! You…" Her expression was colder than it had never been. She was determined to end this story. For real, this time. "You… you…" She was out of words and insults to tell him. She moved towards the sitting figure in bed and tried to punch him, to release all of her frustration, her anger, the sense of betrayal towards him.

In spite of his weakness, Deeks manage to grab her wrists and force her to look straight at him. Her mismatched eyes were locked on his blue ones.

"Let me go!" she screamed, wriggling to get away from his grip. "I said let me go!"

"Stop Kensi, please…" the cop begged her, hoping that she could calm down, but this enraged her even more. "Kensi, enough."

"Shut up! I don't want to have anything to do with you, You hurt me, you little son of a bitch… you…"

"Kensi, stop!" he insisted, but she didn't seem to hear him.

"No, you stop it! Damn it, Deeks you…" her voice was so loud now and she didn't care if he was seeing her like this. The last few days had been a nightmare for her and she only wanted it to end. "I hate you!"

"Stop it, Kensi!" he shouted too. "It was a ruse! A trick. Hell Kensi, it's just a damn undercover operation!" He released her wrists, sinking back into the pillow, covering his face with one arm, ignoring the pain that was radiating from his wounded side.

"What?" she panted incredulously "What… what the hell are you talking about?"

"This whole damn thing, it's just a fuckin' undercover operation!" Deeks muttered, his voice full of sorrow and regret.

"An op? So Hetty knew everything and…"

He interrupted her immediately. "Hetty doesn't know anything about this and neither does anyone on the team."

Kensi silently admitted that she was a bit relieved to hear that this time she was not the only one who had been played, who had been left in the dark. "So, who's behind it?" she sat heavily in the chair, feeling suddenly exhausted, drained of all her energy.

"Bates… and Granger…"

"But, why? Why didn't you tell us? Why…" Her eyes were caught by the marks on his arms, so she grabbed one of his wrists and asked, "And these? What about these?"

Deeks shivered as he retreated his arm away. "There's drug trafficking happening on the Constellation. Granger found out that probably someone at NCIS is covering it up. Randall was just the tip of the iceberg. And when there was a suspect that there was a mole at LAPD too, the operation received a go."

"You haven't answered my question yet…" she told him, skeptically.

"Don't you have anything to drink?" he licked his lips as he braced himself to fight a shiver that ran down his spine.

Kensi closed her eyes. The fact that Deeks changed the subject every time she asked the same question, was more than an answer for her. "I have some tea. Let me get a couple of mugs."

"Yeah, perfect…" the cop watched her leave and felt awfully bad. He knew that nothing good was going to come out of this conversation, but he was not able to lie to her, not anymore.

A minute later, Kensi was back with two steamy cups of tea. "Hetty gave this to me. She said it helps to relax…"

"Is she mad at me?" he wondered, out of nowhere.

The NCIS agent stared at his blue eyes, glad to see a glimpse of the Deeks she remembered and not of the one she had started to hate. "Yes, she is, but she was not eager to give up on you. She even sent me to talk to you. I came to your apartment, that day when you went away with that woman, in Larry DeBon's car. Who is she Deeks?"

The cop's heart skipped a beat. Lara. How could he tell Kensi about her without hurting her partner more than he already had? "Lara DeBon, she's Larry's sister, but she goes with the name of Lara Mosley, her deceased husband's name, so no one can connect her to her brother's trafficking. Too bad she's the one in charge. Their organization was in league with Randall."

"We know." She simply said and Deeks arched his brow pleased that the team made the connection.

"Randall was supposed to give them information about a way to get Weigman's heroin, thanks to a connection he had with someone at LAPD. Bates and Granger wanted me to infiltrate the DeBon's organization, to find out about the moles, but the normal channels were almost impossible to go through, so we came up with this idea. We needed to give them someone who was desperate enough to do anything they needed. Someone who had good connections…"

"You…" again, Kensi spoke in monosyllables.

"Yeah, exactly," Deeks winced in pain as he tried to move and shift his position in bed. He laid down the mug of tea because his hands were shaking too much and he didn't want to spill the hot liquid all over himself. "A doctor started giving me vitamin shots, mixed with a very little amount of drug, and I started hanging out at bars and at the seediest parts of the city, looking for drug dealers and all… to make myself a name and a reputation."

"And this is why you hang out with Ramirez… smart move. It worked perfectly." Her words were knives in Deeks' heart, so cold and distant. But Kensi needed time to process what she was hearing. He still couldn't believe that he didn't tell her anything. "Go on, please…"

"After my little outburst at the boatshed and after Hetty obviously fired me, someone must have tipped Lara and Larry, because she showed up at a bar I was spending a quiet night at and offered me a job. I would have given them information and she would have given me money and daily fixes for my little addiction."

"Did you find out who the mole is?"

"Not yet, I… I think Lara had a meeting today with someone, but I… I lost her…" the last words he said were almost inaudible, like he didn't like saying them at all.

Kensi tilted her head, studying Deeks' elusive eyes "What exactly is your relationship with her?"

He bowed his head and his trembling increased. He was clearly embarrassed and not eager to share these details. "Kensi…"

"Deeks, I'm not an idiot. You had sex with her, didn't you? Is this your master-plan to gain her trust? Ending up in her bed?" she snapped, hoping he could only see her anger and not the wave of jealousy that had caught her. Just the idea of Deeks sleeping with another woman made her sick.

"It's not how it looks like… It's different…"

"No? Please explain it to me. In what way is having sex different? And different from what?" Her voice lost its firmness, denoting her growing uneasiness. The subject was clearly upsetting her.

"Don't make things harder than they already are! Please…" he tried to justify himself, in vain though. She simply lifted her eyebrow, silently scolding him. "Lara is a nympho, she doesn't accept a 'no' as an answer and I had to gain her trust."

"Gain her trust or a place between her legs?" she regretted saying it the very second after the words left her lips.

"Oh hell, if you don't want to behave like an adult, I better get out of here!" Deeks attempted to stand up, but as he put his feet on the floor, the room started spinning and dizziness caught him.

"Hey, easy there… you're in no shape to go anywhere." She helped him back on the bed, trying to hide her worry for his condition. She realized that it was not simply because of his wound, that he was so weak and sick-like.

"Damn it!" the cop punched the mattress, frustrated "I hoped you would understand, but I was wrong. I hate every single bit of this operation. I hate that I had to lie to you, to the rest of the team, to Hetty. I know that even after everything is over, I'll be done with you all, but it was worth it, Kens. Stopping this trafficking means saving a lot of people, a lot of boys and girls and their families. I had to do it."

There was so much pain and sorrow in his voice that it almost broke her heart. She knew how much Deeks took his job seriously. If he accepted to risk everything he laboriously obtained to do this operation, it must have been really important. "You still haven't answered my question."

Deeks lifted his head and looked straight into her eyes. His blue orbs were filled with tears. "I hate what I'm becoming Kens, but I can't do otherwise to keep my cover intact. If I had to change and be different, Lara would realize I played her and…" he paused, taking a deep breath, "She's very dangerous. She is as gorgeous as lethal. She reminds me of someone I know," he smirked, hoping to lighten the mood. "But this other girl is mean only to me. Lara is a devil, for real. And she doesn't stop in front of anyone or anything to get what she wants. Just look at Randall and how he ended up."

A little smile curved Kensi's lips as she witnessed that her partner was still there somewhere, behind the mask of the rogue cop, of the junkie, but the sadness of the whole situation made her become serious immediately. "Let me help you. Let me tell the others. We can back you up. You won't have to go through this all alone."

Deeks took her hand and guided it towards his lips. "Thank you, Kens, but it's too risky. I… I am alone in this."

She felt a shiver run down her spine when his lips touched her skin. "But it's not fair…" her mouth twitched in a pained wince. "Promise me, you will be careful, though."

"And when am I not careful?" he joked. A new intense shiver engulfed him. He was starting to feel the need for a fix. He passed his shaking hand through his hair, hoping that Kensi hadn't realized it. He didn't like her to know how screwed up he really was.

But she noticed it, even if she didn't say anything, not wanting to aggravate things for him. Kensi could only imagine what he was going through to keep his cover safe and to stay alive. This kind of undercover operation was something she had never been forced to do and in a certain way, she was grateful for that. Deeks was extremely good at his job. He proved it when he fooled the most successful team of NCIS with his performance, but this didn't mean that he could not make mistakes. And when he was under the influence of the drug, he might slip and compromise himself.

"I know you are, but it feels good to remind you…"

The cop felt a warm feeling engulfing him for the first time in many weeks. Just being here, in front of Kensi, holding her hand and not being judged by her was amazing.

"Kensi, I…" He was interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing.

Kensi gave it to him and he picked up the call, knowing exactly who was calling him. "Yes… ok… yes… One hour. I'll be there…"

"I know, you have to go," the NCIS agent said, defeated. "Just tell me one thing. Is there something between you and her?

Deeks got up from the bed and started dressing. He couldn't look at her, because, in that case, he would never leave. "It's just sex… and I… half of the times I'm too fucked up to remember." He didn't like to admit this as well, but he had to do it, to reassure Kensi and her female ego. "And you know that my heart is already taken." He walked towards the door, collecting his jacket "Thank you, Kensi."

He was already at the doorstep of her bedroom, when she called him back. "Was it Larry?"

"What?" he wondered, puzzled.

"Was it Larry who beat you up like that?" she asked, seriously.

Deeks chuckled. He didn't want to be in Larry DeBon's shoes when Kensi finds him, knowing her ire. "Yeah." His bitter smile grew wider looking at her with his deep blue eyes, then he walked out of the door and left.


	13. Chapter 13

A big thanks to everyone who is still with me, reading and supporting this story. I appreciate every review, every follow and favorite.

And of course I have to thank Xwing12 for her precious work.

New chapter now. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

Going Under - Chapter 13

Owen Granger hated being left in the dark. He simply needed to be in control, to be the puppet-master, the one who held the reins of the game. But sadly for him, in this operation, he was just another player and not the director.

Deep inside, he cursed himself because he chose Deeks for this undercover assignment. He never fully trusted the cop, nor his ability, even if the cop had been recruited directly by Hetty. He really didn't know what that crazy woman had seen in the shaggy haired detective. Granger had tried to use his personal resources, but in the end, he had to capitulate and admit that Deeks was the only operative who could bring this operation to an end and who could do it successfully. The cop was the only one who could pass for a real junkie, who could play the part so well that even infamous drug lords could fall for it.

The Assistant Director was still finding it hard to believe that the detective had successfully infiltrated Lara DeBon's organization and gain her trust. How did he manage to do it was a mystery to him, but at this point, he really didn't care too much. He had a goal and he wanted to achieve it. There was a mole at the NCIS office in LA and he was determined to find him or her at any cost. It was another step towards his primary objective, which was taking Director Vance's place at the head on NCIS.

He was glad that the plan was working, but he didn't like that he was not informed of what was going on. It had been more than two weeks since he had the last contact with Deeks and a week since Bates had sent him an update that consisted of two lines telling him that everything was going according to the plan. Even if he tried hard, he was not able to keep his frustration at bay and he slammed his palm on his desk, after reading one of the reports placed on the desk.

"You should know that being so angry is not helpful for your crazy heart, Owen," Hetty's voice was the last thing that Granger wanted to hear at this moment.

"And you should know that sneaking into another person's office without being announced is a violation of personal privacy," he replied coldly, but with a dose of irony not new to his character, "And to my personal space, mostly."

The diminutive woman smiled, titling her head to one side cunningly.

"Since when being worried for an old friend is considered a violation to personal space?"

"What do you want, Henrietta?" the Assistant Director asked gruffly, as he wanted to end this conversation as soon as possible.

"You don't need to be so rude, especially since you're still a guest in my Office. You should be a little bit kinder…" her expression hardened and her eyes narrowed, studying the man's reaction to her presence.

"I am very kind, Henrietta, so what do you want?" Granger insisted, his posture tense.

Without being invited, the Operations Manger sat in front of the man, her stare locked on him.

"We are in the middle of a very complicated investigation, with grave implications, but you haven't showed up in Ops, not even once. I find this a bit strange. That's it. Usually, you want to be involved, even for the silliest things," she let her words die in the air.

"Don't worry, because I'm very up-to-date on the case and mostly, I'm aware of the little incident, if we want to call it that way, with your dear Liaison Officer." Granger's voice was now deep and cold as ice. "Call yourself lucky I haven't showed up and that I haven't called Director Vance to keep him in the loop about this whole 'situation'. This was a bad case of bad judgment, my dear, Henrietta. Are you losing your magical touch? I thought you could detect a lie or a broken soul, even being miles away."

Hetty fought to maintain her composure, but deep inside she was fuming. Owen was using his usual mean attitude, hitting her below the belt. He knew that what happened with Detective Deeks had been a hard blow for everyone and he was using it to move the conversation to his advantage.

"What happened with _MY_ Liaison Officer has nothing to do with this case, so it would be very nice of you if you stopped bringing the subject up!"

"I see I hit a soft spot." The Assistant Director grinned satisfied, pleased to score a point. "I always knew that Deeks was a liability instead of an asset to this team and I'm glad I was right. Too bad you had to find out the hard way, but what did you expect from someone like him? It was expected that sooner or later his true nature would surface. It was in his genes."

"Owen!" the diminutive woman stood up abruptly, an incinerating glance was painted on her furious face. "You don't have any right to talk about Mr. Deeks that way!"

Granger smirked, pleased. He made it in his intent to force Hetty to lose her patience, something that didn't happen very often. "You shouldn't be so attached to him. He betrayed you, your trust, your team…" he paused letting his words sink into her brain. "Now if you excuse me, I have a lot of work to do and I think you and your team have something to do as well." He bowed his head to read through the folder on his desk. "And Henrietta, I need results and I need them as soon as possible."

The Operations Manager looked at him with a scolding gaze, reflecting deeply before speaking. "Grin as much as you can, Owen, but remember, revenge is better served cold." And with that, she turned on her heels and trotted away.

When he was sure that the diminutive, but dangerous woman was at a safe distance, Granger called for his assistant. "Carroll!"

Fred Carroll was a short man, in his fifties, bald, with piercing green eyes hidden behind a pair of thick glasses. He had been working for the Assistant Director since the day he put foot in the LA Office and was always ready to please his direct superior, without questioning his methods or his behavior.

"Sir…"

"I need all the reports that Agent Callen's team filled about the Randall case, all the conversations they had in Ops, all the phone calls Henrietta made, everything about Detective Deeks' position. I mean everything! And I want all of it on my desk by tomorrow morning!"

The little man frowned seeing the distress in his boss' face. "Is there anything wrong, sir?"

"I don't pay you to ask questions, but to get the job done. So stop asking questions and bring me what I need."

Carroll was used to Granger's manners, so he could see when the other man was more nervous or frustrated than usual, and no matter how much he tried to hide it, the Assistant Director was royally pissed right at this moment.

"Do you need even the box of Detective Deeks' belongings that Miss Lange _forgot_ to send to LAPD?" the bald-headed man said teasingly, smiling cunningly.

Owen Granger nodded satisfied. This was one of the reasons why he had hired Carroll. The man knew everything happening in the office. He didn't know how, but the little man was a great source of information.

"I think I've been clear enough when I said that I want everything…"

Fred grinned. He had never been as happy to work at this office like he was right now. The Assistant Director had a subtle mind and even subtler ways that made the job much more interesting and slightly entertaining. Exactly what he liked and was looking for.

Carroll's thin lips curved into a smirk as he answered, "Tomorrow morning, the moment you'll step into this office, you will find everything on your desk."

Granger nodded clearly satisfied. "I have always known that I can count on you, Carroll." He moved his attention back to his job while the other man left. "So Hetty, you are not convinced that you've seen the last of Deeks…" he murmured, passing a hand over his tired face. This might be a problem. He didn't need Henrietta Lange to interfere in his plan. Leaning against the back of his chair, he sighed worried. Deeks better find a way to wrap up the case soon or things could get complicated and out of control. The Assistant Director had known since the beginning that keeping Hetty in the dark was risky, but the price was absolutely worth it. "Come on Deeks, do your damn job!" he muttered before moving his attention back to his work.

* * *

During the ride from her apartment to the Mission, Kensi tried to think of a way not to let the rest of the team know about what she recently found out.

It was Monday and just three days ago, Deeks had showed up at her door, wounded, tired… almost desperate and had told her everything about what really happened, about the secret undercover operation he was involved in and about his growing issues. She couldn't say that she was completely relieved, but at least she knew that her partner, one of the few people in the whole world that she truly trusted and respected, was still there. He hadn't disappeared completely, finding comfort in the heroin. Sadly, she knew that the thin line between faking addiction and being a real addict was almost blurred and Deeks was walking into dangerous territory.

Kensi wanted to do something to help him, even though he had begged her not to do it. She couldn't allow this op to continue any longer or it would be too late to save her friend. The longer it took them to solve this investigation, the deeper Deeks would fall for the drug.

The NCIS agent was aware that it wasn't his fault because if he wanted to keep his cover safe and to get out of this mess alive, he couldn't allow Lara DeBon to have any suspicion about him. To do it, he had to play along and continue to play the part of the junkie. She understood this, but this didn't mean that she liked it.

"How can I help you, Deeks? How can I do it without putting your cover in danger?" she thought out loud, voicing her uncertainties. The first thing that came to mind was a name, Lara DeBon. She was the key. Deeks had told her that she was the head of the organization, even though most people were unaware of her existence. How could this be possible? How could she find a way to acknowledge Lara's existence to the rest of the world?

Her mind was still processing all of these thoughts when she stepped through the heavy wooden doors of the mission and walked into the bullpen. Both Sam and Callen greeted her, but she didn't reply, sitting silently at her desk.

The two senior agents exchanged a puzzled and concerned look before the team leader called her name again, "Kensi?" When she continued to stare into space, still lost in her own world, Callen laid a hand on her shoulder and asked gently, "Kensi, are you ok?"

Kensi jumped, almost falling off her chair, startled. "Gosh… hey… Callen… yes…" she babbled, a bit embarrassed because she had been caught off guard. "Good morning, guys."

"Good morning guys?" Sam repeated questioningly, frowning unable to hide his concern. Since the whole Deeks' affair, his younger teammate had been distant, distracted and was fighting a clear inner battle with her heart. He couldn't deny that he was concerned about her. The ex-Seal was fully aware of how important the cop was to her, but after what the blond detective did and said, he was not ready to forgive him so easily and mostly he didn't want to let Kensi be hurt by old memories.

"Kensi, we've been calling you for at least five minutes… are you sure you're ok? Don't tell me it's about Deeks again!"

A flash of anger passed through her mismatched eyes. Sam's words made her furious. If only they knew the entire story. She was an inch away to telling them everything, just for the satisfaction to see the remorse in her teammates' expression, but she had promised Deeks that she would keep his secret, to protect him and his cover.

"What about Deeks?" she replied, unable to hide her anger though.

Seeing that her uneasiness was growing quickly, Callen decided it was better to intervene and try to calm things down between them.

"Kensi, what Sam wanted to say is that we're worried about you. We know that Deeks was your friend and that you might feel very bad about this whole situation."

"Bad? Do you really think that I feel bad about it?" Her eyes moved to one of her friends to another. "How would you feel if it was Sam, Callen? What if it was Sam and you didn't notice anything?"

The blue eyed man stared at her for a long moment, reflecting on the perfect answer to give her, but he simply couldn't find one. "I'm sorry," he told her instead, with a feeble, guilty voice, understanding where she was going with her question.

"None of us saw it coming," added Sam, kindly.

"Yes, but neither of you were his partner," she was not lying. Even if she knew the truth, she still felt guilty, because she didn't notice the fact that Deeks was hiding something from her.

"Kensi, Deeks is a trained undercover operative. He can fool everyone if he needs to. You know better than us that if he didn't want to get caught in his lie, no one would be able to do it. He's good…" Callen admitted with a hint of pride in his voice.

Kensi's heart raced and she had to force herself not to chuckle. _You don't know how right you are,_ she thought, thinking about how her partner had fooled everyone, even Hetty. _He was good. Yes, he was damn good!_ She was opening her mouth to reply when Nell and Eric rushed down the stairs.

"Guys, we might have found something interesting," the tech told the others, stopping in front of the plasma screen.

"We were running a new research on Randall and something strange came up," continued Nell, sending a knowing glance at her partner in crime.

"Well, it seems that our dear Dave Randall didn't end on board of the USS Constellation by chance, but his presence was warmly sponsored by… Drum roll…" Eric joked, hoping to increase the pathos, but he simply unnerved the agents in the room. So embarrassed, he went on talking, "Admiral Johnson Mason aka Petty Officer Derek Mason's father. It seems that Derek and Randall graduated together and enrolled in the Navy together. Mason had already been on board the Constellation for at least a year when Randall joined him."

"It can't be a coincidence," Sam stated gravely, a bit angry because they hadn't found anything before. Fortunately, thanks to Hetty and the SecNav intervention, the USS Constellation's departure had been delayed until the whole case was solved.

"I think we need to pay a new visit to our old friend, Derek Mason, then," Callen added, nodding. "What about Cortez? He could be involved as well."

"Possible, but it doesn't seem the case." Nell said firmly. "He started working on the Constellation only a few months ago and he is an activist of one of the most important anti-drug organization. He spends all of his spare time when he's not away on the ship, volunteering at a rehab center for soldiers and other law reinforcement officers."

"Yes, I agree. It could even be a perfect cover, but it's hardly possible." The ex-Seal cast a worried glance at Kensi who hadn't said a single word about this matter. Her mind was not focused. It was like she was miles away. He was going to ask her something, but his partner's hand on his forearm stopped him from doing so.

Callen gave Sam a stare that simply told him, _Let me handle this_.

"Kensi, we're going to talk to Derek Mason. Would you like to join us?"

Kensi hesitated. Frankly, she didn't care that much about Randall and his buddy at the moment. She was concentrating on someone else. She was aware that it was not very professional, but she was sure Sam and Callen could handle the situation perfectly on the Constellation.

"I… I think you and Sam can be scary enough without my help," she told her team leader, smiling. "Maybe I… I can stay here with Nell and Eric, help them look for information about DeBon."

The ex-Seal sighed heavily. All of their efforts seemed in vain. It was frustrating. Their younger teammate was still stuck on Deeks. It was understandable, but it was not healthy. She was slowly consuming herself thinking about the cop. "Are you sure?" he asked defeated.

She tilted her head, masking her true emotion with a fake disappointing expression. "Sam…" her tone made her word sound like a reprimand.

Sam lifted his hands in the air. "Ok, ok. I stop."

Kensi nodded thankfully. "I have the feeling that the woman, the one I saw with Deeks outside his apartment, the one who was with him during the assault at the warehouse, is an important player in this game."

Callen studied her eyes, her posture, trying to read her mind, but he was not able to understand whether she was simply jealous or if it was something else.

"You're not speaking only because you're jealous, are you?" he used a teasing voice, flashing one of his sweet half smiles. He didn't want his friend to fend, become defensive or shut everyone out.

Once again she tilted her head, a bit annoyed. "Jealous? Really? After what he did? Come on, Callen, you should know me better than that!" She smiled inside as she silently congratulated herself. _Great performance, girl_.

"Ok, ok… I believe you," the team leader said, not exactly convinced. "Come on partner, let's do another trip to the Constellation."

"I'm starting to hate that ship! We better get some answers out of Mason this time. At least we won't be forced to go there another time," Sam protested.

"All of this complaining will kill you one day!" Callen chuckled as he dragged his partner away. "Keep us posted if you find something about that woman."

"Will do," Eric answer for everyone.

Once the two senior agents were out of sight, Nell turned to face Kensi. "Not jealous, eh?"

"Nell, you too?! I only want to know with whom we're dealing with!" the female agent snapped. "Deeks is not my partner anymore, which means he's not my problem anymore!" She walked towards her desk, sitting heavily in the chair.

The petite analyst stared silently at her for a few minutes, then she asked, "Ok, like you want. Do you have any idea of how that woman is connected with Larry DeBon and his organization?"

Kensi relaxed. Finally, the conversation had moved to a more professional level. She had never liked being teased about her relationship with Deeks, now even more so.

"Maybe she's a wife, girlfriend… a relative. To be part of the operation she must be someone DeBon trusts."

"Good point. We already ran a family background," Eric told her. "But we can give it another try. Maybe we have missed something."

_Good boy_, Kensi thought, sighing in relief. "Ok then, I'll check the facial recognition program. You two go through DeBon's life. She must be somewhere. Ghosts don't exist!"

Nell watched as her friend started working frantically. There was something different in Kensi's behavior. She was still mad, she was still a bit off, but all the anger, all the fury they had witnessed in her eyes, in her expression, seemed to have vanished. What the hell happened during the weekend to change her attitude? When the female agent lifted her head and locked her mismatched eyes on her, the analyst turned her face away immediately, missing completely the little pleased smirk that curled Kensi's lips.

* * *

"Come on, Marty, tell me who did this to you." Lara repeated for the umpteenth time as she lightly touched Deeks' bruised and naked chest while they were lying in bed after another night of sex.

Laboriously, the cop pulled himself into a sitting position, holding his healing side.

"You've been asking the same question for the past three days. I have already told you. I stumbled into a couple of guys who wanted to steal my wallet and phone the other night. We fought and one of them took out a knife. That's it. It's not a big deal so leave it... ok? Please…" He didn't need to tell her that it had been her brother who had beaten and stabbed him. Creating a big family issue right now would be counterproductive for his operation. And he wanted it to end as soon as possible. He was getting restless and tired of being a toy in this woman's hands. Deeks passed a hand through his unruly hair, sighing heavily. Who did he want to fool? This was not the only reason he wanted to wrap up this case quickly. He couldn't stand anymore the fact that he was craving for a dose so badly that his mind was sometimes not clear enough. He hated not being in control of himself, of his actions; the risk of slipping was too high and with someone like Lara DeBon, it was too dangerous.

The gorgeous woman moved closer to him, touching his shoulders with her long, manicured fingers. She was shocked by how tense his nerves and muscles were.

"God, Marty, you're so stiff, so tight… you need to relax," she started massaging him, her expert hands danced on his skin, touching and probing dexterously.

A calming wave coursed through his shoulders, through his back and soon his whole body started to feel the benefit of her job. The tension slowly dissolved.

Lara sensed the change in his posture and took advantage of it, kissing every inch of his skin, at first delicately, but then with increasing greed and lust.

Deeks' body wanted to let go all of its shields and enjoy another ride with her, but his mind stopped him, making him focus. _Don't be an idiot, you can't ruin everything. You have worked too hard on this operation to throw it away because you can't control your instincts!_ He rebuked himself, getting up abruptly and walking up and down the room. His hand found its way through his hair again.

"Lara, stop… please…" he literally begged.

The woman straightened up in bed, looking at the cop with a confused expression.

"I thought you enjoyed this, Marty," she told him with a sensual voice, trying to seduce him. "Come on, come back here with me. And I promise you that I will make you forget about all of your problems."

Licking his lips nervously, the blond Detective shook his head stubbornly. Lara DeBon was a gorgeous woman, sexy and absolutely attractive, but even if he couldn't deny the fact that she was exciting and intriguing, after his meeting with Kensi, he couldn't get his former partner out of his mind. The guilt and the shame grew exponentially inside of him, eating him, consuming him more than his craving for the heroin. He felt so dirty and his first instinct was to run away from this place, from this woman, from this damn operation, but sadly, it was impossible. He was stuck here, until the moles were found and DeBon's organization was brought to justice. Deeks buried his face in his hands, sinking in the bed. It was time to move the whole op to another level.

"Lara, I… I am a cop and as a cop I'm a man of action. I can't stay here the entire day."

"Even if it means having sex the whole day with me?" she mocked him, stroking his hair and kissing him on his neck.

The cop turned to face her, grabbing her by the shoulders.

"Stop!" he yelled, snapping angrily. He was shaking so badly that he feared that he wouldn't be able to control himself any longer. His blue eyes were raging with anger. "Enough!"

Lara was shocked by his appearance. His usually gentle features were transfigured by the fury. She caressed his cheek, tenderly.

"Marty, let me help you… I know what you need," she whispered, her lips moves closer to his.

"I need to do something, some action… I feel useless…" he closed his eyes, allowing her to get even closer, so close that he was breathing her warm breath.

The woman moaned, smiling. "You're not useless Marty… but if this makes you feel any better, you can come with me and Larry this afternoon. We have a meeting with our partners." She guided him towards her and kissed him on the lips whilst her hand ran through the waves of his blond hair. "But first let me help you relax." She pushed him towards the mattress. "Wait here, just for a moment…"

Deeks knew what was coming. And he hated it. There was no way he could convince Lara that he didn't need the heroin. Hell his own body was betraying him, craving for a shot! Angry, defeated, ashamed, he curled into a ball, fighting the gnawing feeling at the pit of his stomach.

When Lara came back, she found him like that, shaking like a leaf, sweating profusely.

"Oh Marty, my poor Marty." She knelt beside the bed, stroking his sweaty hair. "Relax, just relax… everything will be fine," she told him as she stretched out one of his arms, fixing the tourniquet around it and injecting him with the drug.

As the vicious liquid found its way through his vein, the cop felt the tears forming in his eyes and even though he tried to fight them, he couldn't hold them back anymore. He let them flow as his mind formed familiar images in front of his eyes. Kensi, her smile, her mismatches eyes.

"I'm sorry…" he murmured. "I'm so sorry…" he repeated, whimpering.

Lara moved in bed with him, embracing him to calm him not understanding his reaction. "It's ok, Marty. There's nothing to be sorry about."

Deeks continued his litany. "Please forgive me," he said, burying himself in her embrace until unconsciousness overtook him and he fell into a restless oblivion.

* * *

The poor man is so messed up...


	14. Chapter 14

I may sound like a broken record, but I can only thank everyone who left a review, followed or favorited this story. It means a lot to me.

And as always a special thanks to Xwing12, for her help and support!

New chapter now.

* * *

Going Under - Chapter 14

"We need to do something," Sam said firmly, holding the steering wheel of his Challenger.

Callen looked at him puzzled. "We need to do something about what?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Kensi," the ex-Seal simply stated like it was the most normal thing to say, like it was obvious. "We need to do something to take her mind off Deeks. She... it's not healthy, G. And it's dangerous. We do a dangerous job. Bad guys are always ready to shoot at us. She can't risk not being focused when she's out in the field!"

His partner's blue orbs studied him intently, his behavior and his posture.

"Ok, I got it, but is this all? I feel like there's more. I understand that you might be worried about Kensi, but you know her, she's the quintessential of professionalism. She won't let her emotions cloud her judgment."

"G... it's about Deeks! She... she's different when it comes to him," Sam paused, biting his lip nervously before continuing on. "Sometimes I wish Hetty never brought him on board."

Callen couldn't hide the shock in hearing those words. No matter what had happened to the cop, he still thought that Deeks was a good agent and mostly, a good person. "You can't really think that!"

"No? He has always been a pain in the ass, always in trouble... and always causing trouble. Just look at Kensi, I have never seen her like she is now."

"Of course she's never been like she is now! Darn, Sam, can't you see it? We were so used to see her happy, funny, open and you know what? We never realized that Deeks was the reason. The Kensi we're seeing right now is the Kensi we had before Deeks walked into the picture!" Callen's voice raised a little bit too much, even for him, but his words hit the right spot.

The ex-Seal, in fact, looked at his partner, almost in disbelief, swallowing hard.

"Come on, Sam. I know you don't really think what you said," the team leader softened his tone, smiling cunningly. "I know you're hurt big guy. You might not have liked him at first, but don't make a fool of me... and of yourself. I know that Deeks was growing on you and you told me not more than two weeks ago that you think he is very good for a cop. Coming from you, that's a big compliment."

"It doesn't change the fact that he... that he ruined everything!" Sam snapped, irritated because his partner had caught him out.

Callen's smile turned into a satisfied grin. "I always knew you were such a teddy bear."

"I am not a Teddy Bear! And don't try to put any words in my mouth! I never said that I liked Deeks!"

"But you never said that you hated him either..." winked the team leader.

"Gah, I hate you, G!" Sam shook his head before allowing his voice to calm down. "But it doesn't change the fact that we need to do something to help Kensi. I don't like seeing her like this."

"I know, but we need to give her time and space so she can process things at her own pace." Callen looked out of the window, bringing his fingers to his mouth, "And we better not try to take a position. Spitting sentences about Deeks in her presence is a wrong move. She could take it as our attempt to guide her judgment and emotions. And you know how much Kensi hates that."

"Is it so bad that I want to protect her?" the ex-Seal insisted, sighing heavily.

"She can protect herself, you know that better than me."

"Being skilled in her job doesn't mean that she can protect herself from her own emotions and feelings," Sam was still talking when his attention was caught by a car crossing their path. "Wasn't that Mason?" he asked.

"Yeah and he seemed in a rush. We better follow him," Callen stated, sending a scolding glance at his partner "And as Hetty would say, let's follow him discretely."

"Hey, are you judging my driving skills? If I remember correctly you've never complained about it before... you only complained when Kensi drove you around!" Sam smirked, flashing a dimpled smile.

"No, I never complained about your driving skills, only about the way you move. Sometimes you're like bull in a china shop!"

"You really don't want to walk, do you? Because I can leave you here. I bet you won't complain that much at that point!" the ex-Seal said, making a U-turn and starting to follow Mason's car. "Where do you think he's going?"

"I don't know, but I reckon it might be very important," Callen took out his phone and dialed Ops. "Eric, we're following a Grey Chevy, license plate 6MOD583. It might belong to Petty Officer Derek Mason. He just left the parking lot near the USS Constellation. Can you check the plate and follow the car with Kaleidoscope?"

"Give me a moment and I will give you the information you need," the tech replied as the sound of the keyboard could be heard in the distance. "And here you are. The car is registered to Ayleen Sherman, Commander Officer Harold Sherman's daughter. We have visual on it and on you guys."

"Well, that's interesting. Do you think she's involved?" Sam wondered, still keeping the other car in sight while driving.

"Maybe or it could even be possible that it's Sherman who is involved. We always suspected that Randall was too small a fish to run the whole operation. Maybe having Sherman on his side was simply perfect," Callen stated, thinking.

"Ok, guys, I ran a quick search and it seems that Ayleen Sherman and Derek Mason have been dating for three years, but they've known each other since high school," Nell intervened from Ops.

"Things are getting very interesting. Kensi, go talk to Ayleen Sherman. We need to find all the information we can and maybe you can get her to talk and see if she's involved," the team leader suggested, still reflecting on the new developments of the case that were getting more complicated as the time went on. Too many players were involved. The risk that one of them could make a wrong move was very high, as much as the chance that one of them wanted to become the main character. They had to solve this case as soon as possible before more blood was shed.

"On it." Kensi replied firmly, exiting the control room.

"Eric, continue to follow Mason. Any idea of where he might be headed?" Sam was trying to figure out an itinerary, but it was not easy.

"Working on it." The tech told him, working busily on his computer.

"Keep us posted." Callen closed the communication, locking his stare on Mason's car. "Where are you going, Derek? Who are you going to meet?" His eyes moved from the road to his partner, who nodded solemnly.

They were not going to miss this opportunity, so they had to do everything very carefully, without any mistakes. It was simply too important to wrap up the case and finally forget about this whole story that was tearing their team apart. The sooner they could close it, the sooner they could move on with their lives. And God, they truly needed it.

* * *

Deeks' trained eyes scanned their position. They were in an industrial area not far from the commercial docks, surrounded by containers and big cargo containers. It was a perfect place for an exchange or for the kind of meeting they were going to have. Lara's men were controlling every access point to the area and were keeping a close eye on every suspicious movement.

Larry was discussing animatedly with his sister and the cop didn't need Kensi's talent of reading lips to understand what was being said. He was the subject of the conversation, of course. A cunning grin curved his lips at the thought that Larry DeBon was a bit upset because of his presence here.

"Are you crazy, sis? Why did you bring him here with us? You know I don't trust him!" The man said waving his hands in the air, unable to hide his frustration. "Damn it, Lara. He is a bloody cop!"

"Yes, he is a cop who helped us to get what we needed. I don't have to remind you that it was because of him that we burst into that depot and stole all the drugs." Lara cast a cold stance at her brother, annoyed by his insistence. The story was getting old and she couldn't stand it anymore.

"I don't like it, sis. How many times has my instinct been wrong?" Insisted Larry studying Deeks and his behavior in distance. "And you should stop fucking him. Maybe your mind would be a little clearer!"

"I'll pretend you didn't say that, Larry. You're out of line here!" she pointed her finger at her brother's chest threateningly, incinerating him with her dark eyes. Her voice was steady and cold and in moments like this one, people could understand why she was in charge.

"This is my organization, my business, my decision and I don't want to hear another complaint from you. If you don't agree with me or with the way I'm taking care of this deal, well, you can leave." She looked at Larry straight in the eyes, without mercy. "And consider yourself lucky that you're my brother. Any other man who dared to talk to me like that would be lying six feet under!"

"You're making a big mistake!" the man yelled between ground teeth as he walked away. He moved towards Deeks and stopped next to the cop without even looking at him. "I haven't quite figured out what's your game cop, but I am keeping a close eye on you. Don't feel too comfortable around here because what I did to you the other day will be nothing compared to what I'm going to do to you the next time."

The blond detective didn't lose his composure, but smirked. "What do you think your sister would do if I told her what you did?" Deeks could see a hint of panic in the other man's expression and a little twitch in his mouth because of the growing nervousness. His eyes sparkled with satisfaction. "See? You should start looking at your own back, Larry dear..."

"Don't you dare threaten me, you bloody junkie!" replied DeBon in a mix of anger and worry. Lara might be his sister but when she was upset and felt betrayed, she was without a conscience, ruthless.

"Oh yes, I am a bloody junkie," the cop swallowed hard at the weight of his admission. It was the first time he had said it out loud and it sounded so wrong even at his own ears. "But I am holding a knife at your throat and I am ready to slice it."

Larry shuddered, trembling as his hands curled into tight fists. "Do you really think she cares? You're just another toy for her. Once she is bored of you, she will throw you away, in the trash, where a piece of shit like you belongs!" DeBon laughed with a chilling sound.

Deeks stared at the other man with a cold stare, ready to reply when one of Lara's men whistled, warning them of the arrival of a car.

"He's here!" the woman shouted and her brother trotted up to join her.

The cop observed the entire scene, narrowing his blue eyes to see who was the man approaching. It didn't take him too long to put the driving figure into focus. "Well, well, well. It seems that Sam and Callen missed something here." He smirked, watching Petty Officer Derek Mason get out of the car and greet the DeBon's siblings.

Lara seemed perfectly comfortable in her position, sure of herself and of the power her figure transmitted. She didn't show any kind of nervousness. Larry instead was very anxious as he wanted to finish the deal as soon as possible. Mason was another story. He was on edge and sweaty. His hands played nervously and he was unable to stand still.

"Let's go inside and talk about our little business," Lara said as she pointed to one of the smallest warehouses in the area. Her lips curled into a little smile as she guided the Petty Officer inside. Larry followed them and so did Deeks and the other men; only a couple of them had been left outside to guard the place.

Mason became even more nervous, feeling clearly at a disadvantage. "So, I hear that you got it all," he started to say with a shaky voice.

"And I heard that the Constellation won't be able to take to sea for a while," Larry remarked dryly. "How do you plan to do your selling and do what we pay you to do without leaving the docks?"

"Don't worry about it, as you well know, I have influential people on my side. We are simply waiting for things to calm down a little," Mason replied, grinning for the first time since his arrival.

As a reflex to this statement, Deeks opened his ears, "Come on, tell me what I want to know," he murmured to himself, praying that the sailor would reveal the name of the mole.

"Mason, I want to know if you're able to sell my heroin. Yes or no?" Lara intervened, taking charge of the conversation, once again showing who was the boss. "I can't risk giving you the usual amount if you can't weigh anchor and distribute it abroad!"

Her logic and resoluteness was remarkable, the cop thought, listening to her argumentation and her steady tone. It was clear how people could be easily fascinated and charmed by her. She was a beauty but with a brain - a deadly combination. Once again, Deeks found himself thinking about Kensi, another deadly combination, the only one that really interested him.

"Don't worry Lara. We will be able to do our job, as usual." Mason reassured the woman, nodding firmly.

The use of the plural put the detective on alert and again. He hoped that the Petty Officer would reveal the name of his associates.

"My father and his friend at NCIS will set things straight in a blink of an eye so Commander Sherman and I will be able to do our job as we always do," continued Derek, as his confidence grew word after word.

_Family business_, that was interesting, reflected Deeks, even if he didn't know who Mason's father was. For sure he would probably be an important person. "Ok, now you have only to tell me one name, one more name... come on." His train of thoughts was interrupted when his eyes caught some movement from one of the windows on the first floor. "Not now, damn it!"

The silhouettes of Sam and Callen were clearly in sight and exposed as the two NCIS agents were checking the inside of the warehouse. Knowing them, they had easily taken care of the two guards outside.

The cop's expression darkened when he realized that Larry and a couple of his well-armed men could easily spot his former teammates whose stares were probably a little shielded by the smoked and dusty glass of the window. The two agents were too exposed.

Deeks' eyes were locked on DeBon and his two thugs, praying that they didn't lift their gaze. His heart started beating madly as adrenaline pumped in his system. He knew that he needed to be very careful and mostly, that he had to do something to protect Callen and Sam.

The blond detective was still thinking about the possible scenarios, when he saw one of the guards tighten his hold on his weapon whilst raising his gaze. There was no time left, no time to waste. He had to act. Now!

"The Feds!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, taking out his gun and shooting at his former teammates, missing them on purpose.

Hell broke loose immediately. Sam and Callen found shelter and in turns, they shot back.

Larry and Lara hid behind some crates and so did Deeks but on the opposite side where he could have a better view of the two agents and even of DeBon's men. He aimed his weapon to Sam and Callen and for a moment their eyes met. Disappointment, sense of betrayal and anger could be read in the two older men's expression, something that touched the cop deeply, making him feel lonely, as he had never been in his whole life.

The two agents answered his fire, pinning him down.

"Marty!" Lara called for him, a hint of worry filled her usually collected voice.

"I'm good, but I am a bit stuck!" Deeks replied, hiding as much as he could.

"Fucking idiot!" Larry shouted as he continued shooting.

Suddenly a pained scream resounded clearly between a gunshot and another. Mason was down, hit by a bullet in his leg, crying like a baby.

Sam's shots filled the air and soon one of DeBon's men was dead. Another one was reached by Callen's bullet.

"We need to get out of here. Now!" Larry told his sister with urgency, taking her by her arm, but Lara didn't move.

"Now without Marty!" she said firmly.

"You can't be serious. That bloody junkie is screwed up!"

"That bloody junkie just saved your ass and saw what you and your men didn't see! We owe him"" Her eyes were fixed on Deeks' position as bullets ricocheted around him.

"Marty, be ready to run and join us!" She yelled as she started firing her own gun at the Federal agents.

"Deeks, move your junkie ass over here, now!" screamed Larry, peeking out of the crate he was using as a shield.

Deeks didn't need to be told twice. As the bullets started flying, he ran without looking back, closing his eyes, hoping that Sam and Callen were too busy with the two siblings to waste some bullets on him. He knew too well how good they were.

He didn't know how, but the cop managed to reach Lara and Larry, mostly unscathed if it was not for a cut on his cheek.

The woman checked him over, gently touching his face, wiping away the blood, and stroking his ruffled hair. "Let's get out of here now."

"That is music for my ears," Deeks said, grinning.

The three of them aimed their guns at the agents, covering their retreat and finding their way to the back exit. They reached Larry's car and without hesitation, they drove away. Behind them there was only another vehicle instead of the three that had previously reached the place.

Mason's car was abandoned in front of the warehouse as the Petty Officer lay unconscious on the dusty ground inside the warehouse.

The NCIS agents observed the two cars leave with a clear disappointed expression painted on their faces.

"Eric, we need a couple of ambulances and an ME over here. We have Mason. He's been hit but he's alive," Callen said looking at his partner who was barely containing his rage. "Sam..."

"Not now, G," the big man snapped angrily, walking away. "Not now!"

The team leader passed a hand over his face, sighing heavily. "Damn it!" he yelled, turning on his heels and heading inside.

* * *

When Sam and Callen stepped through the wooden door of the Mission, it was clear that their mood was far from idyllic. The ex-Seal sat heavily at his desk, his face dark. Every man with a little bit of sanity knew to leave him alone, to keep far away from him when he was like that.

His partner was a little bit calmer, but his eyes were not able to hide the turmoil going on inside him. This case was getting out of control and every day was worse than the day before. Every new development was simply a punch in their stomachs. "Sam…" the team leader started for the umpteenth time.

"G, I said no! I… I don't want to talk about it now!" Sam almost yelled, releasing his frustration. He couldn't believe it. Not only Deeks had completely embraced the dark side becoming what he had become and being in league with the bad guys, but he even shot at him, warning his new friends of their presence at the warehouse, aiming his gun at them. The ex-Seal, without realizing it, slammed his fist on the desk. Everything went silent around him.

"Mr. Hanna, Mr. Callen. Ops. Now!" Hetty's voice echoed in the silence and didn't give the two agents a chance to disagree with her or to complain.

Sam cast a determined stare at his partner and then climbed the stairs that led to the Operation Room. Callen shook his head and without adding any other words, followed him.

Once the sliding doors opened, they found Nell and Eric already there, along with Hetty, who stood motionless in the middle of the room studying her team. Five minutes of oppressive silence later, Kensi walked into Ops.

"Hey guys," she greeted everyone, sensing immediately that something was not right. The tension in the room was so palpable that it could be easily cut with a knife "Am I missing something?"

"Now that you're here Miss Blye, we can start. First, did you get anything out of Ayleen Sherman?" The Operations Manager asked, nonchalantly.

The female agent cast a questioning glance to Nell who simply shook her head like she wanted to tell her friend that soon she would find out what was happening. "I truly believe that she doesn't know anything about Mason's trafficking. Their relationship has been a bit up and down lately and she hasn't even heard from Mason at all in the last three months. Yesterday her father came to her, asking if she could lend her car to Derek without explaining anything. He simply told her that it was some sort of emergency and that they needed a car, not military related. She seemed really honest, not to mention hurt, when she talked about her boyfriend." Her eyes met Callen's first and Sam's later and she couldn't hold on any longer. "Ok, I am tired of this… well of this!" she indicated her two teammates with a hint of exasperation "Would you mind telling me what's going on here?"

Hetty smiled cunningly, turning to face the ex-Seal "Mr. Hanna, please, tell Miss Blye what happened."

Kensi narrowed her eyes, frowning impatiently. "Sam?" she questioned.

"Ah hell, Hetty! You know exactly what happened! He shot at us! He fucking shot at us and then escaped with DeBon and the woman!" the big man yelled angrily. "He could have killed us!"

"Wait… what… what are you talking about? Who shot at you?" the female agent wondered, sensing a bit of anxiety growing inside of her. An alarm bell started ringing in her ears.

"Deeks," Callen intervened with a serious expression, then taking a deep breath, he started explaining, aware that his younger teammate needed to know even if she was not going to like it. "We followed Mason to the industrial area near the commercial port. It seemed that he had a meeting with Larry DeBon and the mysterious woman."

"Ok, sorry to interrupt you here," Eric finally spoke, a bit relaxed after the tense moments that just went on in the room. "I think that woman is not mysterious anymore. She is Lara DeBon, Larry DeBon's sister. Her record, well actually her whole existence has been deleted from every file, from everything. She was simply a ghost. We were able to trace her and give her a name only because of her husband and some pictures he posted on the net a while ago. Fac-rec found them on a social network so we were able to connect him to her… and the trick was done. She is actually going with her married name, Lara Mosley." The tech smiled satisfied and proud of his job "It was a hard work, but we did it…"

"Interesting," Sam said, with a calmer tone. "Because she seemed very comfortable down there. If I have to say the truth, it looked to me that she was the one holding the reins of the meeting."

"Ok, this is very interesting and all, but what the hell does Deeks have to do with it?" Kensi was trying to keep her agitation and apprehension at bay. Deeks had been involved in a shooting and she still didn't know how he was. He might be wounded… or even dead!

It was Callen who continued with his explanation, coming back from where he left just a few minutes before. "We were observing the meeting that was taking place in a warehouse. We found a good spot to look inside and no one had notice our presence, until… well until Deeks did it. He shouted to alert the siblings and well… he fired at us!"

"That little son of a…" Sam was interrupted by Hetty's cold stare.

"Mr. Hanna, language!"

"Yeah, right, but this didn't change the fact that he shot at us and we're lucky to be alive!" the ex-Seal remarked firmly, clenching his fists.

"But he missed… or you wouldn't be here," Nell admitted candidly.

The team leader was taken aback by her statement. "What do you mean, Nell?"

"I simply said that he missed you both, or you wouldn't be here. We all know that Deeks is good with his gun." The analyst stopped abruptly, reflecting on her own words.

"Oh come on!" Sam shook his head, disappointed for the sudden turn the conversation was taking "We all know what he is now. He was probably so fucked up, that he couldn't even take a right shot!"

Kensi's stomach turned upside down hearing her teammate talk like that. She closed her eyes, trying to control her emotions. She had promised Deeks. She had to play along and not compromise him or his cover.

"Yes, but did you remember when he shot that Chechen guy to save Kensi, after he was shot. He was wounded and had just ran down three flights of stairs, but he didn't miss." Eric followed his partner lead, defending Deeks. "Or last year, on New Years' Eve, when we went to the Luna Park. He was so drunk that was barely standing, but when he played the shooting game, he didn't miss a shot!"

Callen's face wrinkled as he thought deeply at what he had just heard. Was it really possible that Deeks had missed them intentionally? That there was still some loyalty towards them deep inside him? No, he was with Sam here. The man who yelled at them at the boatshed, spitting those heavy words didn't have any loyalty. "I… I think I'm with Sam here. You haven't seen him. You really don't know the extent or the consequences of his addiction."

Once again, Kensi's blood boiled. She wanted to scream to let them know how stupid they were to believe that. How blind they were not to realize that doing what he did, Deeks had probably saved their lives.

"He was probably so wasted that he was not even able to hold his gun!" Sam's words were filled with venom. The disappointment and the anger he still felt towards the cop were not easy to forget or to get over. "And maybe he was still so resentful that he probably wanted to kill us! I am sorry to disappoint you, Deeks, but you were not even that good to aim and reach your target!" he smirked like a kid who had just reached his main goal.

"But…" Nell tried to protest, to add something but the big man, stopped her.

"Enough! I am tired of talking about him. He ruined everything. He had a place, he had people who put up with him, in spite of his stupid jokes and laid back attitude… and he decided to throw that all in the trash. You know what, I don't give a damn about Marty Deeks. At this point, for me he's just another criminal I want to send to jail for the rest of his shitty life!"

"Mr. Hanna, enough!" Hetty shouted. Her eyes seemed ready to incinerate her agent.

"Hetty, look, Sam is just a little mad at the situation…" Callen tried to justify his partner who insisted instead.

"I'm not mad, G. I am furious! I… I trusted him. I welcomed him into my family and look what he did. He fucked it up!" the ex-Seal's voice now was low and full of anger, of resentment.

It was too much. Kensi couldn't resist any longer hearing all of these insults towards her partner. She knew it was wrong, that she was making a big mistake, but words left her mouth before she could even realize it. "Stop!" she yelled, unable to contain her rage. "You are so full of yourself that you didn't even realize what happened! Deeks saved your life, risking his own and you're here spitting on his face!" Her whole body was shaking as she tried to control herself.

"Kensi, you were not there, you…" the team leader attempted to talk to her, but she stopped with a simple gesture of her hand.

"You were so blind not to see it… how could you even start thinking that Deeks could become that kind of man?" She was fighting to hold the angry tears that were forming in her eyes. She locked her stare on Sam, her gaze cold as ever. "He's working undercover!"

In a few words she told them what her partner was working on. Why he was doing it and for who he was working. After she finished, she felt five pairs of eyes looking at her in shock.

"See? He is so good that he fooled all of you." Without adding anything else, she turned on her heels and left.

The two senior agents exchanged a grave look, both passing their hands over their faces, realizing the big mistake they had all made. Callen moved to follow Kensi, but Hetty shook her head, telling him not to do it.

"Let her be," the Operations Manager managed to say, shocked herself because of the revelation. She hadn't seen it coming, not at all. She knew Mr. Deeks was good, but in this, he did an excellent job. She should be proud of him, if she could get over the fact that she had been left in the dark. Hetty walked towards the exit, hands behind her back, her face serious.

"Hetty, where are you going?" the team leader asked frowning. He never liked to see the diminutive woman so lost in her thoughts. It was never a good sign.

"I think our dear Assistant Director Granger has some explanations to do." She didn't even turn back. Hetty walked out of Ops and a deafening silence engulfed the room.

* * *

...and now they finally know :)


	15. Chapter 15

Wow, I have to admit that I didn't expect that there would be people who might like this story, but it seems some of you do like it. I am shocked by your response to last chapter and I can only thank whoever read it or left a review, favorited and followed. You truly made my day!

New chapter now.

And before I could forget, big thanks to Xwing12 because I'd be lost without her precious help.

* * *

Going Under - Chapter 15

Larry drove the car at a steady speed. He didn't need to end under the radar of the Police because of a wrong manoeuvre or because he passed the speed limit. They had decided that they couldn't go to any of their usual places that were probably under surveillance by now. Fortunately, they had some safe houses where they could go and rest, and, not to mention, think about their next move.

He couldn't deny the fact that he was mad. How did the Feds find them? Someone must have tipped them, but who? His eyes went to the rear view mirror and to the man reflected into it. Obviously, Deeks was his main suspect. It was not a mystery that he couldn't stand the man who, by chance, was still a cop and who, by chance, had worked for the Feds for years. It couldn't be a coincidence.

On the other hand, it was Deeks' warning that had saved their lives. If the cop didn't spot the Feds, they would probably be under arrest now.

Lara noted her brother's expression and knowing him very well, she was aware of what was going through his mind. She turned back to take a look at Marty. The blond man was sitting in the back seat, bracing herself, shivering and sweating. Adrenaline had probably left his system at this point and he was clearly starting to feel the craving for a fix. She had been pleasantly surprised to see how well he handled the situation at the warehouse. In spite of his addiction, of his messy situation, he had been focused and determined. His quick mind had solved the situation and only because of that, they were still free.

"How are you doing, Marty?" she asked gently, trying to reach him. "Can you hold on a little while longer?"

Deeks heard her words and he hated them. The pity he detected in her voice was a punch in his already messed up stomach. The familiar gnawing sensation eating him from the inside, the craving, the desire, the hunger, everything reminded him of how wasted he was, of how awful his life was. He didn't have any dignity left, but he still thought that this was for a good cause, that his job was too important, that hundreds of people's lives were much more important than his own. He was just a casualty, collateral damage. A bitter smile curved his lips.

"I'm good," he muttered as a new shiver ran down his back. "Never been better…"

"Don't worry Marty, when we get to the safe house, I will fix you. I promise you," Lara told him, her hand lay on his forearm, squeezing it.

"You know that my dear old friends won't slacken off until they get us all. They can be very insistent, not to mention irritating!" the cop said, straightening up and composing himself.

"They will get what they deserve, if they try to get us!" Larry's hand moved to his gun, safely holstered under his armpit. "I hope you don't mind if I'm going to kill them!" His tone was vicious, filled with venom. "Or are you still loyal to them?"

"I thought I showed you how loyal I am!" Deeks protested. He hoped that his shaky voice didn't betray him, but at least he could always blame the withdrawal. "And if you don't shut up, I'll personally show you how loyal I can be!" Once again, his lips curled into a cunning smirk.

The other man stopped the car abruptly, un-holstering his gun and pointing it directly at Deeks' face. "You only have to try!" His eyes were sending daggers towards the cop, his hand steady. "You're just a little piece of junk for me. You're nothing and you know very well, how much I would enjoy placing a bullet right between your eyes!"

"I thought you'd be more the stabbing-type," the blond detective couldn't resist teasing DeBon. He kept some composure and his voice had a mocking note that irritated the other man even more. "Oopps, maybe I shouldn't have said that." He winked.

"Son of a bitch!" shouted Larry, clearly furious.

"Enough!" It was Lara's turn to yell, then moving her attention to her brother, she stared at him with a cold glare. "Larry, what did Marty mean by that?"

Deeks couldn't hide a satisfied grin, snorting.

"Larry, I said what did he mean with that remark?" she insisted as she grew angrier. "Tell me!" her voice raised.

"He needed to be taught a lesson! I can't allow a piece of shit like him to bed you and to take advantage of you. Don't you see it, sis? Your infatuation for his golden locks is clouding your judgment. You should stop thinking only with what's between your legs." He couldn't finish the sentence because Lara slapped him, with all of her strength.

"I have already warned you, Larry. You're my brother and I love you, but you're getting out of line and I don't know how long I will be able to tolerate your idiocy!" Lara's voice was low and calculating and sent chills down her brother's spine. "You're lucky that Marty didn't tell me what you did the day he came back, because I was so furious that I didn't know what I could have done!"

Larry sent a scolding gaze at the cop, who smiled without saying anything. There was no need. This was a victory to him.

"Now, take us to the safe house. We have a lot of things to do." She cut it short, sinking back into her seat. "And don't say a word. I don't want to hear your voice for a day, at least!"

And so her brother did. The rest of the drive was spent in silence. Larry was literally boiling with anger. His hands clenched the steering wheel with such strength that his knuckles whitened for the effort. Lara's mind was already thinking about their next moves, whilst Deeks was simply trying to get to the house without getting sick. And he managed to do so, until the car stopped. Once the engine was turned off, he rushed out of the car and threw up.

"And you still care about that pitiful example of human being… sorry sis, but I really don't get it!" Without waiting for a reply, Larry moved inside the house while Lara walked towards the cop who was bent with his hands on his knees, panting heavily. When he saw her approach, he wiped his mouth and tried to straighten up.

"Marty…"

"No, please… just give me some time. Ok?" he told her, heading towards the safe house.

The woman watched him walk unsteady on his feet, stunned by his pride. He hated being pitied, he hated feeling so broken. She needed to give him credit for this. For a moment she stopped there, in the middle of nowhere, reflecting on the mystery that was Marty Deeks. She had never met anyone like him. He was a real mess, but still had a great amount of dignity that most people in the whole world didn't even have in a normal life. The man had so many layers and she was sure that she had uncovered only a few of them. Sighing, she went inside, joining the two men. "Larry fix us something to eat," she ordered steadily.

"And I bet you're going to take care of your puppy dog." Her brother couldn't help himself. He knew that he couldn't trust the cop. There was something he could not put a finger on that was driving him crazy. Larry was aware that he could only keep a close eye on the detective and wait for a wrong move. Then it will be time for a showdown with his sister.

"Shut up, Larry. And do what I told you!" Lara saw that Deeks was attempting to sit on the couch, so she stopped him. "Marty, go to the bedroom. I will come to you in a moment."

The cop swallowed partly in expectation for what was coming and partly in resignation. "Yeah, thanks." He stepped into the bedroom and lay in bed on his side, curling to stop the shivering. It took ten minutes for the gorgeous woman to join him.

She sat next to him, gently caressing his hair. "It's ok, Marty. Soon you'll be fine. Relax… just relax…"

He closed his eyes, once again holding the tears that were threatening to come out, and he felt Lara maneuvering with the syringe whose needle soon found its way through his vein. Deeks wanted to fight this, wanted to hate the warm sensation that was engulfing him, calming him and making him feel at peace, but there was nothing he could do against it. He could only welcome that sensation and enjoy it. The delicate touch of her silky lips was the last thing he remembered before slipping into oblivion.

"Sleep tight, Marty. Just rest." Lara stroked his hair until she saw him relax under her touch, until the tension left every muscle, every nerve of his body. She planted a tender kiss on his forehead, then she got up and exited the room, turning the light off.

* * *

Everything around her was spinning and her legs felt so weak that standing was becoming very hard. Kensi leaned against a wall outside the Mission and slowly allowed her body to slide down until she sat heavily on the ground. She brought her knees to her chest and embraced them.

She couldn't believe she did it. She had promised Deeks that she would never say a word about his undercover assignment, but in the end she had betrayed his trust. And now, his life was at stake. There was a mole at the LA office of NCIS, a man her partner was desperately looking for, a man who could get him killed at this point.

"Oh God, what did I do? Idiot, Idiot, Idiot!" She slammed her head on her knees as she wanted to punish herself for her carelessness. What if the mole had found out about Deeks?

Tears veiled her eyes at the idea of her partner's life was in danger, but it had been too much for her to listen to Sam and Callen spitting sentences about him, knowing that he hadn't done anything wrong other than do his job. A job for which he had sacrificed himself and had probably ruined his entire life. Kensi still had in front of her eyes, the image of Deeks that day when he showed up at her apartment. Besides the wounds caused by the attack he had been subjected too, Deeks was a man without any will, almost destroyed by the fact that he had probably lost everything that mattered to him, his job, his place at NCIS and the respect of the people he considered his only family. He was resigned to his fate, to be alone again.

Now, with her stupidity, she had made things even worse. "Will you ever forgive me, Deeks?" she asked to the air.

Her first instinct was to contact him or to call Bates so he could call her partner, but she was aware that doing that was risky. If someone was working from the inside, probably their phones could be under surveillance. Calling Deeks could be a hazard and she didn't want to do more damage than she had already done. Her only option was to go to the precinct and to talk to Bates. There was no other way. Again a doubt formed in her brain. What if the mole knew about the Op right now? Someone might be following her and find out where she was going.

Kensi felt her head pounding, like it was ready to explode. She had messed up things pretty bad this time. In the mere attempt of defending her partner, she may have signed his death sentence. Her hands went through her hair, her nails digging into her scalp. "Think, Kensi. Think!" she cried out loud.

"Are you talking to yourself now?" a kind voice interrupted her self-destruction.

"Nell, hey…" she mumbled, wiping away the tears that were rolling down her cheek. As always, she didn't want anyone to see her weakness, especially any of her coworkers. There was only one person whom she allowed to see herself; to lower her shields and that person was Deeks.

The petite analyst smiled gently, joining her on the ground, bumping her shoulder against her friend's. "How are you feeling?" she wondered sweetly.

Kensi hesitated before answering. How was she feeling? She really didn't know. She was mad, she was disappointed, she was sad, maybe a mix of all of them. "I screwed up big time, Nell, and now Deeks is in danger."

"You don't know that. We were in Ops when we… well when you told us. It's not easy for anyone to breach in our system, especially there. As we speak, Eric is running a search to see if there are any bugs anywhere."

Knowing that her friends were backing her up made her feel a little bit better. But the heavy weight on her shoulders was still there. "I betrayed him, Nell. I betrayed his trust. I promised him that I would not tell anyone and look what I did! I am supposed to be a trained agent. I shouldn't allow my emotions to cloud my judgment, I should be able to do my job in every situation, but I… I failed. And mostly I failed him."

"Hey, don't see things so dark. We don't know yet if anyone else, other than us, heard what you told us." Nell took her hand in hers, squeezing it. "And you're human, Kensi. Emotions are not so easy to keep at bay, especially after everything you have been through lately. It must have been a heavy burden to carry. How long did you know? Don't tell me from the beginning because you deserve an Oscar for your interpretation if that was the case…"

A genuine smile curved Kensi's lips. "Last weekend, Deeks showed up at my door. At first, I didn't want anything to do with him. He hurt me so much and said things to me that…" she paused sighing heavily. "But just as he was about to leave, he literally collapsed in my arms. Someone beat him and stabbed him, Larry DeBon did it, because… let's say that DeBon doesn't like Deeks that much."

"Beaten and stabbed? Why didn't you take him to the hospital? Was he… was it bad?" the analyst asked, slightly concerned by the news.

"Fortunately, the wound was not too bad, I think it was just a warning and Deeks begged me not to take him to the hospital. You know, with everything happening at LAPD depot and all, it was not safe for him." The agent closed her eyes, taking a long, deep breath before continuing talking. "He told me everything that day, Nell, and it was the last time I have heard from him."

Nell sensed the struggle in her friend's voice, her deep sorrow and worry, so she felt the need to comfort her. "Kensi, you know Deeks. He's good at what he does. I am sure that he has a back-up plan in case he needs one. I'm sure he's ok."

"Nell, he's not ok. Even if I didn't ruin his cover, he's far from ok." Kensi lifted her face to the sky, fighting the tears that were once again forming in her eyes "He was so… he's the shadow of the man he was. This assignment is killing him Nell, if one of the DeBon's siblings doesn't kill him first. I can't believe that Granger sent him under, all alone. Damn it! And why didn't he tell me anything? We're partners. I could have helped him… have his back."

"Maybe he simply couldn't do that. Kensi, I know Deeks, he would never lie to you or keep you in the dark. That man is crazy about you, he'd do everything for you. If he did what he did, it was to protect you and to protect the mission."

But Nell's words didn't seem to calm or reassure Kensi.

"I can understand that it was about his safety and the safety of the operation, but he could have sent me a signal. Something… we all believed him when he shouted at us. We all believed that he was an addict. I should have known that itwas a load of crap. Man, Deeks hates needles… he faints all the time he has a blood sample." She realized that she was rambling, simply letting the words come out of her mouth, without any filters to block them.

The petite analyst felt really bad for her friend who never usually showed her emotions so openly. But right now, she had let all of her walls fall. She guided Kensi's head to her shoulder. "I know you didn't believe that. You were the only one who didn't want to accept it because you know him better than anyone else. You two have a special bond and you knew that something was not right. Don't beat yourself up too much."

Kensi lifted her stare, composing herself. "But what if I ruined everything now? What if I got him killed because I was simply defending him? I will never be able to forgive myself."

Nell was replying to her when they heard footsteps approaching. The two women straightened up, but assumed a more relaxed position when they realized it was Eric.

"Kensi, Callen and Sam are headed to the boatshed to interrogate Mason who has been released from the hospital after been patched up. They asked me to tell you to join them there." The tech smiled, sensing that something was going on between the two women, but he was sensitive enough not to ask any questions.

"Thanks Eric." Kensi nodded, standing up. "I better get going." She turned her face to Nell, sending her a thankful look.

"You're welcome," the petite analyst whispered, squeezing her friend's hand before she left.

"Is… is everything ok?" Finally, Eric found the courage to wonder.

His partner sighed, inhaling deeply. "I do hope so, Eric. I do hope so." And without adding anything else, she passed by him and walked back into the mission.

* * *

Hetty approached Owen Granger's office with a steady pace. A myriad of thoughts were running through her mind, but there was one thing that she saw very clear. She had been played; she didn't like a single bit of it and she could not force herself to get over it. Sadly, this was not all. The worst was that she had been used and this was something she couldn't stand.

She passed Carroll, Granger's assistant, sitting at his desk and she didn't so much as look at him. With firm expression and resoluteness, the Operations Manager stormed into the Assistant Director's office .

"Hetty, charming as always," Granger greeted her, sensing immediately that something was wrong. The diminutive woman's eyes were cold and her lips tightened up. "What can I do for you?"

"Why don't you start from the beginning, Owen?"

"The beginning of what?" the Assistant Director tensed, feeling her scrutinizing stare on him. He tried to play along and look nonchalant, but he couldn't deny the fact that Hetty was obviously mad and he knew very well not to cross her when she was in this state of mind. She was deadly.

"Oh cut the crap, Owen! I know about your secret operation. I know about Mr. Deeks' assignment!" She slammed her hands on his desk, without losing too much of her composure.

"If you already know, why are you here?" Granger tried to cover his surprise using his charm. He hadn't expected anyone to find out since he had been very careful not to leave any traces behind. No one at NCIS knew about this operation, other than himself. Only Bates and Deeks were involved.

"Enough of your games! Why didn't you tell me? You sent one of my men out for a very difficult mission, without back up… without even an alias to hide behind. You put his life at risk and you didn't even take it upon yourself to keep me in the loop! I have seen you do a lot of stupid things, but this beats them all, hands down!"

"There's no need to raise your voice. We are two civil people, so we can discuss this matter like civil people. Please, have a seat." He indicated the chair in front of him as he got up and moved to a cabinet from which he retrieved a bottle of scotch and two glasses. "And just for your information, Deeks is not one of your men. He's LAPD."

"Mr. Deeks has been an integral part of my team for the past three years, so that makes him one of mine!" There was a dangerous note in her voice that could chill everyone's bones, but Granger knew her very well, so at least he knew how to handle her.

"I can grant you this, Henrietta, but this was a LAPD operation and…" he didn't manage to finish the sentence as Hetty interrupted him brusquely.

"Oh Bugger! We all know that this was your idea! I know you, Owen. I know how your little sick mind works. You can make everyone else believe that it was Bates' idea, but you can't fool me. Just be warned, if anything bad happens to Mr. Deeks, you will be considered responsible and Director Vance will hear from me!" Her eyes were burning with flames that she directed to the man in front of her. "You know what you did to him, Owen? This entire operation is already a load of crap, but pray that it will end soon, with no casualties."

"Are you doubting your boy, Henrietta? You were the one who always sang the praise of his abilities. This was his chance to show how good he really was." The smile disappeared from the Assistant Director's face leaving space for a serious and determined expression. "He knew what he was going to step into. I didn't force him to take this assignment and I didn't tell him to become an addict! It was entirely his choice!"

"He didn't have a choice, Owen!" Hetty snapped this time, losing her control for the first time in ages. Even Granger was taken aback by her outburst. "You used his loyalty, his honesty, his sense of duty to force him to do this job. You manipulated him, putting him in a corner from which he couldn't get out. Mr. Deeks is just too good of a man to refuse to do his job, especially knowing that he could save some lives doing it and you used it to your advantage."

"I know why you're so angry, Henrietta. You are so mad, because you don't have control this time; that you can't move the pawns on the chessboard as you usually do. It's not about Deeks. It's about you, as always. Isn't it a bit hypocritical that you are the one upset, when you've been doing the same thing for the past twenty years? Do the members of your team know how many times you used them without them even noticing it?" The man was using his most teasing tone, showing the diminutive woman that he was not intimidated by her or her tricks, that he knew her very well.

The Operations Manager looked at him straight in the eyes, without even batting an eyelid. "I'll pretend I didn't hear what you said, Owen, because everything I did in the past twenty years was helping my agents to get the work done and to save our country. What you did was just a selfish act to make a big name of yourself," she paused letting her words sink into Granger's brain. "But I am going to tell you again, if something happens to Mr. Deeks, there will be nothing that will save you from my fury or from my team's. Be warned!"

A cold shiver ran down his spine; for the first time since they started this conversation, Granger felt a sense of uneasiness growing inside of him. "You know that you can't threaten me, Henrietta. I simply did my job!"

"You should have told me before sending him under! He is my responsibility, not yours!" Once again, her voice raised to a level no one had ever heard.

The Assistant Director was still a bit shaken by her threat, but at least he was satisfied that he had forced Hetty to lose her control, something that didn't happen very often. "Well, since he's your responsibility, if he fails, it will be your fault," he smirked cunningly.

"You better pray that he's not going to fail, because you won't see the dawn of a new day then!" with that, she turned on her heels, leaving a swallowing Granger to lick his wounds. She passed by Fred Carroll, without even acknowledging him and soon she disappeared from sight.

"Carroll!" The Assistant Director shouted, angrily.

"Yes, sir," his assistant jumped on his feet and joined him in the office.

"Prepare my car. I need to get out. Now! And close the door when you step out of my office," he ordered, feeling the frustration grow. He pressed some keys on his laptop and opened a protected phone line. He waited for someone to pick up his call and then said, "We have a problem. We need to talk!"


	16. Chapter 16

Once again, I can only thank everyone who's reading, reviewing, following or adding this story to favorite. It truly means a lot to me.

And just because I'd be lost without her, a big thank you to Xwing12 for her great help!

Now, up with the new chapter.

* * *

Going Under - Chapter 16

Derek Mason was scared, plain and simple. He was sitting all alone in a small room with wooden walls. A bunch of Feds was guarding him and the gunshot wound in his leg burnt like hell. He was screwed, but he knew that he had to keep his mouth shut and let his father handle the situation. If he was able to stay calm and play along for a couple of hours, everything would be all right. His father was not going to let him rot in jail.

His forehead became sweaty at the thought. What if his father didn't think he was worth it? What if he didn't move a single hand to help him? No… no, no. _Don't even think about that_, he silently told himself. _Relax, play cool and soon you'll be home._

The Petty Officer was still trying to convince himself, to give himself some energy not to break down, when the door opened and the two agents that had come to the Constellation to talk about Randall walked inside. He remembered them very well, even by name, and he couldn't deny the fact that they both gave him chills as they did the previous time they met.

The smallest man with piercing blue eyes and short hair, Agent Callen, sat in front of him whilst the intimidating black man, Agent Hanna, stood in the corner, his dark gaze locked on him, menacingly. Saying that his uneasiness was growing was as an euphemism. "I have nothing to tell you, so you better allow me to call my lawyer!"

"Why do all of them ask immediately for a lawyer?" the blue eyed man asked nonchalantly, turning to look at his big partner.

"Look, agent Callen. I didn't do anything wrong. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, so if you please let me call my lawyer, we can solve this issue without any further complication." Mason talked hoping that his voice didn't betray his nervousness.

Without taking his glance away from him, Callen opened the folder he had laid on the table. The folder revealed some gruesome pictures of Randall's dead body.

"Let's talk about your buddy, Randall. I bet you know what happened to him and I'm not talking about that he's dead, which is obvious, but about who killed him."

Derek swallowed hard and turned his face away from the photographs that now covered most of the table.

"Look at them," Agent Hanna told him with a firm tone that didn't give him any chance to do otherwise.

Mason bit his lip nervously as his eyes cast a furtive look at his friend's body, at the pool of blood behind his head, at the paleness of his skin, at the open blank eyes staring in the air. His stomach turned upside down and for a moment, he thought he was going to be sick.

"Don't tell me that this hurts your sensibility," Agent Callen mocked him.

The big man moved quickly towards the table and slammed his hand on it. "You're part of the US Navy and you're afraid to look at this? You're such a shame, now I know why you dishonored your Country, your comrades, your own name… because you're weak and pathetic!"

"I didn't dishonor my Country! I…"

"Please continue," intervened calmly Callen, narrowing his eyes, smirking.

Petty Officer Mason closed his eyes, shaking his head. He knew he was screwed and that there was no sense in denying the evidence. Maybe if he told NCIS everything he knew, he could get a light sentence, but what was his father going to say? Why was he bothering too much about his father though? The old man never considered him good enough and even if he had managed to make a lot of good deals selling drugs abroad, his father never complimented him once. Derek cursed silently thinking that he would never be able to fill the shoes of his dead brother.

"So, what were you going to say?" Agent Hanna pressed him with a cunning grin curling his lips.

Mason passed a hand over his face while the other rubbed his injured leg that seemed to burn even more than before. Sighing and looking defeated, he finally spoke, "What do you want to know?" He knew that his life was going to change drastically from this moment, but maybe it was his chance to redeem himself and have a better life, a normal life, after he paid his debt with justice.

"Just start from the beginning," Agent Callen invited him to tell them the whole story.

Derek thought about the easiest way to get this down, but simply there wasn't any easy way. He was aware that what he did was wrong and had probably cost a lot of lives, but when everything started he had seen this as a game, as something to get his father's attention. The more the days, the months, the years passed, the more complicated things became. Randall's death had been the last straw. Taking a long, deep breath, he finally started talking.

* * *

Sam and Callen hadn't imagined this to be so simple. They thought that it would be more complicated to get Mason to talk, but the man, after the first moment of diffidence, had quickly surrendered to their pressure and here he was, spitting everything out. They were sitting in front of him, listening intently to everything the Petty Officer was telling them.

Kensi was in the adjacent room, watching the entire scene from the plasma screen and ready to contact Eric and Nell in case something came up that needed their expertise or skills.

"So you're telling us that everything started four years ago when your father had his first contact with the DeBon's family," Callen said, leaning against the back of his chair.

"Yeah, I don't know exactly how they met, but it seems that one of my father's old friends was a close friend of the old DeBon, Larry and Lara's father. I know that there were a couple of meetings before my dad came to me and told me about this opportunity to make some extra money. You know, my father had made some bad investments and let's say that we needed some cash." Mason was clearly ashamed and not very proud of the picture he was painting of his family. "My brother had just died in Afghanistan and both my parents were not coping very well with that." He tried to justify his and his father's behavior, but he was not very convincing, not even to his own ears. "Anyway, we knew that we could make good deals with the DeBons. They provided us some kind of drug and we sold it all around the world using The US Constellation as a base for the distribution. The ship touched some interesting markets and we were able to get a lot of income. Let's just say that my father didn't have great faith in my ability, because he put Commander Sherman in charge of the operations. They had known each other for a long time and Sherman was easy to be convinced since he had a great respect for my father."

The two agents were taking mental notes, letting the man explain everything before starting to ask him questions. They wanted to have a complete overview of the situation before going into specifics. "Sherman was in charge and you were the second in command. How did Randall enter in the picture?"

Mason's face darkened and his eyes went to the folder on the table where he knew the gruesome pictures of his friends had been put back. "The business was getting bigger and bigger and my father thought that we needed another hand. He asked me if I knew someone reliable and Dave was the first name that came to me. We've known each other since high school and I was aware that he was always open to some extra income. Dad managed to get him on board of the Constellation," his voice cracked a little when he said that, probably remembering how his friend ended up dying in that brutal way. There was even a hint of regret in his words, but he continued talking, swallowing and licking his lips nervously. "Everything was going on pretty well. We were doing good. The business was solid and the relationship with the DeBon's siblings was good, until some months ago. Dave became suddenly very excited about a new big stash of heroin that LAPD confiscated from some drug lord. He had a friend at LAPD who offered to give us the chance to get our hands on that heroin. The siblings were more than interested. They are not stupid. They could recognize a good opportunity when they saw one. It was the perfect deal. After this one, we could even retire because we were talking about a huge amount of heroin, first class stuff and all. But I think Dave lost his mind and greed clouded his judgment. I didn't know he had contacted that Ramirez guy. I would have stopped him if I knew, but when I found out, it was too late."

Kensi felt a pang at her stomach when the Petty Officer named Ramirez. Memories came to her mind and she couldn't stop herself from thinking about Deeks. Her hands clenched tightly into fists, as she bit her lips.

The sound of the boatshed door opening and then closing almost immediately made her jerk.

"I'm sorry, Miss Blye. It was not my intention to startle you." Hetty's voice was calm as usual and if she noticed a certain anxiety in her female agent, she didn't show it at all. "How is it going?" she asked, her eyes were directed at the big plasma screen.

"He's talking, telling everything. I think he's absolutely scared, probably more of his father than of the DeBons," Kensi's shoulders relaxed a little as a bit of the tension left her body. She silently asked the Operations Manager for her discretion. She knew that sooner or later the diminutive woman would want to have a long talk with her, but right now, they had more important matters to take care of than her personal issues.

"Did he say anything about the mole? Of the NCIS agent who is protecting them and their trafficking?" Hetty hated the fact that someone working at her office was betraying them all and was acting behind their backs, but mostly she couldn't stand the fact that she had not been smart enough to realize it. Was she losing her touch? Was she getting too old for this job?

"No, not yet, but with how quick he is spilling out information, well, it will happen sooner than we imagined." The agent couldn't hide a grin. The quicker they solved the case, the sooner Deeks would be back with them.

Meanwhile, inside the interrogation room, Mason continued to talk. "I… I started to be very scared about this whole thing and I thought that after this failure, the siblings won't want to have anything to do with us, for a while. Man I hoped that this was the case, because those two simply terrify me. Larry is a psychopath and always on the edge, ready to use his damn gun or his freaking knife, but it's Lara the one you have to fear. She seems so calm and collected, but she's merciless and not forgiving at all. She gave me chills." He took a long breath as he tried to control his hands and his whole body that were shaking violently.

Sam and Callen observed his behavior intently. The man was sweating and was unable to stay still while talking about the siblings. This was clearly something they could use to their advantage. "According to the fact that you were there at the meeting, I take that they called you instead," the team leader suggested, giving a new hint to the man to go on with his confession.

"Yes, they called me. They said that there was a new player in the game, someone who could help them to get the heroin and that they would contact me when they were ready to make a new deal. Some days later I heard on the news that some drug has been stolen from a LAPD's warehouse and I knew that soon they were going to ask us for a meeting and this is how I ended up here with you." The Petty Officer moved his hand through his short hair, clearly anxious and worried "You have to protect me. If those two find out that I'm talking to you, I'm dead… not to mention what my father would do to me." Panic and terror could be easily read in his green eyes.

"We can help you, but you have to help us a little bit more," Sam stated firmly, locking his stared on the younger man.

"I told you everything. What more can I do for you?" the Petty Officer was clearly frustrated. What if the Feds believed that he didn't tell them enough? What if they won't protect him? What if they will simply send him to jail? He didn't want to die, not so soon and not because of this shitty story.

"You said that Randall knew someone at LAPD, someone who tipped him on the drug. Do you have an idea of who this man is?" asked Sam, his voice was quiet but as usual his imposing figure could really scare anyone and Mason was no exception.

"No, I don't know who he is and Dave never told me his name. He only said that he was an experienced cop who had an important position." Derek looked from one agent to another, clearly scared "Look, I'm telling the truth. I don't even know in what precinct that cop worked!"

Callen didn't have any doubt that the man was telling the truth. There was that desperation in Mason's eyes that only honest people had when they thought no one believed them "You don't need to be afraid, Derek. We believe you."

"You do?" the Petty Officer murmured, still unsure. He was afraid the Feds were tricking him.

"Yes, we do," continued the team leader "But there's another name that you can tell us. We know that there's someone here at NCIS who is covering for you and for your trafficking. Someone close enough to keep you safe from any intervention from our part. We need to know who is the mole and then we'll make arrangement for a good treatment for you."

Mason's face brightened up. This was something he could do and then finally he was done with the Feds, with their interrogation. "This is something I can do. That man is just another son of a bitch who happens to be my father's best friend from school. His name is…"

Silence fell in the room as Mason said the name. Callen and Sam exchanged a shocked glance before standing up and talking straight into the camera "Kensi, did you hear that?" the ex-Seal asked, clearly anxious.

Outside, Kensi turned her attention to Hetty who stood still, stone-faced, with her skin that had lost all of its color.

"Hetty?" the NCIS agent asked almost in shock. She had never seen the Operations Manager so touched by something, so scared.

The diminutive woman's eyes were still locked on the screen when she whispered "Oh bugger… I think I've just signed Mr. Deeks' death sentence."

* * *

Deeks woke up, disoriented and confused, almost not knowing where he was. The room was unfamiliar to him, with wooden walls, plaid red and white curtains covering the windows and country style furniture. He pulled himself into a sitting position in the king size bed he was lying on and dizziness caught him immediately.

The burning thirst of his throat gave him a sign of what had happened as memories came suddenly back to him. The meeting with Petty Officer Mason, the gunfire, Sam and Callen, the escape to a safe place… Lara giving him the shot. He passed one hand through his sweaty, unusually longer hair, taking a long breath. Man, how did he end up like this? How did he end up so screwed and wasted? The cop couldn't stand this operation anymore. It was starting to get to him badly and he felt that his mind was finding it hard to stay focused for a long period of time. What if he made a mistake? What if he let something slip from his mouth when he was not able to control his body or his brain?

The sun filtered from the window and grazed his tired face. It was warm and probably the only little detail of normality, something real, something that was not a lie. Something that kept him grounded. It was silly how just a little thing like a ray of light can give him strength and energy to go on.

Deeks took a deep breath and the aroma of fresh coffee invaded his nostrils, reinvigorating him. He forced his almost uncooperative body to get up and, on unsteady feet, he walked out of the bedroom. He heard voices in the distance, so he followed them and found himself in the kitchen where Lara and Larry were discussing animatedly. One of their men was standing near the door and another one was at the window, looking outside. The last one who survived the gunfire, was probably in the yard, checking the perimeter.

Without saying a single word, the cop opened the water of the sink and drank the fresh water avidly, washing his face when he had finished. He sensed Larry's hostile gaze on his back, but he simply ignored it.

Lara turned to look at him. A kind smile curved his lips. "Hey, how are you feeling?" she asked.

"I'll be better after I get a cup of that coffee," Deeks replied, sitting beside her, right in front of her brother. "Can you hand me a cup, Larry?" he used his most mocking tone, knowing that it would unnerve the man. There was something incredibly fulfilling and satisfying in driving DeBon mad.

"Go to hell, cop! Get your sorry ass up and pour one yourself! I'm not your bloody servant!" Larry's eyes were cold as stone and his jaw tightened.

"Larry, stop being an asshole!" Lara scolded him, irritating him even more.

The cop could only grin at the scene. It was impossible to deny that he enjoyed seeing Larry so upset.

"Me, an asshole? Come on sis, have you really lost your mind? I thought this was just a quick infatuation with him, but this is getting too old! Can't you see it? He's using you. He's using us to get what he wants," DeBon paused, locking his cold stare on Deeks. "And as I said, I don't trust him. This whole story doesn't make any sense. How did the Feds find out about the meeting? Someone must have tipped them and my money is on him. I know that you can't see it right now, but he's a damn cop, it's impossible that he changed so drastically. Something's rotten here and I bet it's your lover-boy here!"

The cop got up and moved to the coffee machine, pouring himself a cup and sipping it. The hot liquid went down his just refreshed throat, sending shivers down his spine. "Now tell me something, Larry. I am a cop and it's impossible I changed that much, but what about the man who's covering your asses with NCIS? He's a Fed and Feds are more straight and rigid than cops when it comes to get rouge. How can you trust him?" He saw this as an opportunity to press on the siblings, hoping that one of them might reveal who the mole was. He knew that the name was the key to solving this operation, the key to his return to his life… well, not exactly his old life since that one was completely ruined by now, but at least a normal one. A life in which he didn't need to lie to other people and mostly, to himself.

Larry laughed out loud, narrowing his eyes. "You are nothing like him. He proved us that he's trustworthy, you didn't! We have only had problems since you came on board!"

"Larry, that is not fair! Marty helped us to get the drug and he saved us back at the warehouse when the Feds showed up. Did you forget about that?"

Deeks didn't give DeBon's time to answer his sister's question, feeling that the time to find out that bloody name was finally coming. His instinct was telling him to go on with this game, to press on Larry, making him mad so he would lose his composure and give him what he needed the most. A frakking name! "Oh yes, your man was so trustworthy that he did give you my name." A smile curved his lips, seeing the anger in the other man's expression. "He must have a high clearance though, I have to give you this, because only a few people knew about the termination of my relationship with NCIS," Deeks' mind was suddenly clear as he processed his own words, so he started reflecting out loud. "Besides my boss who actually fired me, only my former coworkers knew and… the Assistant Director..." the thought forming in his mind shocked him. No, it was impossible…

A cunning grin brightened Larry's face. "You know, I think I underestimated you. You're not as stupid as I thought."

The cop felt his stomach knot, if Granger was indeed the mole, this whole operation was just a cover and he was just the sacrificial lamb. He licked his lips, bowing his head, hoping that no one noticed his blank expression.

It was right in that moment that Lara's phone beeped, saving him from giving Larry an answer to his statement. He was not sure he could give one that made sense.

Lara stood up, moving to the other room as she spoke on the phone, her face darkened and she sighed heavily. She closed the communication and typed something on her phone. A second later, her brother's phone buzzed.

As he read the text, a huge, pleased grin curled his lips. Larry beckoned to his men that immediately moved.

Deeks' instinct screamed that something was wrong, that he had to get out of this place, but it was too late and his legs were too weak to move quickly. He didn't have time to react. The two men approached him and grabbed him, tackling him to the ground. His head hit the floor with violence and for a moment there, stars danced in front of his eyes, but as he felt hands pinning him down, he tried to kick his assailants, to wriggle from their hold. It was all in vain. They were too strong and his head seemed ready to explode.

In the distance he could hear Larry's laugh as he ordered his men, "Put him on his feet!"

The cop was forcefully put on his feet with two pairs of strong hands holding him tightly. His arms were kept behind his back and he was barely able to move.

"It seems that I was right then." DeBon approached him, yanking his hair so their eyes could cross. Without any warning, he delivered a heavy punch on Deeks' stomach and then another on his side before hitting him on his face.

Blood poured from the cop's spit lip as he groaned in pain. His blue eyes looked for Lara's dark ones and he was not surprised to find her staring at him, coldly. Her expression couldn't hide the sense of betrayal, but mostly, the fury growing inside of her. Looking at her right now, was like looking at a completely different woman. She simply stood there, unmoving, observing her brother take care of the traitor.

"You wanted so badly to know who was our man inside, well, surprise… you're going to find out soon," Larry grabbed Deeks' hair once again and took out his phone, placing it in front of the detective's eyes. _Deeks is not what he claimed to be. He's working undercover to get you. Secure him. I'm five minutes away from you._ The text said.

"I'll be honored then," the cop muttered panting, before spitting blood on Larry's expensive shoes.

And he expected his defiance was rewarded with another series of well delivered blows. If it wasn't for the strong hands holding him, he would have sunk to the floor. A coughing fit hit him as air was sucked away from his lungs and even if he wanted to make one of his usual witty remarks, he couldn't find the strength to do it.

The door of the house opened right in that moment and a man, in his fifties, bald, with piercing green eyes hidden behind a pair of thick glasses stepped through it.

"Carroll… you filthy little bastard!" Deeks snapped, struggling to get rid of the men's hold and trying to reach Granger's assistant. He had to admit it, he never imagined him to be the mole. Carroll had played them all, Granger on top. This was the only thing that warmed him a little, the fact that the Assistant Director had a viper in his bosom without even realizing it.

Fred Carroll was surprised by his vehemence and had to step back, in fear, but when he saw that the blond cop was immobilized and unable to touch him, he smiled satisfied. "A rich bastard though, not a dirty little junkie as you are!"

Lara decided in that moment to approach the detective. Her eyes locked on him menacingly. She stood right in front of him. "I had warned you once, Marty. Betray me and you'd see my other side," her voice was calm and collected, so calm and collected that chilled everyone's bones. "You betrayed me, you used me! Maybe it's time to show you my other side, the other Lara."

Deeks flashed one of his trademark smiles, bloody teeth showed up, giving him an even more gruesome appearance. "I think I've seen all of your sides already…" he grinned.

Lara couldn't stop herself from chuckling, but her eyes remained cold. "Take him to the basement and secure him. I don't want him jumping up and down and disturbing me while I discuss my business." She moved closer to Deeks, caressing his face, moving her hand through his blond curls. She stopped just a second before pressing her lips on his, kissing him avidly. This time the cop didn't respond as he usually did, trying to retreat from her instead. The woman broke apart and tilted his head backward, with strength and increasing anger, even if she tried to maintain her composure and control her emotions. "You will regret crossing my path, Marty." A devilish smile appeared on her face "Don't worry, I will have my fun with you, but I'm sorry, this time it will be enjoyable only for me!"

Larry couldn't stop himself, took out his gun and, with a quick movement, he pistol whipped the cop, not once, but twice.

Pain exploded in Deeks' already pounding head and soon, all of his world fell into darkness.

* * *

This doesn't sound too good... :(


	17. Chapter 17

Once again, I can only thank you for the great support you're offering me with this story. I'm almost shocked :))

And as always a big thanks to Xwing12 for her help.

New chapter now.

* * *

Going Under - Chapter 17

"He's not here!" Eric exclaimed as he watched the rest of the team through the plasma screen.

"Agents are looking for him all around, but it seems that he left the office." Nell added, frantically working on her tablet.

"And Owen is not answering his phone!" Hetty's voice couldn't hide her concern and her worry. She was mad at herself. How could she screw things up like this? First, she didn't see Mr. Deeks' act for what it was and then, she served the detective's head to Carroll on a silver plate. A shiver ran down her spine. If something was going to happen to the cop, she would be responsible, no matter what she told Granger.

"Eric, have you tried tracking Deeks' phone?" Kensi was on edge. Since the moment she found out about the mole, about who he was, she had not been able to control herself or her emotions. Her partner was in danger and she didn't know what to do to help him. She hated feeling at loss, feeling useless, and this was exactly how she felt right now.

"Yes, but it's probably been disabled," murmured the tech. He was aware that this was not the answer his friends wanted to hear. He cast a close look at the team and he realized that in that moment everything that had recently happened had been forgotten, if not forgiven. Deeks was still a part of them and everyone wanted to find him before it was too late. "I made a search for Carroll's car, but he was smart enough not to use it. The camera outside the Mission caught him leaving on foot, but, after that, we… we lost him."

"So we don't know where he is right now!" Frustration could be easily heard in Sam's voice. The ex-Seal was still trying to process what happened with Deeks. He had been fooled completely by the cop's act. Darn, in spite of his appearance, the blond detective was good. Sam passed a hand over his face, remembering what Deeks yelled at him that day at the boatshed. Did he really mean it? He was playing a part and all, but there was something in the way he said those words that didn't sound like an act. Did he really treat the cop so poorly? Making him feel like an outsider? There was only a way to find out and clear things between them and it was to find Deeks. "What about his phone?"

"Carroll never used his personal phone to make the calls to the DeBon's siblings and, anyway, it's inactive at the moment," Nell intervened, sensing the tension growing among her friends. It had been a great surprise to find out about the whole undercover operation Deeks was involved in and she couldn't deny that she had been relieved when Kensi had explained everything. But now, she couldn't help being worried. "We are looking at his credit card movements to see if he made a mistake and maybe buy a burn phone with it. But so far we have nothing," her voice was unable to hide her disappointment.

"Keep looking, Miss Jones. You, too, Mr. Beale." Hetty talked, but she looked tired. This was something that never happened and that no one was used to seeing. "And please try to call Assistant Director Granger until he won't pick up your calls!"

"What about, Bates? Maybe he knows something," Callen intervened. He knew he had to be the one person who kept the team together in this situation, but it was hard. This was nothing like they ever faced. It was not only about a National Security problem, not only a NCIS related problem, not only a Navy issue. It was personal, to a very deep level. They never understood, until recently, how much they took Deeks for granted. They had been so used to having him around, most of the times making a fool of him for his stupid jokes or idiotic remarks, but they never realized how much they helped to get through their days, even during the toughest ones. They never gave him enough credit for that and right now, in this tense moment, the team leader would have died to hear him crack a joke. The cop without them even noticing it, had found his way through all of them and Callen really missed him.

"Bates is not picking up either," Kensi stated, sitting in a chair, leaning her elbows on the table.

"Kens, we will find him," the team leader told her. He could only imagine how hard this was for his friend, but they needed to be focused if they wanted results. His eyes moved from one of his teammates to another and stopped on the Operations Manager. Hetty had never had such a dark expression and it seemed that she was barely holding herself together. Callen was almost shocked by her appearance. "Everything ok, Hetty?" he asked.

The diminutive woman stood still for a while. Her mind was still trying to process the events that had brought them here, in this position. After an awkward long silence, she finally spoke, "No, I'm not ok, Mr. Callen. One of my men is in danger because I was not able to do my job and my stupidity put him in that position." She leaned against the table, putting her hands on it to support herself. She was visibly shaken.

"No, it's not your fault, Hetty," Kensi's voice was feeble, nothing more than a whisper. She buried her face in her hands, before running them through her long hair. "I promised Deeks that I would not tell anyone about the operation. He knew it was risky, that his cover could easily be compromised if the mole was as close to us as he suspected… hell, it was even closer than we could have imagined!" Desperation could easily read in her words. "I shouldn't have told you. I shouldn't have told anyone. I should have kept my promise, but… I was not able to stand you talking so badly about him, knowing how much this operation was costing him. How much he sacrificed because of this bloody mission." A deep sadness filled her words, mixed with the anger she directed at herself. She allowed her emotions to win over her rationality and maybe, her partner was going to pay the highest price.

"Oh enough with this guilty game!" snapped Sam, slamming his hand on the table. "All of us misjudged the situation. We all made mistakes, but this is not the point and frankly, it doesn't really matter. Now we have to focus on finding Deeks first and then to bring Carroll and the DeBons to justice!"

"Sam is right," Callen stated. It was obvious that they were worried, but if they wanted to help their friend, they had to concentrate on the job and on the evidence they had. It was not easy, but it was all they could do. "I know that it might be very hard, but we have a job to do and we have to do it in the best way possible."

Silence fell in the room. Kensi bit her lips nervously, but nodded fiercely. She knew her friends were more than right. She needed to put her feelings aside. "Ok, then, let's bring him back!" she stated firmly, with a determined expression planted on her face.

Hetty took a deep breath. This was the reason why she had put these people together, because they were simply the best and they complemented one another. They worked like a well oiled mechanism that was missing an important part now, but she was sure that when her team had something in mind, no one would be able to stop them. She was opening her mouth to tell them something, when her phone rang. Without hesitation, she picked up the call, "Owen! We've been looking for you for hours." There was a pause, probably due to Granger talking on the other side, then she continued, clearly upset. "I don't give a damn about your business! We have just found out that your personal assistant is the mole in this office and now Mr. Deeks' life is at stake, so move your skinny ass over here. We need to talk. Now!" her tone didn't leave space for any reply.

The three NCIS agents couldn't stop themselves from chuckling, hearing her talking like that to Granger. A calm and collected Hetty was already scary, a furious Hetty was someone none of them wanted to cross paths with.

"I don't envy Granger when he shows up here," Callen said, slightly amused.

"This is something I wouldn't miss for anything in the whole world," echoed Sam.

"I'm afraid you are going to miss it, Mr. Hanna, because you and Mr. Callen are headed to Ops where you will help Miss Jones and Mr. Beale in their job," the Operations Manager told them. They both knew it was better not to argue with her.

"What about me, Hetty?" Kensi wondered, frowning slightly puzzled.

"I think you deserve to stay here with me, helping me to kick Owen's ass," smirked the diminutive woman, finally, more herself.

A cunning grin curled Kensi's lips, brightening her expression. "It will be my pleasure!"

"Oh damn it! Why can't we have a nice show once in a while?" The ex-Seal shook his head. That meeting was something he'd really like to attend, but on the other hand, he understood the importance of continuing the investigation, especially since Deeks' life was at stake. "Come on, G, we better go."

Callen turned towards the two women, nodding gravely. "Just try to save some of his pieces, ok? I don't want you to get in trouble because you skinned him alive!" Winking, he moved towards the door and stepped out of the boatshed, followed by his partner.

When they were out of sight, Hetty sat in front of Kensi, resting her hand over her agent's. "We will get him back, Kensi, no matter how many mountains we are going to move. We will bring him back to us."

The younger woman closed her eyes, sighing heavily, "I only wish it's not already too late."

* * *

"Come on, son of a bitch, wake up!"

A hard slap straight on his face awoke Deeks with a start. His head seemed ready to explode as it was pounding heavily, beating like a drum session. The cop blinked repeatedly, assessing where he was, but the feeble light brightening the room and his dizziness were making it very difficult. He tried to move, to change position to make himself more comfortable, but he found it impossible. He was sitting on a dusty wooden floor, his arms were stretched behind his back and his wrists were tightly zip-tied around a post. As he attempted to get rid of the bindings, the plastic material cut through his skin and soon blood poured down his fingers.

_Perfect, absolutely great_, he thought, lifting his head to look at the face of the man standing in front of him. Pain erupted behind his eyes and for a moment he feared he was going to be sick. His vision blurred, so he bowed his head hoping to fight the stabbing agony.

A kick in his shin brought him back to reality. "I said wake up!" Larry's voice echoed in his ears, too loud for his taste.

"I heard you the first time," Deeks slurred. He didn't want to show his disorientation and confusion, not to mention his actual weakness. "There's no need to squawk like a wild goose!"

DeBon backhanded him with violence, reopening the cut on his temple that started to bleed profusely. "Shut up, you bloody junkie! No one told you to talk!" Larry told him, clearly losing his temper.

A coughing fit caught the cop who doubled over with pain as his cracked ribs protested. He tried to curl up to fight the flash of pain, but his current position prevented him from doing it. When finally the agony subsided, he leaned his head against the post, closing his eyes. "I always said that you don't have any sense of humor." The price for his new comment was another heavy blow to his face that split his lip. Deeks smiled cunningly, spitting some blood onto the ground. "And you definitely suck at communication."

As an answer, DeBon grabbed the cop by his shirt and took out his gun, placing it on his forehead. "How do you like this kind of communication?" his fingers danced nervously on the trigger, his teeth ground, clear sign of his tension.

"Enough!" another voice resounded loud and clear in the small and barely lit basement.

Deeks felt a shiver run down his spine, as the familiar clacking of Lara's high heels approached him.

"Larry, let him go," she said. Her dark eyes were locked on her prisoner, cold as stone, her jaw clenched tightly.

"But… no! Let me kill him! This bastard deserves it!" her brother protested vehemently, pressing the barrel of his gun even harder on the detective's forehead.

"Larry, I said let him go!" Her voice was sharp like a razor and didn't leave any chance for a reply.

Reluctantly, her brother let the cop go and stepped back. His expression was far from happy. "I still think that we should just kill him and end it now."

"And I still think that you should leave and let me take care of this… inconvenience." She gave Larry a devilish grin that reassured her brother a little.

The man nodded, casting one last glance to their captive. "Enjoy your stay, you little piece of shit!" his eyes glittered triumphantly. He knew his sister and he knew very well how cruel she could be, especially when someone betrayed her. "I just hope you'll suffer before meeting your maker."

"I'll be sure to keep a place ready for when you'll join me there," smirked Deeks, teasing the other man. He was aware that it was just a pyrrhic victory. What Lara had planned for him was far from nice, but he couldn't stop himself from mocking Larry. It was simply priceless.

"Son of a bitch!" DeBon launched himself towards the cop, but his sister put herself between the two men.

"Stop! Can't you see that he's just provoking you?" she yelled, placing her hand on his brother's chest. "Get out of here and let me handle this."

It was more than clear that Larry would have liked to go anywhere but outside. The cop simply unnerved him, driving him mad. More than once he had been humiliated by the blond detective and even his sister hadn't listened to him when he was voicing his doubts about him and about trusting him. Now that he could have his revenge, Lara was pushing him away. "It's not fair, sis. I have all the rights to have some fun with him before killing him!"

She became even more serious, her eyes narrowed and seemed ready to incinerate everything that was standing in front of her, people and objects. "Larry, don't let me repeat it again. Get. Out. Of. Here!"

DeBon recognized her determined and furious expression even if she was calm and collected outside. He was aware that it was better not to cross her when she was in this state. It didn't matter if he was her brother when she was that mad and angry. She didn't really care about family bonding.

"Ok," he chuckled. His gaze moved once again towards the cop, who was barely able to keep his head up. "Good luck, filthy bastard. You messed up with the wrong people!" and with that he turned on his heels and walked out of the basement.

As her brother left the room, Lara moved towards Deeks, standing right in front of him, studying him intently with her dark eyes. Rage transpired from her every move, her posture and from the way she carried herself. But the calmness she showed was unnerving. And scary.

"Excuse me if I don't look at you in the eyes, but my head is a little bit too heavy right now, thanks to your dear brother," the cop muttered, smiling, once again using his humor, but he couldn't continue talking.

The woman grabbed his chin, tightly, her long nails pierced his skin, making him cringe and hold his breath. Her expression even more serious and graver than ever. "You disappointed me, Marty and mostly, you made a fool of me by using me. You know you're going to pay because of this. No one ever treated me like you did and came out unscathed."

"I never… used you…" talking was hard, but he needed to let her know that he was not intimidated by her. "I simply… did what… I had to…"

She increased the pressure, sensing him tensing under her grip. "I was ready to throw everything away for you, Marty. After this last job, I was ready to retire with you!" With a quick movement, she slammed his head against the post. "I am bitterly disappointed with you!"

Bright stars flashed in front of his eyes as his already pounding head exploded in agony. He didn't have time even to react because Lara grabbed his hair, tilting his head on one side. Her fingers dug into his scalp.

"I have no mercy for the ones who betray me." Her lips moved towards his face as she whispered in his ear, "I was thinking about the perfect way to kill you, Marty. A bullet between the eyes or at the back of your head, I don't know, maybe sinking a knife in your heart, but these deaths are too quick. It will be an act of mercy and you don't deserve it. I… I trusted you…"

Deeks sensed a little hint of hesitation, of sadness in her words, something he didn't expect, but that gave him an idea of how hurt Lara was and how vengeful she might be feeling now. "I never asked you to trust me. You did it yourself," he grinned, between ground teeth.

The gorgeous woman sat on the cop's lap, kissing his neck avidly, with violence, with dominance. She bit his skin, deeply tasting his blood in her mouth, satisfied when he hissed in pain. "I know your weakness Marty," she told him. Her probing hands continued touching him even if he tried to get away from her hold, from her fingers that sent chills along his spine "And I will enjoy seeing you suffer. Your agony will be my drug that will fill my veins with pleasure! It will be my vital lymph." Her devilish laugh resounded in the small basement, deafening him.

Lara's words went deeply into his mind as he realized what she had in mind. Instinctively, his body reacted, shaking violently. He struggled to get rid of her, of his bindings, but she was in a better position and his whole system was slowly deteriorating. His eyes widened as a hint of panic hit him with realization of what was waiting for him.

"I see that you realized what I have in mind for you, Marty. I want to see your body writhe with pain, I want to see you beg me to give you a fix while your mind goes to the darkest places. I will push you deeper and deeper and when you'll be on the edge of a precipice, I will give you the final kick." Her lips curled into a pleased grin. "Your agony will last days and believe me when I say, I know how to prolong your suffering, because this is all I want. You will regret the moment you decided to cross my path." She paused locking her eyes on his blue orbs. "Your life is in my hands and I am going to destroy it piece by piece." Lara expected him to protest, to yell at her, to tremble in fear. She didn't expect him to laugh in her face.

"I'm sorry, dear… I don't have a life anymore. It ended the day I stepped into this damn op. There's nothing left for you to take away." His voice was barely a whisper and filled with deep sorrow.

It was too much for her. She got up and kicked him violently first in his stomach and then on his face, sending him to oblivion. Her rage was at a level that it had never reached. This man had angered her as anyone had ever done or had even dared to do. Out of frustration, she let out a long desperate growl. "I hate you Marty Deeks!" before rushing out of the room and slamming the door behind her.

* * *

Now I have an important question. Is there anyone out there who would be interested in helping me editing the last chapters of this story and my future stories? Sadly my amazing Beta Xwing12 is having some personal issues that won't allow her to help me in the future.

If you feel up to the task, just PM me. :)


	18. Chapter 18

It's time for a new chapter, but first I have to warn you because there might be some heavy and graphic scenes in this one.

As always I would like to thank everyone who is still with me, reading this story and big thanks to everyone who offered me help in the editing department. I truly appreciate it!

But for now, I still owe Xwing12 for her hard job!

I better shut up now. Time for the new chapter.

* * *

Going Under - Chapter 18

Kensi was the last one to enter one of the interrogation rooms at the boatshed. Hetty was already in there, observing the two men sitting at the table. In spite of Assistant Director Granger's protest, he and Lt. Bates had been allowed to sit in the '_wrong_' side of the table.

The female agent smiled at the irony, since she had been in the same position previously, because of Granger himself, when he was updating her about her father. She shivered at the memory. It was never a good sign when she and the Assistant Director found themselves together in this room. Bad news were always on sight. Bad news about men she cared so much.

Taking a long deep breath, Kensi took a seat in front of Bates and waited for Hetty to start the conversation but as usual, Granger couldn't give the diminutive woman this privilege, this advantage, and so he asked, "Ok, what's going on here? You said that Carroll, Fred Carroll, a very trustworthy man, is the mole, are you serious?"

"Oh shut up, Owen, and watch!" The Operations Manager beckoned to her agent to show the two men a video uploaded on her phone.

Images of Petty Officer Mason's confession came out as his unsteady voice talked about the whole operation first and about Carroll's involvement then. Granger's face paled, losing his color hearing all the detailed information. As soon as the video ended, without saying anything, he picked up his phone and dialed a familiar number. "Answer. Come on, pick it up!" he muttered angrily, between ground teeth.

"The phone has been disabled, Owen, and Carroll is nowhere to be found!" Hetty told him, sitting in the chair in front of her former teammate. "I reckon he went to talk to his associates as soon he found out about Mr. Deeks." Her voice tried to hide her concern for the detective's fate, but it was hard, even for her.

"Do you have any word on Deeks?" Bates intervened. He didn't have to voice his worry, because it was written all over his face. No matter how many arguments he had with the blond detective, no matter that he had been working for NCIS more than he worked for him in the last years, Deeks was one of his men, his responsibility. And in the end, Bates liked Deeks, so the idea that he was in danger unsettled him.

"No," stated Kensi, bowing her head in apprehension. Her hands played nervously on the table where her elbows were resting. She was trying to contain her anger and having in front of her the two men responsible for this whole mess was testing her patience.

"I am sorry to disappoint you all, but our priority now is to find Carroll, Larry and Lara DeBon before they can escape and leave the country! Keeping me here is not helping the task." Granger attempted to stand, but Hetty preceded him, slamming her hands on the table.

"Sit down! Don't you try to leave this room, Owen, or I will remind you of how dangerous I am," the Operations Manager told him, a cold smirk planted on her face. "Or better, I will have Miss Blye spend some private time with you." She cast a glance to Kensi, who smiled, grateful.

"Oh stop bossing me around, Henrietta. You know better than me what we have to do and what our priorities are!" The Assistant Director gave her a frown, feeling a bit cornered, so he decided to play his cards in this game. "You are only mad because you screwed up. If you didn't storm into my Office, accusing me of putting your boy in danger, none of this would ever happen. His cover would be still intact and we would have some result soon… maybe."

"Don't you dare turn the facts upside down and use them to your taste! You brought all of this on us, Owen! If you had the decency to tell me about this whole fiasco you called an operation, well, maybe we wouldn't be at this point, with your assistant who provided vital information to a criminal organization, who was involved with covering tracks of a drug international traffic and who is probably responsible for one of my men's abduction! And I stop here before I can say something that I might regret." It was clear that the diminutive woman was furious, but she was trying with all of her strength not to show it. This was not the right moment to lose her control, the stakes were too high.

"I did what I had to do, Henrietta, and you know it very well. How many times did you do the exact same thing? Keeping everyone in the dark and using your men like little pawns?" Granger leaned against the back of his chair, giving her a smirk, appearing cocky and confident as usual.

"This is the problem here. Mr. Deeks is not one of your men! You should have come to me!" the Operations Manager insisted.

"And you would have agreed, obviously…"

"Of course not!"

"My point exactly!" winked the Assistant Director.

"Not what…" Hetty was going to reply, when a clearly irritated voice silenced the two of them.

"Enough!" Kensi shouted, her expression hard as stone. "Enough, you two! There's no sense in arguing among us when my partner is out there and is waiting for us to save him! I don't care about your issues and this is not the right place to solve them. Deeks is in danger and God knows where those siblings took him!"

"Assuming he is still alive," Bates' tone was serious. He felt immediately the NCIS agent's eyes on him, not that it was a surprise for him. He had realized long time ago that she and Deeks shared a tight bond. "I'm just being honest and realistic here, my dear lady. I know what those two are capable of, you saw that yourself, what they did to Randall. Sadly, I wouldn't be surprised if we received a call from my men telling me that they found him… somewhere."

Kensi didn't miss the sadness that transpired from the Lieutenant's words, clear sign that maybe he cared for her partner more than he wanted to let on. She narrowed her eyes, shaking her head, "Why, Bates?"

The cop was a bit startled by her question, "Why, what?"

"Why did you allow him to send Deeks under? You knew this mission was suicide, you knew what it was doing to him."

Bates studied the female agent intently as memories of that night when he had to literally drag Deeks home after his 'initiation' with Lara DeBon came back to him. The detective was totally wasted, but he didn't have the slightest intention of giving up. This was something that the lieutenant admired in his younger operative. Dedication, loyalty, passion - all of these qualities made Deeks the man he was. They made him a good man.

"You, better than anyone else, should know why. Because Deeks can be an idiot sometimes. He can't stand authority very well, maybe, especially mine, but he's a damn good cop, dedicated to his job, to the final goal of every mission. He knew the risks. He knew what he was going to face, but on the other hand, he knew that it was for a good cause, to save people."

"But there were other ways to do the same job!" Kensi almost shouted, letting go her frustration. "Hell, you two sent him under without even an alias… as himself! With no back up! Don't you get it, that he was too exposed?"

Before Bates could reply to her accusation, Granger intervened gruffly. "Agent Blye, Detective Deeks accepted to do the job, accepted the risks, so part of the responsibility is his."

"Are you saying that it's Deeks' fault? This is unacceptable! It's madness." She got up abruptly, slamming her fist on the table and sending her chair to the floor with a loud thud.

"Miss Blye, please…" Hetty attempted to calm her down, but she realized it was a hard job.

"Miss Lange, your agent is right. Deeks did just what he had to do. He accepted to do it, but it took a little pressure on Granger's part to give him extra motivation. Why don't you tell them about, Owen?" The lieutenant used a very sarcastic tone, putting a particular accent on Granger's first name. "Tell them how you cornered the kid, even when he was not feeling too sure of the outcome of the operation, of the whole logistics."

Kensi was surprised to hear Bates referring to Deeks as the kid, in a very affectionate way, something she never expected from the hard man in front of her.

"Owen?" The Operations Manager looked at the other man with a cold stance. Her narrowed eyes seemed ready to incinerate him.

"I did it only because I knew it was the right thing to do!" Granger stated calmly, turning his face away from her inquisitive look.

"What did you do, Owen? What did you tell Mr. Deeks to force him to cooperate?" Hetty insisted, stepping closer.

"You're not scaring me, Henrietta. I'm not a green agent, I know how to take you and your subtle ways."

"Tell me what you did, Owen!" Her voice was even steadier and firmer now, her expression grave as ever.

"Tell them," Bates smirked a little happy to see the other man a bit uneasy. "Tell them that you told Deeks that he would be sent back to LAPD permanently without any opportunity to become a full agent if he didn't get this job done."

Silence fell in the room. Hetty couldn't contain her anger, while Kensi was more shocked than mad. First, because of Granger's blackmailing and second, because of the opportunity that Deeks might become a full NCIS agent.

"How dare you, Owen! Not only you forced one of my men to jump into a difficult mission, but you did it with a trick. Hell, you put him under, messing up with his mind! Don't you know that when you have to do operations like this one, you have to be 100% concentrated on it? You sent him into the lion's den with too many issues on his mind. You're an idiot!" The Operations Manager this time didn't even try to contain her fury and unleashed it on the Assistant Director. "Pray that nothing will happen to Mr. Deeks, because you will never see the end of this!" She walked towards the door, ready to storm out.

"Going anywhere, Henrietta? Afraid of your guilty feelings? Because you know that you screwed up big time, as much as I did. I didn't blow your man's cover. You did!" He got up, too, and joined her at the doorstep. "Now if you excuse me, I have some phone calls to make!"

Hetty studied him, she was finding it impossible to understand why he was behaving like this, like an asshole. Owen had never been the easiest person to get along with, but deep down he always tried to do his job, in the best way possible. Did he do it this time? Some doubts assaulted the diminutive woman's thoughts. Was he really at fault? Or was she always too protective towards the blond detective? She remained impassible, not wanting to show her internal conflict to the man standing just a few inches away from her. "Be my guest Owen, I have phone calls to make myself too." And with that, she exited the interrogation room, soon followed by Granger.

Bates and Kensi were left alone. It was the cop who broke the silence. "How was he doing?" he asked, truly concerned. "I… I'm not stupid and I have the feeling that you met him more recently than I did. Last time I saw him, I had to take him home because he was barely able to stand after Lara DeBon had given him a shot as a sort of initiation to see if he was what he claimed to be, if he was really an addict."

The agent's heart skipped a beat, just imagining what her partner went through. Deeks was independent and hated to be in need of help, especially from someone like Bates. Hell, he usually refused any help, even from her. She wanted to say something, but words died in her throat.

"Look, I got that you are mad, that you're angry and mostly that you're worried, but I'm not your enemy here. I am worried myself. Deeks might not be someone who I would go out to dinner with, but I respect him, as a cop and as a man," insisted Bates. His voice was honest and spoke the truth.

Kensi took a long breath, before voicing her concern. "He was not doing well. He showed up at my house after Larry DeBon beat him and stabbed him. It was nothing life threatening, but… that was not the worst of my worry. He was… he was in deep shit, if you pass me the expression." She hesitated, afraid of letting her emotions overwhelm her. "He was completely wasted. Deeks told me that Lara was giving him daily shots and man, he was not playing a part anymore. After few hours spent at my apartment, I was able to see the first signs of withdrawal coming in. We need to find him and help him." Her last words sounded a bit too desperate, even for her.

"Look, I don't want you to have false hopes and expectations. You know that at this point, with his cover completely blown, he might be…"

Bates couldn't finish his sentence, because she stopped him. "He's alive. I… I know he is. Don't ask me why, but I can feel it."

The cop gave her a kind smile. "Yes, of course. If someone can feel it, it's you."

Kensi stiffened, startled by Bates' words that came totally unexpected to her. "What… what do you mean?" she muttered.

"Oh come on, Agent Blye. As I said, I'm not stupid. I saw the way you talked about him. Not to mention how he talked about you." The cop got up and straightened himself up. It was clear that a heavy burden was weighing on his shoulders. "Just be there for him when you find him. He will need some help and mostly, he will need a good friend." Without adding any other words, he walked out of the room.

Kensi sighed heavily, sensing hundreds of emotions coursing through her body. Was it so obvious? Was it so obvious what was going on between her and Deeks? She passed her hand through her hair. There will be time later to think about this. Now they had to concentrate on one simple thing - To find Deeks and to find him alive. Determined as ever, she stepped through the door and left the empty interrogation room behind her.

* * *

Another intense shiver shook his whole body to the bone. His stomach contorted as the gnawing sensation ate him from the inside.

Deeks didn't know how long he had been tied to this post, in this filthy basement, but he knew very well the meaning of the words 'excruciating agony'. The pain was, not so slowly, getting unbearable and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

A wave of nausea caught him and he turned his face just in time to throw up on the floor. This time he had been lucky, other times, not so much. His clothes were sticking to his skin because of the sweat and had vomit all over them. The shame didn't stop here though, because his bowel relieved itself more than once and, sadly, he didn't have any control on it.

The stench emanating from his persona was simply too intense, but he didn't have time to care because he was hurting too much.

The cop was trying to take a long breath when his abdomen clenched tightly and a knot constricted it in a strong vice. He brought his legs to his chest, as much as his bindings allowed him, to fight the stabbing pain, but it didn't seem to work. He felt so miserable that he only wanted to curl into a ball and disappear from the face of Earth.

"You're so pathetic, Marty." Lara's voice reached his ears. She was sitting in front of him, enjoying his pain, his suffering.

Deeks was aware that she hadn't missed a single bit of his agony. Every moment he had been conscious enough, the cop had seen her there, in her chair, looking at him with a cunning grin planted on her lips. Sadly for him, she had been true to her words, to make him pay and to prolong his suffering. His body craved for a fix so desperately that it was driving him crazy. Lara had been sadistic enough to give him once in a while just a small dose. It didn't satisfy his need but simply increased his desire for a bigger one. His whole system was pushed to its limit. She knew it and she enjoyed it immensely. It was her plan and it was working perfectly.

"I know what you want Marty," she told him, holding a syringe in her hand, waving it in front of him. "I know that you'd do anything for it." She got up and walked closer, her devilish smile fiercely planted on her lipsticked lips. "Beg me, Marty. I want to hear you beg. I want to hear you ask for it." She caressed his face with her long fingers.

Her simple touch on his inflamed skin sent him over the edge. An electrical discharge coursed through his body that shivered violently. Deeks struggled with his binding, feeling the plastic material of the zip-ties tear the skin of his wrists apart, but he couldn't do anything to fight the gnawing sensation that was consuming him, contorting his stomach and turning it upside down, making him sick. He wanted that dose so badly. He would do anything to get it, to end all of this pain, but there was still a part of his subconscious that stopped him from asking for it. His pride didn't allow him to beg her, but this internal battle was slowly killing him. He knew he was losing his control over his body and over his mind that was clouded by the need.

Lara leaned towards him, passing her hand through his sweaty hair while her tongue licked the blood pouring from the gash on his temple. "Don't be stubborn, Marty. You have only to say a word, just one little word." Her smile grew wider seeing him struggle.

It was too much. The cop's body reacted abruptly to her words. A wave of nausea clenched his stomach and bile rose up through his throat; unable to stop he retched fiercely aggravating his cracked ribs. Pain erupted from every cell, every muscle, every nerve. Every fiber of his organism was so tense that he felt like he was going to be ripped apart. In his whole life, Deeks never felt a pain like this and there was nothing more that he wanted than to make it stop.

The woman sensed his growing desperation and used it to increase his discomfort. She was aware that he was at the end of his rope, so she pushed him even further.

"Just a word, Marty," she whispered in his ear. Sensually, teasingly. Her long manicured fingers danced on his chest, feeling his labored breath, the rapid up and down that went with it. "I know you want this…"

The capped needle of the syringe ran along his arm and the detective's body reacted instinctively, wriggling, shaking, trembling. "Please…" he mumbled while tears rolled down his cheeks as a sense of defeat pervaded him.

A fat laugh erupted in the small room as Lara tilted her head backward, satisfied because she reached her goal. "I knew you would beg me, Marty. I knew that your body would betray you. The need is too much, the craving feeling is eating you from the inside. The gnawing sensation is driving you insane. I know what it feels like. I have seen it in so many people, so many men that would sell their own mothers to get a fix. It's so entertaining to watch you now, you're so pathetic, so miserable. You became a crappy excuse of a man, because of what? To catch me? To send me to jail? Was it worth it, Marty? Was I worthy?" Her voice was steady and firm and didn't give away any emotion. With a slow movement, she uncapped the needle and slowly plunged it into the base of his neck, allowing the vicious liquid to flow through his vein, poisoning his blood once again.

The familiar warm sensation filled his senses, cottoning his mind, but, sadly, Deeks realized that it was not enough. Lara was playing with him again. The calming effect of the dose wouldn't last more than one hour and after that, his need would simply be magnified. It was her way to prolong his agony, as she promised. She was driving him mad first, sending him on the edge of craziness, then, she would give him something that simply made him want more.

His breathing eased a little as the drug spread through his system, making him relax. "You're a bitch," he muttered, closing his tired eyes.

"Oh but you liked this bitch." She touched and probed him with her knowing fingers, while her lips placed kisses here and there.

The cop turned his face away, trying to escape her needy mouth, but she grabbed painfully his hair, tilting his head on one side. "You're mine, Marty. And I am going to do everything I want with you!" She released her hold and before Deeks even realized it, Lara backhanded him with great strength, rending him unconscious.

One hour or so later, he woke up abruptly, by another intense trembling that chilled his whole body. His teeth clattered so hard that he feared they were going to break. The withdrawal was back in full force, along with all of his symptoms, the shivering, the nausea, the gnawing feeling at the pit of his stomach, the sickness, the pounding headache. He cracked an eye open, finding her still sitting in her chair, looking at him with a pleased expression planted on her face. A cunning grin brightened her whole features.

"Welcome back, Marty," she greeted her captive in a gingerly tone. "About time you decided to come back to the land of living."

Deeks wanted to answer, but he didn't manage to say a single word. He was in agony, all the sensations he had felt until this moment were amplified. The pain seemed to grow and become more intense, minute after minute. Controlling the trembling of his body and all of its functions was impossible.

"What? No witty remark? Where's the Marty Deeks I remember?" She approached him, almost shocked herself by his appearance.

The cop was in fact, sweating profusely and shaking so badly that even the post he had been tied to seemed to tremble. He was pale and there were dark circles under his unfocused eyes. His whole body was writhing with pain and he was struggling like he wanted to find a more comfortable position that sadly for him, did not exist. A harsh coughing fit caught him, shook him. He didn't even have time to turn his head this time. He retched dry heaves; saliva and bile ended on his already smelly clothes. He was getting worse, the pain simply unbearable. Man, he wanted, so bad, a dose, a fix. He was desperate, so desperate that he didn't care at all showing it to Lara who simply enjoyed seeing him so broken and in such a pitiful state.

"What's up, Marty? Are you feeling… unwell?" She mocked him.

Deeks ground his teeth, fighting the new flash of agony coursing through his already wrecked body. "Shut up, you fucking bitch!" he yelled angrily, using all of his energy. "Just shut up and give me a fix!"

She laughed again, irritating her captive even more. "Oh this is heaven!"

The cop struggled, but this made things only worse for him as a new wave of nausea shook him violently.

Lara passed her fingers through his hair "Marty, Marty, Marty, you really don't know how much you're entertaining me."

It was right in that moment that the door of the basement slammed open and Larry stepped inside. "Holy crap, sis! How can you stay in this bloody place with this damn stench?" His hand covered his nose and mouth, as he turned his face away, not without smirking satisfied. "I see that the filthy little bastard is having what he deserves."

"What do you want, Larry? I specifically asked you not to disturb me until I have finished with this little piece of junk!" Lara stood up, giving a kick to Deeks' trembling form.

"Yes you told me, but the old Mason called Carroll. He wanted to meet us. He said that we have a big problem!" DeBon spit on the cop's figure, with disgust "I think it's time you take care of him… for good!"

She smiled, moving to the table where she had laid the stash of drugs she was using on her prisoner. With a calculated slowness, she prepared a syringe and then approached him. "I am a bit disappointed because we have to stop our game here, Marty. Don't worry though, I am sure to give you something special before letting you go. Something that will remind you of me until your last breath. Say goodbye to the world, Marty."

The needle pierced his skin and even if Deeks was expecting it, he wasn't truly prepared for what came next. He understood immediately that this was not a little bit of heroin, this was much more… far too much. The warm sensation that usually engulfed him when the liquid pumped in his system was now a burning feeling. He was on fire and couldn't move. "I… I will… wait for you… in… hell…" Breathing was getting harder, his throat dry and his trembling increased turning into a muscle spasm.

Lara watched him struggle for a few moments until his eyes slowly closed and he fell into oblivion. She patted him on his cheek, grinning.

"Bye Bye Marty." Standing up, she looked for her brother's eyes, nodding. "Get rid of this piece of trash, then join me at the meeting! And remember, I don't want any problems!" She walked out of the room, her head up, fierce. No one played tricks with her. No one fooled her, not even the best toy she had ever had in ages. Without regret or any hint of mercy, she stepped through the door and disappeared.

* * *

I don't know about you, but I truly hope someone will take care of Lara sooner or later. She's pure evil.


	19. Chapter 19

Once again, I am overwhelmed by your response to this story. I really appreciate your support!

New chapter now and, as always, I have to thank Xwing12 for her hard work.

* * *

Going Under - Chapter 19

Kensi arrived at the bullpen and surprisingly, considering the time of the morning, she found it empty. She scanned the entire office hoping to see her teammates, but her eyes couldn't scout them anywhere. Both Sam's and Callen's laptops were not on their desks and neither were their bags. Maybe they had a lead, but why didn't they call her?

She hadn't been sleeping very well during the past three days, eaten by the worry and guilt towards Deeks and his fate. Her tiredness and weariness were starting to take a toll on her, so maybe the team decided to leave her alone for a while or… no, she couldn't even think to the other option that crossed her mind. Deeks… darn! He was always in her head, in her thoughts… she couldn't help herself.

Her mind was so lost and busy beating herself up, that she didn't hear Hetty approach.

"Good morning, Miss Blye," the diminutive woman greeted her with a kind smile. "I assume from your evident tired face that you didn't have a good night of sleep. Again, I might add."

"Hetty, hey… Good morning," Kensi sighed, knowing that she couldn't hide anything from her all-knowing boss. "Indeed, but did you?"

The Operations Manager grinned, amused. "Touché." Her expression turned serious as she took a seat at Deeks' desk, slightly touching the wooden furniture. "I have to admit that sleeping is the last of my worries at the moment." Her voice had an unexpected trembling, a crack that didn't show very often. "I am sorry, Kensi. I made a big mistake this time."

Kensi was almost shocked by Hetty's honesty and open words, another thing that the older woman usually didn't allow herself to do in front of her agents. It was the first time she saw the signs of defeat on her boss' face.

"You and I both, but… if I didn't screw up, you would have never made that mistake. I started all of this and if Deeks is…" She couldn't finish because her throat knotted.

"What does your heart tell you, Miss Blye?" The Operations Manager asked, without any secret meaning, without malice. It was just a genuine question.

The younger agent hesitated, biting the inside of her lip, closing her eyes to fight the turmoil inside. "I… he's alive, but I fear that the more time goes by, the harder it is for him to stay like that. I read what those two are capable of… I saw what Larry DeBon did to him just because he didn't like seeing Deeks around his sister. I… I don't want to think about what they can do to him if they find out that he was playing them." It was weird, but Kensi felt a little lighter after the words left her mouth. Maybe voicing her worry put things into a different perspective or maybe she simply clung on to her hope, even more desperately.

Hetty looked at her, nodding. "You and me both, Miss Blye," she stated, taking a long breath.

"Where are Sam and Callen?" the agent wondered, silently praying that her worst fears hadn't come true.

"They took Commander Sherman to the boatshed for interrogation, but I think they might be on their way back. For what Mr. Callen told me just few minutes ago, they didn't get anything useful out of him. Nothing that could lead us to find Mr. Deeks."

Kensi didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed. At least her teammates hadn't been called to follow a lead that took them to Deeks' dead body, but the fact that they didn't know anything new that could allow them to find her partner drove her mad. Right when she was going to reply to her boss, the heavy door to the Mission opened and Sam and Called stepped through it, joining the two women in the bullpen.

"Mr. Callen, Mr. Hanna, we were just talking about you," Hetty said, jumping on her feet so her agents didn't see where she was sitting.

"I hope you've been nice, Hetty," Callen smirked as his blue eyes landed on Kensi's still form. "Morning Kens, you good?"

"Morning… and I'm fine." She passed a hand through her hair, sitting at her desk. "And stop treating me like I'm going to pieces!" Her voice was harsher than she wanted, but this situation was irritating her. She didn't like them to see her as weak and pathetic. She was not weak and mostly she was not pathetic. She was only worried… and terrified. Kensi silently cursed Deeks because of her state, because of the conflicting emotions almost overwhelming her.

"Kensi, we are simply worried. We know it's difficult for you." Sam intervened, giving her a light smile. "It's difficult for us, too."

"Really, Sam? Is it really difficult for you, too? It didn't sound like that when you were spitting sentences against Deeks!" She didn't know why she brought this subject up, why she did it now, but the words came out of her lips without a warning.

"You're not being fair now, Kensi. What Sam said… what I said, it was just the result of a stressful situation, of a moment, of the sense of betrayal we felt. We are sorry about how we acted, but I think that Deeks himself was counting on this, on this kind of reaction from our part." Callen's firm stance was in contrast with his flickering eyes. He truly meant what he said.

She knew he was right, but she was simply too worried and she was finding it hard to control her emotions. "I know, I'm sorry. It's just that I hate what you said. I hate what he did… I hate this damn situation…" Her voice softened as she continued speaking. "I hate not knowing where he is."

Sam nodded, accepting her implicit apology. "We will get him back, Kensi."

A whistle interrupted the heavy moment and Eric appeared at the top of the stairs. "Can you guys come up to Ops? We may have something."

The three agents and the Operations Manager didn't wait for the tech to say it twice. One by one, they started climbing the stairs that led to the control room.

"What did you have, Mr. Beale?" Hetty asked, taking her place in the center of the room.

"We have been trying to locate the two cars that left the compound where we arrested Mason over the last few days, but we didn't get anything until this morning," Eric stated as a video feed showed up on the big screen. "Two men showed up at this parking lot. Look what happened."

The video showed two men, probably two of the DeBon's goons that parked the dark car before moving the other vehicles situated in the same place. Furtively, they approached a white van and in a blink of an eye, they managed to pick the lock of the door, jump inside and steal it, driving away.

"Tell me you have them on Kaleidoscope," Callen's words were more like a plea than a statement.

"More than have them." Nell toyed with her tablet and soon another video feed started showing the same van on the busy streets of Los Angeles. "Here you are!"

There was a new excitement in the air, like something was finally moving, like hopes were still high. This was the best news they had had in days.

"Mr. Hanna, Mr. Callen I suggest you catch up with the van, follow it and see where it takes us," Hetty told her two senior agents, who nodded in agreement whilst rushing towards the sliding doors of Ops. "And, be sure not to intercept it or make those men suspicious. We need to know where they are headed. I don't have to tell you why this is so important."

Instinctively, the two agents turned to face Kensi, silently sending a calming message to her. They were not going to screw things up. They knew the stakes were high and that Deeks' life might depend on this.

"Hetty, can I go with them? I… I… need to go there. I can't stay here doing nothing," the female agent literally begged.

"I'm sorry Miss Blye, but in your current state, it's better if you follow the operation from here. Whenever there will be the need of your assistance, you'll be summoned along with a tactical squad. But for now, you will stay here and if you can, get some rest." Even though her words had been said with a kind tone, this was indisputably an order from the Operations Manager that didn't give Kensi any chance for a reply.

Kensi sighed defeated, but she didn't have the energy to complain. Suddenly, she felt so drained and utterly tired. She cast a glance at her teammates who understood her mood, her clear discomfort and frustration. "Just keep us posted and…"

"Don't worry, we won't screw things up. I promise," Callen told her firmly. He beckoned to his partner to follow him. They were already at the door, ready to walk out, when they heard a phone ring. It was Kensi's.

The female agent took it out of the back pocket of her jeans and froze when she saw the ID of the caller. "It's… it's Bates," she murmured with a trembling voice. Bates would call her only if there was news and probably not good news. Fighting her shaking hands, she answered, "Lieutenant Bates…"

Everyone in Ops held their breath, staring at her in anticipation. They saw her face pale and the trembling increase. It was clear that she was really on the edge of breaking down. When she finished the conversation, she looked at her friends with teary eyes, a tight knot clenched her already dry throat.

"Kensi, what's going on?" Nell found the courage to ask, moving towards her friend and putting a hand on her arm, gently and careful not to startle her. She was shocked to feel Kensi shivering so badly. "Kensi…?"

"It… it was Bates. He said… he said that a patrol found a man last night, in a trash bin outside a filthy bar of ill repute in Downtown LA." The tears started rolling down her cheeks and she hated herself for being so weak, so emotional.

"Kensi, please, don't tell me that…" Eric was still trying to find the words when she interrupted him, with a unexpected steady voice.

"He was in overdose and paramedics took him to the Pacific Medical Hospital. He's… they don't know if he will make it." Kensi turned to face Hetty first, then the rest of her team, seeing their perturbed expressions. "They don't know whether he will make it through the day… I… can't…"

They didn't need to be told to whom she was referring to. All of them felt a pang in their hearts; this was a bolt out of the blue. They knew that this might happen, but after three days, they hoped that they could find their missing teammate before the worst could happen to him. But now…

"Mr. Callen, Mr. Hanna, you have a job to do which is more vital now than it was just few minutes ago." The Operations Manager tried to collect herself and get a bit of control on the situation. "We will keep you updated. Go now."

Sam and Callen exchanged a grave look, then nodded silently. The team leader moved towards his younger teammate. "It will be ok. He didn't get to this point just to give up," he tried to reassure her, but he didn't expect her reaction.

"I don't want him to die, Callen. I don't want Deeks to leave me." She burst out crying and her sobs chilled everyone's bones.

What seemed like a distant possibility until a few moments ago, was now the crude reality. Deeks could die. The words sounded strange, but sadly, so real.

* * *

Kensi rushed into the ER, almost assaulting the young woman at reception. "I'm Agent Kensi Blye of NCIS, my partner, Detective…" She didn't finish the sentence because an unexpected voice called for her.

"Agent Blye, over here!"

She walked rapidly towards the man, greeting him with a probable twisted face. "Bates, Where is he?" she asked, slightly agitated.

"They moved him to ICU, he's alive," Bates updated her, placing his hand on her shoulder, showing in a way the gravity of the situation. "But he's critical. I was waiting for you to come upstairs to see him. His doctor is waiting for us to give us a picture of his condition."

Kensi was able to understand clearly only two words, alive and critical. The rest was just mixed sounds.

"Miss Blye, are you ok?" Hetty, who had just joined them, could see the lost expression of her agent and was unable to hide her concern.

"What happened?" the NCIS young agent wondered, narrowing her eyes, staring in front of her, looking at nothing in particular. "What the hell happened?" She released her frustration and anger, raising her voice.

Lt. Bates placed one of his hands on his waist, moving aside his wrinkled jacket, and the other one at the back of his neck, scratching it nervously. On his face there were the clear signs of tiredness and according to the state of his clothes, it was obvious that he had spent a lot of time in this place. Waiting.

"I don't know much more than what I told you on the phone. I… I wanted to call you earlier, but the hospital needed some information and I had to talk with the officers who found him before contacting you." He paused, inhaling deeply. "They were doing their patrol when one of the clients of the bar stopped them to tell them that there was a man in a trash bin. At first they thought it was a homeless person who has found a comfortable place for the night, but as soon as they got to the hospital, one of the nurses recognized Deeks, so my men called me."

"They didn't recognize him? How…" Kensi felt a rush of fury coursing through her veins. She wanted to scream, to punch someone, to vent but she contained herself only because they were at the hospital and it was not the place for a scene.

"Miss Blye, please… I can understand that you're worried, but…" The diminutive woman tried to calm her, giving her a kind, reassuring smile.

"Miss Lange, she has all the right to be angry." Bates surprised the two women with his words but mostly, with his expression. He looked weary and worn out. "This whole operation has been a mistake, since the beginning. I should have known that listening to Granger was a bad idea!"

"We need to learn from our mistakes…" Hetty told him, realizing that this whole story was affecting the experienced cop.

"Yeah, too bad it's Deeks who's paying the price of your mistakes!" Kensi snapped. Hearing the Assistant Director's name made her blood boil. "You didn't care about what this bloody op was doing to him. You didn't care about him… about his life. Damn it! You took away from him everything he had… his life, his friends, the little bit of respect he had for himself. Do you know how hard he fought to get it?"

Guiltily, the lieutenant bowed his head, sighing heavily. He knew she was right and he felt really bad. In spite of his tough and grouchy exterior, he cared for his men and for Deeks too. He had a great respect for the man, his qualities and abilities.

The three of them walked in silence towards the ICU and when they finally arrived at their destination, they were approached by a black woman in scrubs. She greeted them with a kind, but serious look. "Hello, I'm Dr. Melissa Spencer and I'm Detective Deeks' doctor."

The lieutenant nodded, acknowledging her presence, while Hetty extended her hand to shake. "Dr. Spencer, Hetty Lange and this is Agent Kensi Blye, Mr. Deeks' partner."

The doctor checked her charts before talking to them. "Yes, I have been warned about your arrival."

Kensi couldn't wait any longer. "How's Deeks?" she asked, getting straight to the point.

Dr. Spencer's dark eyes stared at the agent. It was her job to talk to the families of her patients, but it was never easy. Bad news was always hard to deliver and harder to accept, even if the person receiving it was a Federal Agent.

"Agent Blye, Detective Deeks is in a coma." There was not an easy way to tell, so the doctor used the direct approach, but with gentleness. "When he arrived at the ER, he had serious trouble breathing, stomach cramps and dilated pupils. His tongue showed white patches and a bluish tinge to his mouth and nails. His blood pressure was too low. We put him on breathing support using a ventilator and hooked him to an IV to restore his fluids, but the overdose was at a very advanced stage. We administered some laxative first to get the heroin out of his body and then a medicine that blocks the body from absorbing any additional heroin because it can continue absorbing the drug even after the overdose stops."

"Oh hell with all of this!" Kensi waved her hands in the air, fighting the tears that were forming in her eyes. She knew the meaning of what everything the doctor was telling them. She understood the gravity of the situation… but deep down, she simply wanted to be reassured that her partner was going to be ok. "Please, tell me how he is really doing. I don't need you to recite the whole medical encyclopedia!" Her voice cracked. She was not sure she wanted to know the answer to her question.

"To recover from an acute overdose occurs within 24 - 48 hours. We have to hope that he will wake up within this period of time," the doctor explained, gravely. "We need to be positive, but I have to warn you, your partner was extremely debilitated, even before the overdose, and for sure he has been subjected to a severe beating probably antecedent the assumption of the heavy dose of heroin. There were bruises all over his body, along with a couple of cracked ribs. His system was already on the edge of a breakdown."

"How… what chance do you think he has?" the NCIS agent asked. She felt Hetty's hand on her back, but this didn't make her feel less lonely.

Dr. Spencer sighed heavily. "It's a bit too soon to say, we have to wait."

Hetty gave her a wary glance, sensing that there was something that the doctor was not sharing with them. She looked at Bates and noticed that he probably had the same impression. "Dr. Spencer, would you mind giving me a minute of your time in private?"

It was like a slap straight in the face for Kensi. "Hetty, what…" realization caught her and she had to brace herself not to break down. "She's not telling us everything, is she? Please, I need to know."

The Operations Manager nodded at the doctor then turned to face the younger agent.

"Agent Blye, heroin is often mixed with other substances, which can cause additional symptoms and organ damage." She started, biting her lips. "And Detective Deeks went into cardiac arrest, twice, the second time longer than we would have liked. We don't know whether the lack of oxygen to his brain has caused some serious damage or not. It's something we can't state right now."

Another jab to Kensi's stomach. "No… no. He… he will be ok. He… he promised me!"

"Kensi, calm down," Hetty tried to guide her towards a file of chairs, in vain. Her agent struggled, wriggling away from her and from her touch.

"I… I need to see him!" she almost shouted.

Dr. Spencer looked for the diminutive woman's eyes and when she saw her nod gravely, she took a deep breath. "Ok, come with me."

Bates passed a hand over his face while Hetty put her arms behind her back, shaking her head in disbelief.

"How did we get to this point, Lieutenant? That boy in there didn't deserve any of this! He was only trying to do his best to help people, as always…"

The lieutenant didn't know how to reply to this statement. He simply felt guilty, mad at the situation… and helpless. "I… I don't know, but I will take full responsibility. I am still his direct superior."

"Oh no, Lieutenant, you won't until I have a say in this matter. There is someone who is more responsible than you are. Someone who didn't even bother to answer my call when I tried to contact him this morning!" The diminutive woman's voice was cold and determined and her eyes sent daggers in the air. She barely contained her fury. "And don't worry, I won't let him slip away unscathed! My director will hear from me very soon!" She didn't wait for a reply. She trotted away, with one goal in mind.

Bates was left alone and he felt all the weight of this failure on his shoulders. The tiredness and the weariness of the sleepless night were taking a toll on him, along with the stress of the last period, of the other sleepless nights he spent at home, alone. He had never been the same since that day in which he had to take Deeks home after the younger man had found his way through Lara DeBon's organization. The emptiness and the fragility he had read in his detective's eyes were still haunting him. "Why did I let this happen? Why was I so stupid to listen to him?" he murmured, burying his face in his hands. "You have to make it, Deeks, so you'll punch me in the face. God only knows how much I deserve it!"

* * *

"What's up?" Callen asked his partner, as they were following the white van with DeBon's men inside.

The big man was biting his lips nervously and his knuckles had whitened from clenching the steering wheel. Something was definitively bothering him.

"Why must there be something up? I'm good," Sam stated firmly, but his body language betrayed him. He was nervous.

"Sam?" insisted his partner, lifting an eyebrow skeptically.

"We have to get them, G. We have to get them and send them to jail." The ex-Seal didn't cross his friend's gaze. His eyes were locked on the road, but it was obvious that his mind was miles away. "We need to make them pay for what they did… for Deeks."

Callen chuckled, almost amused. For someone who didn't get along very well with the cop and who had treated him like crap, Sam was very concerned. The team leader knew his partner too well. All the anger that the big man had shown towards Deeks in the last period was only because he had felt betrayed by someone he truly cared for. And even if he didn't want to admit it, Sam cared for Deeks. "For Deeks?"

"Oh come on, G! You can't believe that after he had been made, Deeks decided to kill himself with a shot!" The ex-Seal sighed heavily, passing a hand on his face. "His cover has been blown and… they… they decided to get rid of him."

They had heard the news from the hospital. They knew about the overdose, about the cop's critical condition and they were obviously worried. Well, maybe a little bit more than worried. Deeks was one of their own, in spite of what had happened in the last period. In spite of all the words that had been said, of all the insults, of all the arguments. The fact that he had lied to them, heck that he had been forced to lie to reinforce his cover, was completely forgiven. They all knew that in this line of work, they were forced to do things that they might not like, that they might regret. It was the final goal that counted, but this time, they didn't know whether the goal and the good ending of the mission were worth all of this mess. Deeks had risked everything in order to be part of this operation, giving up all the things he cared for the most, and now he was paying the highest price.

Sam took a deep breath. He had done undercover operations that had a rough impact on him and on his life, but what the Shaggy haired detective had done this time, was even beyond that. And he could only admire a man who was ready to do that, who was ready to sacrifice all of himself to get the job done. "It's not fair, G. Not fair at all."

"Not fair? What are you talking about?" Callen wondered puzzled.

"Deeks. He didn't ask for all of this and he doesn't deserve to be in that hospital bed, fighting for his life because of…" The ex-Seal's hands almost crushed the steering wheel for the strength he put in holding it. "I would like to have Granger's neck in my hands now."

"Yeah, I know the feeling. The man can get on my nerves so easily…" the blue eyed man let his words die in the air, giving his friend the sensation that he was holding something back.

"What?" Sam pushed him, reading his partner well.

"Don't get me wrong, Sam. I am with you with the idea of breaking Granger's neck, but I don't think he would have wanted things to end up like this. I mean, this whole op might be a big mistake, but what he wanted to achieve was right. Stopping a significant drug trafficking ring and finding a mole at the Office are very delicate and important tasks."

The ex-Seal's expression hardened, not believing in what his ears were hearing. "Am I getting deaf, or have you just defended Granger?"

"I'm not defending him, especially not after what happened to Deeks, but even if I don't agree with him and his methods, I can understand his reasons. And when you are in a position like he is, you have to make some decisions that can be very unpopular or hard. We've all done it once in our life." Callen didn't have the courage to look at his partner, almost ashamed of what he said. He truly meant it, but he was aware that in the light of what happened with this operation, Sam might be thinking differently.

Silence fell in the car, both men lost in their own thoughts. It was the ex-Seal that decided to break it.

"I can grant you that, but he should have done things differently. He should have talked to us and shared his plan with us. Hell, he sent Deeks under all alone, without even an alias to hide behind!"

"And what did we do with the Clarence Fisk's case? Didn't we send him under without an alias to hide behind?" The team leader's words were heavy. He still remembered the hurt he saw in Kensi's eyes when she found out that Deeks had been fired. This time he had felt the same hurt on his own skin and it was not a pleasant sensation. "Was that time different because we were behind the whole operation? Were we better than Granger was? I don't know Sam, but sometimes this work just sucks."

Once again, the silence engulfed the car and the tension was so thick that could be cut with a knife. And once again, it was Sam that was the first one to talk.

"Do you think he will make it?" he asked, his worry was obvious.

"I… I hope so, even if Hetty didn't sound so reassuring on the phone."

"He has to make it, G. I… I have to apologize for what I told him and mostly, because of what I didn't tell him, of the respect I didn't show him." There was an urge in the big man's voice, like he wanted to push their teammate to get up from that hospital bed and get better soon so they could sort things out. It was clear that this situation between them was affecting the ex-Seal more than he wanted to let the others know. "He has to give me the chance to set things straight between us… I… I feel…"

"Guilty, I know." Callen stated firmly, his hand moved to his mouth, nervously. "I know the feeling. Trust me, I know exactly what you mean. I didn't go soft on Deeks too and knowing how much he put into this op, it makes me feel so bad."

"At least you tried to convince me that I was completely out of line!" Sam flashed one of his dimpled smile, even if his eyes were still very sad and full of sorrow.

His partner was going to reply when he noticed that the van they were following made a turn into an isolated area and successively stopped in front of what looked like an old factory. There were two other cars parked in front of the decaying building. Without hesitation, he took out his phone, took a couple of pictures and then dialed Ops. "Eric, I have a couple of plates for you. I took some pictures that I'm sending to you. Can you run a search?"

The tech checked his computer and saw the pictures download. "They are coming through. Just give me a moment."

Sam stopped the car at a safe distance while waiting for Eric to give them some answers.

"Ok, the first one, the blue SUV, is registered to Admiral Johnson Mason, while the other one, the black Sedan is a rental, paid with cash by…"

"Fred Carroll," Callen finished for him.

"How… how do you know that?" the tech wondered a bit puzzled.

"Because he just walked out of the building. He's outside, talking to someone on the phone." It was Sam who spoke now. "Can you see if you can trace the call?"

"Sorry Sam, but his phone is still disabled. The one he's using is probably a burn phone that he bought, also with cash!"

"Thanks Eric." The team leader was observing the man who had betrayed them, their trust, and was starting to think of a plan of action, when he saw Carroll moving towards his car. "No, this is not good. Carroll is leaving!"

"We can't let him go!" yelled Sam, uncomfortably shifting his weight in his seat.

"Eric, you need to do something to stop him!" Callen ordered, holding his phone tightly. "We can't move from here."

There was a sound of buttons being pressed, of chairs scratching, of muffled voices coming from the other side of the line. "Come on, come on… How is it going, Nell?"

"I'm on it, I just need a bit more time," the analyst said, her voice determined and concentrated.

Minutes passed, although it seemed like hours for the two agents stuck in the Challenger keeping an eye at the abandoned factory, then when they were losing hope, they heard a satisfied scream coming from Ops.

"Hey, what happened?" Sam asked urgently. "Nell, Eric, talk to us!"

The cheery voice of Nell reached their ears. "Well, it seems that Carroll's rental car has been used in a _robbery_ and a LAPD patrol had to stop him to check on it and take him to the precinct to check his alibi."

Both Callen and Sam released the breath they were holding and high fived to each other.

"Good job!" The team leader congratulated them. "But it's not over. We need a tactical squad and we need it asap. We'll call Hetty and update her on the new developments."

"Ok, I'll alert one immediately. I'll call you back." Eric told them before closing the communication.

"So, what do we do now?" Sam asked, stretching his muscles.

"We wait for the tactical team to get here, then we take those bastards down!"

"Beside the waiting part, I love your plan." The ex-Seal grinned cunningly, preparing mentally for the burst. He truly couldn't wait. If he hated Granger because all of this mess, well, he hated Larry and Lara DeBon even more. "We will get them, Deeks, you just hang in there," he whispered, unaware that his partner heard him.

A smile curled Callen's lips. They were going to get the bad guys. No matter how or when. They owed it to Deeks. They owed it to one of their own, a member of their family. And no one touched one of their own and left unscathed.

* * *

Things are moving... but still, they are not looking very good.


End file.
